


Everything Begins Elsewhere

by muchmadnessissense



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Swan Queen - Freeform, established swan queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 84,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muchmadnessissense/pseuds/muchmadnessissense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina sets herself free by loving the wrong person. Emma grapples with loving the right person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> None of the characters belong to me. Only the idea

She accepted she was in love.

No…more like she was aware she was in love.

Of course, whatever love means. After all this wasn't the fairytale land, where your knight in shining armor would gallivant on a horse and sweep you through your miseries, into a life of comfort and hope.

So it wasn't how she felt when she loved Daniel though – free, intoxicating, safe.

It was the opposite of safe if she were being honest.

The love she felt swell inside her, terrified her. More terrifying than even the darkest nights that she spent under Leopold hoping that dawn would lift up the pain that surged through her entire body, and along with it freedom - until the next nightfall crept in.

Now, she went to bed with desire and woke up with yearning and a renewed sense of hope. This made no sense actually, because the one who she loved, loved somebody else and hoped for someone else. Her love was happy and for the first time in 29 years, knew what family and unconditional love really meant. Something whose warmth she never got to bask in, in spite of having it all, once upon a time.

She constantly fretted if it was selfish of her to wish that someday she would be loved back? Shouldn't you be happy if someone you love already loves and is loved back? Hoping for a happily ever after only means she is again trying to script what the future must be. She didn't want that. For once she wanted that people would choose to be with her, choose to act the way they desire and choose to love her because they want to and not because they must.

It was why she never had the courage to even hint about it to anyone. Well who would she have even spoken about it too anyway? It wasn't like she had any friends in town. The bug was her only available option if she wanted to talk to someone (but she couldn't trust him again); everyone else was too fearful and suspicious of her to even try anymore. Not that she could blame them; after all, she did terrible things and acted in unkindest of ways – even after the curse was lifted.

Yet she had hoped that she would be given a second chance, well thirty-fifth if you were 'actually' keeping count. Only because she had been trying really hard, and anyone who knows what an addiction is, would know that the hardest thing to do for an addict was to accept that they need to change for 'themselves', which is what she had done.

Without holding on to any crutch.

This wasn't for Henry, because of Henry, or by Henry.

This was for HER.

It wasn't to get him back in her life. This was only to keep her in his - in any little way she could. For that she knew she had to change, be a person who isn't driven by vengeance or revenge and to stop feeling victimized. If she thought about it now, all she lost was her lover that night at the stables, her future she murdered herself when she decided to go down the dark path of controlling the endings of others.

She however couldn't deny that part of wanting to be a good person again was because of that night – the night she can never forget – when she was dropping her son off at Mary Margaret's after an evening of playing chess, talking about dragons and baking a chocolate cake. Catching the glimpse of those green eyes staring thoughtfully into space, cell phone nestled between her shoulder and ears, while her hands were busy ruffling the dark hair of the man whose head was resting on her lap.

She wasn't sure why but she wished those dark locks in which those fingers were playfully entwined were hers. And without any realization, she began running her fingers through her own hair with a sort of yearning, she had only felt during the night of her wedding to Leopold, while imagining Daniel softly touching her cheeks and whispering her name as if the wind had carried it all along to her ears.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there, until she saw a pair of perplexed green eyes stare at her with a look that while it held no contempt, also held no love or warmth. Just indifference.

That was the night she knew, like she had on the night of the curse, no matter what the outcome, she was destined to be alone.

It was Henry - lazily plopping himself over the man's stomach - who had first caught sight of her still at the door (which had led those green eyes to trail his, thereby noticing her) leading to a half-hearted dinner request from Neal (who she barely even looked at), spurred on by Henry's persuasive, pouty appeals.

Mary Margaret and David seemed to throw around looks that suggested they'd rather burn their dinner than have her gatecrash their 'family' routine. She thought a minute or two about staying, not just to spend some more time with her son, but also to probe at this sudden foreign feeling that clenched her heart every time she looked into those green eyes.

However, it was the jaded look in those same green orbs that made her politely turn down the offer and walk out, tears brimming in her own dark brown pools threatening to erupt before a glaring Ruby would walk past away. A few blocks down as her tears had begun to freely chart a course through her cold cheeks, she tossed a box into the dustbin at the corner of the bend and hastily embraced herself for the lonely night ahead.

She remembers cursing herself for even hoping that at least Henry's other mother would have seen her differently. Yes, strange are the ways of the heart, for she now saw the woman not as a threat or a problem in her life, but as the mother of her son and the one person who could readily crush her own heart without even having to reach into her heart to do so, just like she done moments ago.

She had gone to bed that night, gulping down two glasses of whiskey, hoping to drown away the sting she felt in her heart. Alas, she realized as she woke up the next morning was that kind of magic didn't exist in this world, but being the true champion of resilience that she was, she had hoped tonight would put an end to all this momentary fancy she felt for a certain annoying blonde.

However, 289 nights had passed after that night. The warmth that flooded her chest at the thought of those green eyes…never did.

Regina, the cold hearted cruel evil queen for once had been at the receiving end of a curse – the curse of having fallen in love with a savior called 'Emma Swan'.

Perhaps that was her punishment after all. A curse that in this case would only lead to the Evil Queen being broken…

Yet she smiled like a total buffoon. No longer would she ever be alone. For her heart was no longer empty and dark; it was blessed to have been blessed by love.

She was aware she was in love.

No...more like love had (once again) accepted Regina Mills.


	2. Denial

he was wondering who is worthy of love?

No…more like did 'she' deserve all the love?

Emma Swan couldn't believe how life had changed for her in just over a year. From being someone who nobody wanted, someone who had too much space in her life, who always yearned to be saved, she had found herself being loved by too many people too soon, her heart and home filled with the love and admiration of her parents/son/ father of her child and an entire town (except Regina of course) and being the savior who broke the curse, that led to everyone's happy beginnings, all over again.

She should have been happy, and perhaps she was. But there was something that always lurked beneath the surface of that happiness, threatening to burst itself through the edges of her heart and reveal the façade of a fairytale her life had currently become.

Most nights she lay in bed wondering what that something was. Many a days she plotted ways to not have those nights – ploughed her body and mind up to the point of exhaustion hoping that sleep came before the break of dawn.

As she found no other better answer, she began to believe that because things had changed so fast and so inexplicably in her life, that feeling, was just her being overwhelmed with too much happiness after a life without any.

After all no normal person (savior or not) could cope with the changes without feeling unsettled, or being disconcerted about the price of such abundance (except if you are the Evil Queen) as Ruby had told her two weeks earlier when she strolled to Granny's diner too early in the morning – by her standards - for a cup of strong coffee to wash down 'that' feeling which had plagued her entire night.

A night spent having a family dinner with all those she loved and who loved her back.

A night spent listening to Henry plead about how they should start harvesting magic beans so that they could go back to their 'home' the enchanted forest and also about Regina's heavenly chocolate cake that he helped her bake that evening (couldn't Regina have the courtesy to send over a few pieces) which made Snow squirm every time Henry said 'mom's hands are full of magic' and David scoff with disbelief for apparently he thought he made the best chocolate cake in town. She could picture Regina roll her own eyes at the shepherd's 'delusion of grandeur ' as she'd have said.

A night when she made love to Neal, something he thought they didn't do often enough and something she felt was often enough to satiate her body's hunger to be touched but not her aching soul's desire to be healed.

Which was Regina's fault – almost everything is her fault right? Wait how had Regina seeped into this thought too?

Must be because of that night she tried to justify to herself.

It was the same night she thought Regina was behaving rather strange when she came to drop Henry over.

That night when she didn't give into Henry's incessant pleading to invite Regina for dinner (was it her or did Regina seem keen to be there) for honestly speaking she didn't think Regina had changed that much (she had a little) to have enough patience to sit through an entire dinner of Snow fawning over Neal (as she always did) and marveling at what the odds were of two true loves finding their happily ever after at the same time!

But a bigger part of her didn't give in because had she not known better, she would have thought what she saw in Regina's eyes mirrored exactly what she sees in Neal's every day.

That something which swam about in those brown pools, something of which Emma had caught a fleeting but solid glance of, had left her feeling very very very disconcerted to say the very least.

Even though this wasn't Fairytale Land and Emma knew loving another woman wouldn't get you witch hunted by the town people or banished to hell by the collective conscience of the world (ok, well that still happens) but this witch wasn't capable of loving anyone but herself, forget loving the savior – the one who stole away her happy ending.

Her Henry.

Their Henry?

However superior Emma thought of herself as a person in comparison to Regina, she always found herself feeling inadequate to Regina when it came to being a mother. She always felt her self-confidence tumble and crash against the stoic and unwavering devotion Regina had towards Henry.

Even when he barely glanced at Regina during those early days after the curse broke, or when he manipulated her into fixing up meetings at the diner so that he could go around sneaking in her tomb, or when he nonchalantly would call her up minutes before dinner to announce that sudden plans with Neal and grandpa (sword fighting lessons yay) had come up and he couldn't come around.

Never once had Emma seen Regina's eyes betray any other emotion other than love and warmth every time they set themselves on Henry. Had it been her, she thinks she would have probably magicked the kid's ass to a land full of dragons (those sword fighting lessons could be put to test too).

Which is why sometimes it was so hard to understand whether Regina was really the monster that everyone thought she was or that she is just the monster that everyone let her become?

It made her rather uncomfortable when she thought about how this world was never balanced and how sometimes it was harder if you were an evil woman as opposed to an evil man (Rumple hasn't still lost anything for all his manipulative and monstrous ways).

Here was a town full of people, everyone who loved Emma so much without even having known her for that long and then there was Regina who everyone knew for so long but had nobody to love her.

Not even Henry.

He did love her in his own selfish way, but not with the selflessness that Regina loved Cora. Too bad Regina didn't have a biological kid of her own. Maybe the kid would've been more forgiving of the evil in the queen.

Oddly, when it came to loving, Emma thought, among all of them Regina surely was the one who could love most selflessly, fiercely and completely. She would have died to have a mother like Regina while growing up in those foster homes.

It led her to think about her original thoughts of how Regina could only love herself.

Perhaps, the problem wasn't that Regina didn't know how to love others, it was that Regina didn't know how to love herself! It explains all her actions that drove her to seek vengeance and murder so many in the name of it.

Love became her weakness.

And Emma was pretty certain that of all the people who could make her weak, Emma couldn't be that one. Certainly looking at how nobody had managed to grow roots in the queen's heart ever since Daniel. Also Emma wasn't definitely her type. Wait why is she debating if she is Regina's type?

She had hoped she would be proved right in the end – the thought of being in any way responsible for Regina's misery sent an unexpected ache in her heart. Compassion Emma had reasoned, for she knew how it felt all those years when she loved someone who she thought didn't love her back. Unrequited love is the most brutal of all loving.

Maybe whatever she saw in Regina's eyes that night was just a figment of her imagination, one that was extremely creative due to all her sleepless nights.

It seems unlikely though, for it has been 289 nights since that night (the calendar is right across her bed) had passed and yet every time they bumped into each other while dropping Henry off or at the town when she would be strolling around with her entire family (Gold included) for a late Sunday brunch or the monthly town meetings which the Mayor would preside over (Regina was as good a Mayor as she was a Mother) 'that' something which she glanced into those brown pools had stubbornly stayed and to her horror spread its roots deeper, threatening to form wings every time Regina flashed Emma a kind smile.

It made her feel ridden with guilt. Had she encouraged Regina to think she too wanted the same? She didn't. She was happy with Neal and Henry. She had a family. All that was missing in her life was something - something that was probably nothing. Everything else was perfect. She had it all...

Except...

She couldn't deny she wanted Regina to be a part of the family. After all she was Henry's mother – the woman who raised him for the 10 years that she and Neal weren't around.

She realized her heart did flutter at the thought of befriending the Evil Queen. Only so that she didn't have to worry about her killing the whole family.

Did she say she was selfish? Why did Henry not see through it, when he wasted no time in dismissing Regina's selfless love?

She laughed in her head at her thought about how she wished things were back to the days when the curse wasn't broken. It was at least better than this. She found it easier to ignore all the unwanted suitors who were competing for her heart (to her disdain she also had to constantly put up with Hook's grotesque attempts at flirting)

This evil one 'with her warm soulful brown eyes' though seemed to have found all the goodness from somewhere to fall in love with a woman who had snatched away her happy ending by ending the curse! Oh the irony Emma thought, of being the one who will eventually crush the Evil Queen's heart.

For now, for once, all Emma just wanted was a good night's sleep.

Regina though was threatening all that. With her stupid warm smile and with that unsettling poetry her eyes were writing. Wait…poetry?

She pondered what she had done to deserve all this love.

No…more like why EVEN the evil felt love for Emma Swan?

Why?


	3. Intervention

Things that you don’t want are somehow the things that you always get. Things that you never thought you would want, end up being the best thing you could’ve ever received.

………

 

Regina had thought things would get easier once she just accepted that she was indeed in love with the other mother of her son. Just as she had felt that magic would return the loss of control she felt over her own life.

 

Of course, it hadn’t. They never did for Regina Mills. 

 

She tries to coax her mind into dwelling upon the moment that she truly and utterly fell for Emma, but her memory fails to sparkle up anything meaningful enough. 

 

Perhaps this is how people like her fall in love, not knowing when they do. 

 

Love has to creep upon them, silently and stubbornly, because otherwise they’d run away so fast love could never catch up.

 

Emma sits by the Sheriff’s desk watching the clock tick away. 

 

It isn’t like she has much to do; Storybrooke has gotten sleepier than before. The only disturbance comes from the antics of a rather drunk dwarf – Leroy- now that all the bad guys are either dead, jumped portals or had chosen the path to redemption. 

 

A reformed Evil Queen should have eased up the knots in her tangled life.

 

Of course, it hadn’t. They never did for Emma Swan.

 

She wonders how long it had been since she had seen Regina. Previously, she had brief chats with the Mayor prior to some town meeting or when Regina would come over to drop Henry off or when they were walking towards Granny’s to grab a Sunday brunch. But since the past fortnight or so, Emma hadn’t seen the former Queen. 

 

She refused to dwell on the odd wistful feeling that suddenly had settled into her chest and was threatening to make it home. 

 

Maybe Regina was just busy with her life (who was in her life anymore?) and besides it was only for those 289 nights that Regina acted like she was purposefully seeking Emma out. 

 

Unless of course – now - Regina was purposefully avoiding her?

 

…………

 

She is rushing past Mifflin street, inwardly cursing herself for not choosing the more practical option of boots over the 4 inch heels. She scoffs at how some things about her will never change – no matter how fallen she was in the eyes of the world, including her own son’s, she would never let her outward appearance bear any testimony to that.

 

For since a fortnight now, Regina had been trying to actively avoid Emma and the Charmings. 

 

So, she stayed at home on Sundays, would say her goodbye to Henry a few blocks before Snow’s apartment, would go grocery shopping in the middle of the afternoon, and walk around the pier late into the night.

 

This however wasn’t one of those cleverly planned trips to the store. She had realized, she forgot to stock her fridge with the celery sticks that Henry loves to snack on while watching the same Batman movie for the umpteenth time now, with much curiosity and eagerness as if it were his first viewing.

 

Regina wonders if the villain of that movie (what kind of a bad guy goes by the name of Joker) is how Henry views her too – a painted face used as a mask to protect all the inner vulnerabilities and insecurities threatening to rip out from the remaining shreds of sanity holding together the tattered fabric of a damaged soul.

 

For a fleeting moment she pictures Emma in the costume of Batman, her blonde locks dancing wildly in the wind - spilled out of that ridiculous Batman cowl mask, holding on to Regina’s wrists, and then forest green eyes twinkle mischievously before playfully pulling Regina closer to her body as the word ‘Joker’ softly escapes her lips. 

 

‘Miss Swan, I’m still the Evil Queen to your Batman, no way is my make up that gaudy!’

 

Regina doesn’t know what is worse, that she had uttered her fantasy out aloud, or that someone had been watching her long enough to have overheard it. 

 

Looking directly into those kohl rimmed eyes staring at her with amusement, she freezes when she notices something else peeking from beneath the curtains of those eyelashes - oddly, she spotted empathy too.

 

She breaks out of her stupor when he cocks up an eyebrow at her and mutters ‘You see I always thought Batman was gay. But I’d have thought Robin was more his type, than the Joker!’

 

‘What is it that you want Hook? If you’re looking for someone to break bread with over your sexual fantasies for Batman, I think you need to seek out Leroy’s drunken ass lying around the Rabbit Hole somewhere’

 

‘C’mon Regina’ Hook steps in front of her, as he speaks with a playful hint to his voice ‘I’m interested in going down a different hole, you know that.’ 

 

Sensing that she was on the edge of irritation, and fearing that even a slight provocation could end him being turned into a – 3 legged – toad, he lets out a soft sigh, holding his hands up, palms facing towards her as some form of peace offering.

 

He speaks softly but his voice remains steady ‘Regina, I just…just wanted someone to talk to. You see, we both have had lives that have played out in eerily similar ways, circumstances that chose who we ended up as and people that led us there. And therefore I think even now, only you can understand the pain I’m in, seeing that it is the same one that currently threatens to tear apart your own heart too.’

 

For a split second Regina’s mind fails to comprehend the words that are coming out of his mouth. 

 

She wonders if she was still stuck in her earlier Batman fantasy and this was the fairytale crossover – Hook befriending the Joker.

 

When the wind carries along to her nostrils traces of the scent of rum mixed with cheap cologne, she realizes that such drama was only befitting for her life. If it wasn’t for how sadly pathetic indeed the truth was, it would have been really hilarious that the psychotic Evil Queen and the inept Pirate had both fallen for the unattainable Saviour.

 

Actually, it is just perfect. Karma or something like that?

 

…..

 

Emma is standing by the kitchen counter waiting to sneak in to her mouth a few spoons of the pasta sauce that David has got cooking. She is inexplicably grateful that she hasn’t had to move out from her parent’s apartment, for otherwise, cooking would’ve been a chore that would have made her already complex life more insufferable.

 

It is why she readily puts up with all the mushy Charming moments between her parents, even though the sight of her mother licking pasta sauce out of her father’s finger and whispering something into his ear, causing his cheeks to flush red, is currently making Emma feel uncomfortable enough to move towards the other end of the room.

 

She often wonders why she does not share such an affable equation with Neal. 

 

They are never this playful – although Emma would only have herself to blame for not being as carefree as Neal is with showering affection. Or is this something that only happens with those who each others true love? 

 

Where you both can enjoy the silence as well as the sounds of each other without having to worry about the noise of the world around?

 

Emma is broken from her thoughts by Snow’s exasperated cry ‘Emma! your phone has been buzzing twice now. What world are you in?’

 

Before Emma can speak up, her cell phone starts ringing again and she answers it before even the first ring has come through ‘Hey, where have you been’ she can hear Neal mumble on the other side. 

 

‘Oh I was just helping David with the pasta sauce’ which gets her a raised eyebrow from both Snow and David. Sometimes Emma still has a difficult time with calling her parents mom and dad, but there are other times – like at the mine – when it rolls off her tongue effortlessly.

 

“I just called in to let you know that I cannot make it for dinner tonight. Now that I think of it, not a bad thing indeed’ he chuckles before continuing ‘Papa needs some help with picking out a gift for Belle, they have some anniversary coming up.’

 

She feels a little bit disappointed that she has to yet again sit through an entire evening all alone with her parents and son, when all she’d rather do is get drunk with Neal and just snuggle around doing nothing. 

 

“Hey, you there…I’m sorry, but I’ll make it up to you. I promise…’

 

‘It is fine Neal, just don’t forget to bring Henry the new Avengers comic book – as you had promised - when you come by tomorrow.’

 

He mutters something which Emma doesn’t catch, consumed by her own irritation at the thought of having to play yet another board game after dinner tonight, and pretend everything is all sunshine and rainbows. 

 

“Emma, you didn’t answer” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Why don’t we do things like this – anniversaries and wooing each other anymore?” 

 

She remains silent because honestly she doesn’t have an answer for it. 

 

She can almost see his eyebrows creasing together and his lips twitching into this scowl, something she found endearing from the first time she saw him do it in the yellow bug, with that worn out hoodie pulled over his head.

 

It instantly warms her heart and she lets out a small laugh as she says ‘Maybe because you are nothing like your father - he seems to be not so good with the ladies. You on the other hand, don’t have to try too hard to keep a girl happy?’

 

She can hear him smile as he utters ‘I love you my Swan’. 

 

She cradles the phone closer to her ears, because no matter what, she will always need to be told that she is loved and wanted and suddenly she needs Neal more than ever. 

 

They exchange their goodbyes and she thumps down on the sofa leaning her head back while throwing her right forearm over her eyes, wondering if there will ever come a time when she won’t need the constant reassurance that she is wanted and loved.

 

She can feel the dip in the sofa and a hand starts stroking her hair gently, and so she peeps to see Mary Margaret looking at her, eyes filled with so much warmth and love, the same look Regina reserves only for Henry.

 

‘What?’ she says with an eye roll.

 

Snow continues to smile as she delicately tucks a strand of blonde hair behind Emma’s ear before she speaks ‘Was that Neal?’

 

Emma silently nods and braces herself for the next set of questions that were going to be unleashed her way.

 

‘Is he going to be late for dinner today?’

 

‘No, he can’t make it today. Some work with Gold and Belle has come up’

 

Snow coos with childish enthusiasm ‘Ooooo so already missing your Prince Charming huh?’ In the background she can hear David guffaw as the sounds of pots and pans clink noisily away.

 

‘Mary Mar – Mom, please leave it be. Where is Henry?’ 

Emma realizes that there is no better way to change a topic than to start speaking about Henry. It is how she has always managed to weasel her way out of uncountable honest moments with Regina too.

 

‘Henry is getting dressed. He said he wanted to drop by Regina’s before dinner’

 

The mention of Regina’s name had Emma sit upright, all ready to take charge, like getting yourself prepared before the arrival of a storm. She was used to this feeling prior to the whole Neverland adventure, because she found herself constantly unsure about Regina’s emotional stability. 

 

Now though she cannot comprehend why her heart has suddenly raced up and why a different kind of –unfamiliar - anxiety is settling at the pit of her stomach.

 

‘Why? Hasn’t he been seeing Regina all week?’

 

Snow suddenly turns around her to check if Henry is coming down, and then speaks in a hushed voice ‘Actually, he hasn’t seen Regina today. He doesn’t want to admit it, but I think he can’t go one day without being held and hugged by her. Of course, he isn’t going to agree to it, so has made up some excuse about picking up a bunch of stuff for his science project from her mansion.’ 

 

Emma isn’t sure what unsettles her more - her mother indulging in such casual conversation regarding Regina or her son not getting enough of the Evil queen of late.

 

A small flash of jealousy bolts through her heart when she thinks about how both of them continue to pine over Regina’s absence in their lives, in their own ways, even though it is Emma who spent a great deal of time away from them all.

 

She laughs in her head when she thinks about how much Snow and Henry had in common when it came to their love for Regina. Both of them have always loved Regina so deeply in spite of being so acutely aware of her flaws, and yet they loved her selfishly because they weren’t noble enough to love her with those flaws, rather than in spite of them.

 

Her thoughts again drift to the Mayor and the previously unchecked feeling of what Emma feels like abandonment by Regina (as ridiculous as that sounds) rears its ugly head again. 

 

It is why she snaps back at Snow when she suggests that Emma drop off Henry at Regina’s because Neal was no longer available to escort him to Mifflin Street.

 

‘No way in hell is that happening. If Regina thinks I am going to bend backwards to have an audience with her Majesty, she has another thing coming.’

 

Her sharp tone makes Snow and David both eye each other silently, before David silently nods to Snow encouraging her to continue the conversation with Emma.

 

‘Emma darling, what is wrong? Did Regina do something, again?’

 

‘No, the problem this time is that she hasn’t done anything!’ Emma huffs aloud as she begins pacing the room.

 

‘I think she has been purposely avoiding me since a few days now, and before I was unsure, but now I am certain I know the reason for it.’

 

Snow blinks all confused and automatically blurts out ‘Why?’

 

‘Because, Mary Margaret, she is in love with me!’ Emma says emphatically as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world.

 

Emma can see all the color draining out of Snow’s face and her eyebrows are raised so far up her forehead they seem like two huge caterpillars twisted together to form a perfect set of mountains. 

 

A few seconds later, in the background a loud thud of David’s body hitting the floor echoes through the apartment…

 

Emma can’t help but chuckle at the thought of how much Regina would’ve loved these last 30 seconds

……

 

She isn’t sure why she agrees when Hook offers to walk along with her to the store. For most part of the time he had been very well behaved – not engaging her with his cheap suggestive innuendos and a part of Regina was really surprised at how much she missed having someone walk beside her, offering her nothing else but the dignity of companionship.

Hook seemed to be rather passionate when it came to his cereal and was mildly offended when Regina very innocently suggested that a bottle of hand moisturizer – they both loved the same brand - would probably be lasting him longer than it did her.

 

By the time they made it to her gate, the sun was almost setting and even in the dimming light, she could see Hook’s eyes moisten up as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other, wanting to ask her something but fearing the answer would steal away whatever vestiges of happiness the night still had yet to offer.

 

She said nothing either, because not only was she not good at comforting someone else (except Henry) but also because in that moment she didn’t want to ease the pain of someone she felt strangely connected to, by their mutual longing for the one woman, who could never see anything heroic in either of them for having the courage to love her, as much as she couldn’t see the villainous shade in Neal for being the coward who had abandoned her.

Villains like her and Hook deserved all the pain they got and it was the only way to stop fate from yet again snatching away any semblance of dignity that was being offered to them.

 

So when Hook asks her ‘Do you think it would have been better, had we not loved her at all? Kept our heart black and cold?’ Regina answers the only way she now does, truthfully. ‘No, it is better to live with unobtainable dreams, than no dreams at all. Not all happy endings make for a great love story Captain’

 

’Killian, call me Killian’ he smiles as he offers her the brown paper bag. ‘Good night Regina’ he says softly when she takes the bag and then turns around and walks away. 

‘Good night Killian’ she says once she is sure he can no longer hear her.

 

……..

 

Emma couldn’t believe her eyes as she stood near the corner of the street from where she could see Hook standing in front of Regina’s gate hovering awkwardly while holding on to a brown paper bag.

 

She had left her parent’s apartment more than 15 minutes ago, leaving a dumbfounded Snow to nurse a bad bump on David’s forehead. She told her parents she would explain everything in detail later, but she knew from the look on their faces that they just thought she was totally out of her mind.

 

‘What is Hook doing with Mom’ Henry blurts out, more like a statement rather a question. 

 

‘Not sure kid. Maybe they’re plotting to take over StoryBrooke again’ she says trying to sound sarcastic.

 

‘No. She has changed. She is no longer the Evil Queen she once was’ he says as he looks into Emma’s green eyes with conviction and then abruptly looks away.

 

‘Relax, I was only kidding’

 

Because Emma knows he is speaking the truth, and that Regina indeed was a changed woman. Nobody could really see it, but she could, as much as she tried hard not to, she could see how the Evil Queen had given up the crutches of anger and hatred, in exchange for the power that love and forgiveness brings. 

 

‘I didn’t find it funny’ Henry says, his voice laced with annoyance and impatience.

 

Emma too felt the whirlpool of annoyance slowly build up in her heart. She couldn’t understand why Hook casually chatting with Regina was flaring up sparks of anger within her. 

 

She decided though that she was going to find out why. The only way, to get answers to all the questions, was from the source of the annoyance– from Regina herself.

 

……


	4. Beginnings

_Some things are better left unsaid. Sometimes you realize the best decisions for your life, happen to be those in which you never had to choose…_

_…_

 

'Mom' she spins around surprised to hear the one sound that has always anchored her magic away from the dark abyss of her heart. Every single time without fail, it is the one voice of reason that has stopped her sadness from plunging into new depths of low.

 

But why would Henry be around here at this time of the evening? Even in those few seconds, her mind barreled into a stack of questions – Was he hurt? Is Emma ok? Had something bad happened? Did she do something wrong, again? What is it now that she had done?

 

Before she could process any further, she felt a body slam into her, slim arms wrapped themselves around her waist tightly, and eyes as soft and warm as the morning sun radiated nothing but love in them. She couldn't help but smile, as she leaned in to kiss the top of his head, sniffing his familiar scent, invoking memories of a joyful past.

 

She opened her eyes when the air carried to her, the all too familiar men's perfume - a punch of smoky wood twirled with vegetal floor - that made her heart flutter and anxious at the same time. It always transported her back to her evenings in the EnchantedForest - her home away from home…

 

'Miss Swan' she smiled as she let go of Henry, who still had an arm tucked behind her waist. She wasn't sure how long to hold on to that smile, because she was certain considering how Emma was able to unmask her fairly easily, it would be apparent that there was nothing pleasing about this moment, one which had totally caught the otherwise stoic Regina Mills totally off guard.

 

She stood there hoping that the sound of her heart thundering in her chest couldn't be heard out aloud.

 

Wait a minute did Emma have any other super power other than knowing when someone was lying? Obviously, Regina didn't necessarily need to know about every magical ability Emma had, but surely Snow wouldn't have been able to resist from rubbing it in Regina's face, of how yet again her daughter was a 'magical' being.

 

Which Emma was, perhaps even the fairest of them all?

 

Even though she reassured herself that she was panicking for no reason, she began to think of spells where one could create the mute effect. She did remember reading a spell to that effect in one of the earlier books that Rumple had given her. What was it…

 

'Mom…Mom…Mom did you hear that?' her focus was broken when Henry began poking her arm. Suddenly Regina was too afraid to even look at either Emma or her son. How pathetic for an Evil queen to have her heart on display like that, she thought.

 

'Moooooooooooooooom heeelllllllllloooooooo' she heard Henry draw his words out and her eyes instantly snapped back to look at him, as he reached to grab something in her coat.

 

'Mom, your cell phone…' he said waving it on her face now. Regina just let out a sigh of relief and gave a tiny shake of her head, as she bit her lower lip from chuckling out aloud. 'Oh, I'm sorry I thought….never mind….' she cut off her words when her eyes fell upon Emma.

 

Emma stood there thumbs tucked into her jeans pocket and clicked her tongue. She seemed unusually irritated and Regina couldn't help wonder if it was because Emma was just disinterested to be here and have a conversation with Regina.

 

'Is something wrong Miss Swan?'

 

'No'

 

'Oh, well I really wasn't expecting you…I mean...you to bring Henry over now' Regina kept her gaze fixed on Emma, who still seemed to look anywhere but at Regina.

 

It earned her an indecipherable sound from Emma.

 

Henry spoke up when he saw his mother glancing questioningly at Emma 'I…I…I…'

 

Emma seemed as surprised as Regina to hear their son stutter. He is usually a kid who can ramble about anything with much confidence and composure. Even things he had no inkling about to be honest.

 

They both looked at each other to catch the same look of surprise and confusion reflect back.

 

Regina bent down to take Henry's chin as she spoke in an encouraging tone 'What is it dear?'

 

'I have a project on plants tomorrow and I needed to take the purple Joe Pye Weed to class, because it was a plant the native Indians used to cure fevers, so I was wondering if I could borrow the potted one from your garden? I promise I'll get it back'

 

'Of course darling, you should have just called me up. I would have sent it across to Mary Margaret's. There was no need for you to inconvenience Miss Swan for that.'

 

Regina looked up to see Emma's jaw stiffen and disbelief pool in those dreamy green eyes.

 

Without paying much attention to the disappointment she felt, she stood back up and motioned towards her garden while looking at Henry 'Go ahead and take what you need. Just be careful though. I was working on the white lilacs this morning and I haven't cleaned up the mess yet, so please watch your step too.'

 

Without any other word being spoken, Henry simply ran inside the gate and towards the mansion.

 

For a minute she stood there, wondering if she should invite Emma inside for a drink, but if she were being honest, she really thought it was best to avoid any communication with the blonde. Her heart was already up to no good and her eyes were playing tricks on her – was Emma's top see through or were Hook's perpetual horny hormones contagious?

 

Her eyes suddenly caught Emma peering at her, which made her worry if mind reading could indeed be her other superpower? How ironical she thought someone as thick skulled as Emma could end up being a mind reader. She couldn't help but chuckle at her own thoughts.

 

'What is so funny Regina? I could do with a few laughs too'

 

'Err nothing Miss Swan…I was only thinking about something funny from earlier on' Regina replied wanting to play it cool.

 

'Oh you mean from your time with H…'

 

'Mom'

 

….before Emma could complete her sentence Henry rushed back in and alternated between looking at both of them, a frown plastered on his face 'Why are you two still standing by the gate? I thought you'd have been in the house by now.'

 

'I was just chatting with Miss Swan here and I completely forgot to ask her in. I'm sorry…' she lied

 

'Oh and not my time with Henry Miss Swan…' dismissing Emma with a flutter of her fingers, before she turned around to walk towards the mansion, Henry in tow.

 

Emma just stood where she was. Regina's words making her more incensed for reasons she could not understand, but certainly didn't want to probe any further into.

 

'Emma' Henry called out to her when they had reached the door and Regina fished out her key from her designer black clutch with streaks of red satin running across its borders. His eyes flitter from the clutch now tucked under her armpits, to Regina's mischievous eyes now twinkling with a long lost memory and he instantly breaks into a giddy smile.

 

As Emma is catching up with the pair at the door, she sees both mother and son having a sweet moment of recognition - a story which she isn't a part of. She feels melancholy rush into her soul, with a brute force, like icy water cascading rapidly down a steep cliff.

 

Even though it makes her feel numb in some ways, being reminded yet again of how many precious years she has lost with her son, she realizes that a part of her hasn't felt more alive than ever before. To see mother and son bond about a period when she wasn't there, when her son was happier than he had ever been, when his dreams didn't bear the weight of being responsible for everyone else's fairytale happy ending, acts like a balm in soothing her old wounds of guilt and shame for having letting go of him, 11 years ago.

 

As much as she knows Regina won't like it, she still can't stop herself from prying into the private moment.

 

It wasn't because she was selfish enough to steal away every little memory that Henry could create without her, but because she wasn't selfless enough to at least let Regina have all the memories that Henry had created only with her.

 

'What is this about?' she motions, waving her index finger back and forth between the two of them.

 

Henry looked up at Regina, as if he silently was asking her for permission to let Emma into their world, a world that he had uprooted himself away from a long time ago, but a world that he knew, his mom continued to fiercely protect and nurture all by herself, just like she did the apple tree in her garden.

 

Mistaking his sad eyes as disappointment over Regina's reluctance to include Emma in their 'special' moment, she immediately cleared her throat and spoke up 'Miss Swan, do you see this read satin bordering across my clutch? Well when Henry was 5, one day he got so over enthused by the whole arts and craft class, he stuck up sequins, stars, and this gaudy red fabric across my favorite clutch. I got rid of the others, but kept this red satin border – gives a nice edge to it, don't you think?' she turned to wink at Henry, who couldn't help but giggle.

 

Emma smiled as she focused on the clutch, which seemed to have faint glue stains now that she saw it close hand and patches of red glitter faded in and out sporadically. She could picture a young Henry ruining that rather expensive piece of work and her heart clenched with longing for the little boy she never knew, but paused those emotions when she thought of a younger Regina – supposed Evil Queen – holding on to the damaged clutch for sentimental values, inwardly sighing at how lucky she was that her son was adopted by such an incredible woman.

 

Regina's mocking voice snapped her back to reality 'Miss Swan, are you thinking of a time when you ruined something with your art skills too? Considering how clumsy and uncoordinated Henry is, I have to presume it is genetics at work!'

 

'Well, a certain curse made it certain that I couldn't indulge in simple pleasures of that kind, Regina' she promptly retorted.

 

Emma realized that the statement came out harsher than she had intended it to. She berated herself for being unnecessarily combative, when all Regina was trying to do was make the moment light. Because even though Regina had tried to mask the guilt and shame that coursed through those brown sad eyes, Emma felt her own regret pick up on it in an instant.

 

'Miss Swan, I'm….' Regina's voice was brought to an abrupt halt when an Irish marching tune 'All Said and Done' began to sound off from her pocket. For some reason Emma recognized the tune this time and was certain this was the same tune that had rung in a few minutes earlier.

 

Instinctively, assuming that his mother was too pre-occupied with the usual verbal dual with Emma, Henry put his hand inside his mother's coat to retrieve the piece and his eyebrows shot up in surprise as he saw the name flash on the display. 'Mom, why is Hook calling you?'

 

Regina grabbed the phone and immediately answered with a curt ' Not now Killian, I'll call you when I will…' but not before noticing through the corner of her eye, Emma rolling her eyes and then letting out an indignant huff.

 

It suddenly made her very nervous when she saw two sets of eyes piercing into her own with a million questions afloat in them ( wait, why did Emma even have questions) and answers she knew that she wasn't ready to give.

 

'Oh well…umm…he must have had some work…I suppose….I'm not sure…I think I should…'

 

Before Regina could complete, Emma rudely cut her off 'Henry, I think we should let Regina get back to calling her kind and it is getting late kid, dinner must be getting cold…'

 

Henry unwilling to risk any more of Emma's tantrums being played out at his mother's doorstep motioned for her to pick up the small pot that was set by his side and then turned towards Regina to envelop her in a long hug, lasting a few more seconds, that even took Regina slightly aback.

 

When he broke off contact he spoke with certainty in his voice 'It is ok Mom. We saw you with Hook this evening and I am glad that you have someone to talk to.'

 

Emma saw the shock register on Regina's face and at that instant she genuinely wondered if this woman really was capable of all the lies, manipulations and treachery that people had claimed the Evil Queen had mastered to get her way through all those years.

 

She also noticed a sense of gratitude emanate from these deep brown eyes when her son continued 'I know what it is like to not be able to express your true thoughts and feelings with anyone. How sad and lonely it makes you feel. I don't want that for you, anymore. You know Hook is really not all that bad. He can even give you lessons in sword fighting, so in case your magic can't do the trick, you don't need any knight to protect you. Of course, I'll be there…but….I'm not always around these days am I?'

 

He said the last line with so much pain laced in his voice that Emma noticed Regina's eyes get moist, much as hers already were.

 

Regina swallowed audibly as if stopping a sob from bursting through the clutches of her throat and instinctively scooped him up in her arms.

 

'Thank you my Prince. I love you' Emma heard her faintly say before she let go of Henry and composed herself as the mask swiftly fell back in place.

 

Regina hadn't dared to look at Emma all this while. She knew the kind of insecurity that wrapped its tendrils across her chest when Henry used to be overly demonstrative – vocally and otherwise - to Emma during her early days in Storybrooke. But when she gathered the courage to finally steal a glance at those jade green eyes, she saw nothing but compassion and understanding for her son in them.

 

It was during that moment, that she yet again realized, why the Savior was truly a magical being, for unlike the Evil Queen she hadn't let herself get sucked into the black hole of life's unfair ways and succumb to the greed of staying afloat through revenge and misery. Instead she chose love and compassion and understanding, things which Regina was only beginning to let in.

 

The shame of how black her heart was, avoided her from registering the gloom she felt when Emma and Henry began to walk away.

 

Emma didn't even bother to glance at Regina as she turned away, throwing one arm over Henry's shoulder, while the other holding on to the edge of the pot. Her quick strides were halted when Henry suddenly tore himself from her grip and ran towards his mother who was still rooted to her spot where they had left her, a few feet away.

 

Even from that distance Emma could hear his voice clearly, blooming with love and longing.

 

'I lied' he smiled, looking shyly at a perplexed Regina.

 

'I didn't come here for any project. I came here ONLY to see you. I missed you Mom. I hadn't seen you today at all, and I just wanted to hug you before I go to sleep. I know I'm a big boy, but every day that you don't kiss my nose, like you always have done before bedtime, I seem to end up waking with nightmares in the middle of the night.'

 

Emma was as stunned with the admission as Regina was.

 

Regina stood there teary eyed, at what was the most beautiful set of words she had heard strung together in a very long time, like a perfect set of notes in a classical piece. It took her soul to a place where she felt one with the universe.

 

Emma watched Regina gracefully stoop down to her habitual act of bringing herself to Henry's eye level to hold his chin, before proceeding to teasingly rub the tip of their noses together. And then flashing her 100 watt smile (Henry had called it that), she playfully began dodging him left and right, to only end up grabbing the giggling boy and placing a soft peck on the tip of his nose.

 

'Good night Henry'

 

'I love you too Mom. Good night'

 

Before he could crash himself into Emma, barreling down towards her in his extreme excitement, Regina's voice boomed from the distance 'Wait, Henry…'

 

Regina ran over to them holding a bunch of comics in her hand 'I saw them at the store – the new Avengers, and I thought you might like to have it?' she ended her gaze directed towards Emma.

 

Emma for her part stood there stoic and oddly irritated but just nodded when Henry looked at her with pleading eyes.

 

'Thanks! Mom. Neal was supposed to bring this over before dinner tonight, but he had to cancel because of some plans with Grandpa Gold and Belle.'

 

Regina immediately sensed the awkwardness build up with Emma and when she noticed how rigid her body had got, it dawned upon her; the real reason for Emma's frosty mood tonight was the absence of Neal's presence.

 

The small thread of hope, that Emma's mood – good or bad - had something to do with her, which had strung itself through the evening from the low abyss of her mind, through the valleys of her heart and into the deep ocean of her soul, snapped apart.

 

She couldn't help but feel like someone had just punched her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her lungs. Suddenly she felt suffocated and her magic began tingling within her chest in that dark and ominous way that it does when she feels the lack of power and control.

 

Sensing she needs to salvage not only her sense of pride but also arrest the disconcerting look trespassing into Emma's otherwise rehearsed stance, she found it best to revert back to comfortable territory and what she knew best. Antagonizing Emma so that she could escape her own demons.

 

'Aah Miss Swan that explains why you have been so standoffish tonight. Here I thought I wasn't putting up my best behaviour. Oh dear, Mumblestiltskin already bored of all the Charming time with the Savior? Be careful Miss Swan, I don't know between you and him who is the more compulsive abandoner.

 

'R.E.G.I.N.A don't you dare drag Neal into this!' Emma barked right back at her.

 

'Or what Bonnie is going to ask Clyde to shoot me again?'

 

'What happened in Neverland was by complete accident Regina, you know that. The Lost boys had tricked him into pulling that trigger. He would never intentionally harm a single soul in this world. He is far too brave and righteous for that. Petty thief he may have been, but unlike you he isn't a murderous, vindictive, selfish bitch who cursed families and made her son think he was crazy, so that she could protect her own black heart! He is nothing like you Regina, thankfully nobody is, and so don't you dare stand there and judge his past!'

 

Emma was seething with so much anger that for a minute she thought she was almost about to punch Regina in the face.

 

Even though she knew that it was true, hearing the woman she was in love with validate her deepest insecurities and shame left Regina gutted. She suddenly had the urge to shed her skin off because her entire body felt like it was set on fire, even though her heart felt stony and cold.

 

It was why she was innately grateful to Henry when he wordlessly grabbed hold of Emma's hand and raced away from the mansion.

 

 

…

As Emma had stepped away from the mayoral mansion, her body suddenly shuddered under the wave of a shiver that came swooping out of nowhere. Alarmed she had squeezed Henry's hand tighter, hoping to find some validation from him regarding what just transpired between Regina and her.

 

When he smiled back at her with sad eyes, she wasn't sure whether to be mad at him or to be grateful. Why did he always forgive her so quickly? He never extended that to the woman who was there for him for the 10 years Emma never was!

 

Her mind was wrestling with so much conflict that she excused herself from dinner and the board game. Snow wanted to get to the bottom of the whole story but thankfully both Henry and David talked her out of it.

 

It seemed like even without Neal she had managed to spend the evening just as she had wanted to. Except for of course, the whole hiccup called Regina.

 

Though Emma was not proud of the vitriol she spewed in the heat of the moment, she tried to console herself by reasoning that Regina had deserved all of it. What occurred in Neverland was just an unintentional miscalculation and Regina had gracefully acknowledged it to be so back then.

 

Neal had been nothing but understanding and empathetic towards Regina since they got back from Neverland. More than any of them in this town – including Henry. She felt accountable to keep Neal away from the shadows of Regina's darkness.

 

Then why was it that she had to will herself to not cry? She had been staring at the ceiling aimlessly, hoping into its expanse she could expunge the whirlpool of regret and guilt that was threatening to build within her heart. Regina's broken look – the same one she held when Emma had accused her of murdering the cricket – mirroring perhaps the state of her heart, flashed like a dozen neon lights that she knew would blend itself come the morning light. Then the mask would come on.

 

Some savior she thought, breaking an already broken woman!

 

…

 

 

Regina waited until she heard nothing but the sound of her own sobs – in her head - begging for freedom. The Evil Queen would have banished them as cruelly as she did any other form of weakness. But this Regina, who never walked away from her weaknesses anymore, leaned on her tears to keep her body from crashing into the space where traces of Emma's scent still lingered from where she had been standing before, wanting to feel some warmth but no such comfort came.

 

 

…

It was during moments like this that she always wondered if somehow her umbilical cord had never been severed from Henry. The hesitant knock on the door let her know that her son was hovering outside, eager to check up on his birth mother, even though she should've been the one tucking him in bed right now and apologizing for her less than adequate behavior. Emma being Emma though preferred to run away from her strengths. So she lay in bed until she heard his footsteps mute away and then lets her tears wash away all the million images of utterly devastated remorseful brown eyes, flashing endlessly in front of her even with shut eyes.

 

…

 

 

Emma doesn't know how long it has been since the others have gone to bed, when she finally decides to abandon the warmth of her own bed and find cold comfort at the bottom of two whiskey glasses. She seeks out her cell phone and thinks about calling up Neal, someone who was the reason why she got so broken, but is the only one who never expects her to fix anything. Not a curse, not a family, not a town and certainly not a former evil queen on a redemption path.

 

He doesn't answer and so instead she finds herself being pulled towards the direction of her other crutch - Henry. She finds him asleep on his stomach, one leg peeking out of the covers, and an arm hanging loosely down the side of the bed. She bends down and gently lifts his arm, praying that the alcohol on her breath doesn't stir him from his sleep.

 

It is however something else that does. Suddenly, a hiccup ripples through her throat and she covers her mouth with both her hands but it only ends up constricting the flexibility of her movement, magnifying the sound loud enough to wake up Henry.

 

He murmurs half asleep 'She is thinking of you'.

 

'She?' Emma questions wide eyed.

 

'Mom' he sighs, not bothering to open his eyes, as he continues 'When someone gets a hiccup out of nowhere, it means that someone who cares about you is thinking of you. Considering how we left things with mom, I'm sure it is her'

 

'Kid, someone who cares about you. Regina surely **doesn't**.' She has been avoiding me since weeks now, she thinks to herself.

 

'If she didn't Emma, then why did she magic away the cold around you at the mansion? Your leather jacket surely wouldn't have kept you that warm. You were just too angry to notice what she did for you Emma.'

 

After a pause he signaled he wasn't willing to talk any further. 'Good night'

 

'Good night kid'

 

It was as if the fog had settled out of her mind. Henry was right. Emma was so consumed with her own insecurities and bias about Regina that she failed to register how unusually cozy she felt in spite of having only the red jacket on her. Now that she actively thinks back to the evening, she remembered the faint tingle of magic that hit her when Regina had fluttered her fingers at Emma – an action Emma's angry mind had processed as the evil queen demeaning the Savior.

 

Oh, what a complete jerk she had been to Regina all evening, Emma rued. That woman was really trying hard to be the best of what she can be. Trust Emma to fuck it all up, once again.

 

Just as she is about to move out of his room, she finds the comics that Regina had gotten for Henry stacked neatly by his bedside. A smile crept up her lips. Her son was truly blessed to have a mother who didn't need an umbilical cord, to be connected to him so deeply and selflessly. Someone whose curse titled Henry's world on its axis, and yet whose devotion turned out to be his life's biggest blessing.

 

For that alone, she had to make things work with Regina. And unlike last time, this time, she wasn't going to just wait around and let things sort itself out with Regina.

 

…

 

Regina was getting ready to settle herself into her large white bed, skin still feeling prickly under the rich satin fabric of her purple nightgown. At first she wonders if she imagined the doorbell, but when a second one booms through the empty house, she is filled with dread at the thought of Hook being on the other side of her door, a drunken mess wanting to talk about the one person in the world who she'd currently rather hurl a fireball at!

 

As she gingerly steps across her foyer and very cautiously approaches her door, peeping through her keyhole, she is stunned to find that instead of summoning a fireball, her heart is more interested in indulging in acrobatics, it is leaping into her throat at the sight of a tired but still remarkably adorable blonde.

 

'Have you come to add more chapters to the book _Neal – The Hero of Heroes_ , Miss Swan?' Regina smirks offering up that fake politician's smile, as she peeps out of a half open door.

 

'Regina, I have come to apologize for my behavior earlier in the evening. I realize I was just being needlessly aggressive and petty with you tonight.'

 

'Try a complete bitch' Regina states matter-of-factly.

 

After a pregnant pause Regina speaks up again 'Where is it then dear?'

 

'Where is what Regina?'

 

'The apology, Miss Swan. Where is the apology?' Regina narrows her eyes.

 

'Huh? Oh for fuck's sake Regina, you are more bothered about the technicality of the apology, rather than with my intent?' Emma hisses.

 

'Of course dear, that is how apologies are so difficult to do. They aren't about intent but about action – baring your weakness to the other person, by acknowledging they were the ones who held the true power in that moment. That is why that one word is as hard, if not harder, than another set of three words. Because in both cases by uttering those words, you are being accountable to yourself, more than anyone else. Which is not at all easy, not even if you happen to be the mighty Savior'

 

When she sees Regina stand there defiantly, arms folded across her chest, Emma can't help but yell 'I'm Sorry. Fine? I'm Sorry Regina.'

 

She is surprised to find no emotion flicker through those eyes. Usually Emma could figure out what Regina was thinking by just looking into those brown pools. Now though, Regina nods lamely and makes a move to close the door.

 

Emma through her rather near-to-perfect reflexive action jams the door with her left boot earning a shocked gasp from the brunette.

 

'Miss Swan!'

 

'Don't do that.'

 

'Stop you from vandalizing my property Miss Swan?' Regina's tone is flat. It holds with it neither any playfulness nor any bitterness.

 

'No….Don't call me Miss Swan'

 

'Would you rather prefer Ms Fire-Gold now?' this time her voice is laced with something more than bitterness, more like jealousy and sadness. Emma realizes that Regina is once again trying to push her away.

 

'Do you always need to be such a bitch Regina?'

 

'Depends on the beast I am dealing with Miss….'

 

'No, stop. Why can't you just call me Emma? Why?' Emma protests like a two year old who is onthe edge of a major tantrum.

 

'You seem to have no problem calling him by name!'

 

'Him?'

 

'Hook. Today on the phone. Why can't you hand out the same dignity and respect to me too Regina? After all we share a son' Emma's voice trails off, her gaze locked to the floor.

 

Regina finds that her throat has suddenly gone really dry and she finds herself for the first time truly at a loss of words.

 

When the silence stretches out into a period where things start to feel a bit uncomfortable Emma for the first time looks straight into Regina's eyes. She figures the puffy eyes and the reddish streaks in them – oddly making them look more mesmerizing like the dying moments of a sunset -are a result of Emma's unforgivable tirade. The thought suddenly makes her heart clench tightly and she feels like she is going to throw up.

 

'Regina, I am going to be honest with you. Just like Henry was today.'

 

She can see the brunette tense up, but the alcohol in her system gives her the necessary fire to burn the words, that are forming in her mind, on to her tongue 'Today evening I was angry. And it wasn't because Neal wasn't going to be around; it-it-it…it was because for so many days you haven't been around. I thought ever since Neverland, things had changed and that we finally had come to an understanding for the sake of our son's happiness.'

 

Regina's heartbeat picked up the minute the words _OUR son_ tumbles out of Emma's mouth.

 

'And things were going well too. But in the past fortnight or so, I haven't been able to comprehend why you've been so distant and disinterested? At first I thought you just perhaps wanted to be alone – trust me I more than anyone can understand the need to be by yourself – but then today when I saw you with Hook, chatting away with the ease of long lost friends reuniting over a mundane chore like grocery shopping, I just couldn't contain the anger bubbling within me….'

 

'He's been far more toxic and unreliable in your life, and yet you are willing to make an effort with him and not with the woman who you have a relationship with – no matter how complicated – because we both share a son? Why have you been _neglecting_ me Regina?'

 

Regina is just standing there, staring with a kind smile helplessly into those blue-green eyes. How could she tell this adorable, stubborn, fool she wasn't neglecting her but was trying to –hopelessly – hold on to her own sanity?

 

Then it was as if Emma had caught on to that trail of thought, because she breaks eye contact for a second before peeking up from her eyelashes and nervously bites her lower lip 'Unless….'

 

'Unless what?' Regina asks with complete innocence making Emma's bravado crumble right in front of her eyes.

 

'Unless Regina you have other reasons. Reasons that will justify your actions'

 

Regina never considered Emma to be clued in enough to notice, notice the way Regina now looks at her had changed, notice the way Regina shyly smiles every time Emma looks at her, notice that there was only one other person in her lifetime she looked at, like she does Emma now, her Daniel. And therefore she feels like the ground beneath her feet had just been pulled away when Emma gets straight to the point.

 

_'Are you in love with me Regina?'_

 

There it was! So the blonde wasn't as oblivious to the world around her as Regina thought she would be. It certainly cannot be easy for Emma. The transition, from being a bail bondsman to a savior, from a loner to one with an _'obnoxious'_ family, from a vagabond to a mum. Any other person would have been too overwhelmed to notice the world around her, and yet here she was, incredibly and acutely aware of eyes that fell upon her with more love than was appropriate.

 

Did that mean she even knew Hook was in love with her? If she didn't, should Regina throw that in the hat too? Let her know that it seemed to be a 'normal' phenomenon in Storybrooke. All the evil ones were seeking redemption because they loved the Savior and wanted to be worthy of her?

 

She was so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that Emma had managed to come really close to her and had unwittingly invaded her personal space. Earnest green eyes searched fearful brown ones for the right answer. But Regina had begun to wonder should she answer with a wrong question instead?

 

When Emma let out an impatient puff Regina could smell the whiskey on her breath, and was amazed to find that she wasn't craving for alcohol too, to help steer her way through the minefield of questions brewing in the blue-green eyes, now locked with hers.

 

Maybe she should just say YES! Maybe this was the universe giving her an easy way out. Probably Emma felt something too? Even if she didn't who knows perhaps she would actually give it a conscious thought with Regina's confession? After all it made total sense, didn't it? The Savior was meant to break the curse and save everyone, who needed more saving than the Evil Queen herself? If only Emma heard the reasons why Regina had fallen in love with her, she could for all you know relate to how alike they are and how they both HAD to be each other's happy ending.

 

Abandoning her inner monologue Regina nervously reached out to play with her necklace, as if biding time to choose the perfect set of words.

 

'I..umm…I do…I mean…' Regina stuttered. Ok, no she needed some alcohol if she was really going to do this.

 

Somehow in the reflection of the moonlight, Emma looked so much younger and smaller than she normally does. Regina was suddenly reminded of a young Snow. The Snow she helped rescue and whom she loved as a friend. The Snow who attended to her wounds in the forest- the voice echoed in her head ' I take it back. It is too late for her. I could never forgive her. There is no good in that woman. I was wrong. There never was any good in her.' She wondered what kind of conflict would Regina's presence in Emma's life birth between mother and daughter. They've spent enough years apart...

  
  
  
She thought of Neal and how in spite of his actions in the past - a record better than hers no doubt - that had hurt Emma (beyond healing perhaps), he had been nothing but perfect ever since. Emma's defense of him only proved a much larger point - now that she completely forgiven him, in time she would learn to completely let him in too.

 

She thought of Henry and what this would mean for him. How much he cherished the normal life after a period of 11 long years, and how he christened sand castles at the beach, a twig tracing out 'Emma & Neal's' and not 'Emma and Regina's'.

 

But more than anyone else, she thought of Emma. How it wouldn't be fair, as much as it would be cowardly, to thrust upon her this burden of alternatives. To willfully make her look at Regina in a different light, something true love would have already made her do. She worried if perhaps, the blonde being the ever insufferable good hearted soul, would take pity on Regina and say Yes?

 

For the first time in 11 years, Emma had found her place in the universe, one that she should have long before drawn rainbows in, and now Regina was trying to destroy that happy beginning all over again?

 

Love was strength; Regina learned that the day at the mines when they created magic together to save the entire town. It was the day she knew without a doubt that Emma was the missing half of her heart. Yet, she wondered what good Emma would get from loving someone who had reduced so many lives to a fate worth than any curse. Emma deserved someone worthy of her pure heart and that someone wasn't her.

 

Depends on who you'd ask some might say what Regina decided ought to be done would either be considered insanely brave or ridiculously foolish. But in Regina's eyes it meant only one thing – being selfless. If you loved someone you would never be selfish enough to hold them back, when you know that letting them go would lead them to a life where the conflict of 'Did I make the right decision' would not arise every other day.

 

Emma's eyes were gazing softly at Regina with compassion and a little bit of something more, which Regina was too frazzled to decipher. 'You have sort of guessed correctly my dear. But presuming that I've fallen in love with you is highly arrogant even by Savior standards.'

 

Regina immediately saw Emma's body slump and her cheeks flush red with utter embarrassment.

 

'Reg..Regina..I..I'm so…'

 

'Ssshhh let me finish dear' she held a finger to a lip and then turned away from Emma, so that her eyes would not betray her true emotions.

 

' I said you had sort of guessed it correctly. I was avoiding you Miss Swan, but that was only because I had begin to grow rather fond of you, with all the time we spent together in Neverland in search of Henry, and I thought all my actions would be misinterpreted for something more sinister, as the case has always been. Of course, as I see now, only it was a totally different kind of misinterpretation that occurred'

 

She turned back at Emma, but not before she had quickly wiped away some of the rebelling tears that had escaped her eyes, to find her let out a huge sigh of relief.

 

'Fuck Regina, you have no idea how much I've wanted to admit that aloud to someone. As crazy as it sounds, I did enjoy our time together too, and I honestly admit you are one heck of a woman when you are not busy plotting to kill someone or blow up an entire town.'

 

Regina unconsciously winced, which made Emma bury her face in both her palms.

 

'Oh God, I didn't mean it like that. Tell me you're not thinking about hurling a fireball at me' she peeked out from the space in between her fingers.

 

'It had occurred to me actually Miss Swan' Regina playfully narrowed her eyes, thinking over to the time the blonde was at her doorstep. Gosh, so much had happened in such a short time.

 

'Emma'

 

'Hmmmmm'

 

Regina looked over to see Emma flash her a grateful smile

 

'Emma, Regina. If we are going to be friends, then surely you need to start out by dropping the Miss Swan'.

 

'There you go again, presuming we are going to be friends. I never suggested a friendship dear. I merely said I enjoyed the time we spent together.'

 

'Which is why I think we'll make great friends. You shall always deny your true feelings and I shall always presume I am correct until proven wrong. Right now Regina, you still have to be prove that I am wrong'

 

'So how about lunch tomorrow at Granny's? My treat. I promise I'll let you order for the both of us.'

 

Regina considered saying No for a moment, but then she figured if the only way she was going to have Emma in her life, was by being a friend, she was more than desperate to oblige. She laughed at how Cora would have squirmed in disgust seeing Regina wholeheartedly grab any crumbs of attention the Savior was throwing her way.

 

'Well then, I better get back home. Also, if you need any sword lessons, now that we are friends, I could teach you. I'm way better than that lousy excuse for a pirate Hook. Besides you are testament to my prowess when it comes to slaying dragons and what not' Emma winked mischievously.

 

She awkwardly held her hand out to Regina, who for some reason couldn't figure out what the blonde was trying to do and instead ended up waving goodbye by fluttering her fingers in a very endearing but abrupt way.

 

Emma waved back quite boisterously and just as she had reached halfway to the gate, Regina's previous moments flickered into mind. She swung around so excitedly, it almost made Regina jump 'Thank you' she yelled, even though there was no need to.

 

At Regina's confused stare she continued 'for keeping me warm tonight'. She then proceeded to imitate the same motion as Regina, smiling widely when she caught surprise in the otherwise veiled Mayor's eyes.

 

Even though Regina was falling apart, she stitched herself up with the warmest smile Emma had ever offered her, and watched until the blonde disappeared into the anonymity of what would always go down as an otherwise famous night.

 

A night when Regina had decided it was time for them to start writing their own endings.

 

'Good night **Emma** ' hummed into the silence of the night, as she closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit too long, but then I thought the first attempt at an honest conversation between Regina and Emma would require more words than perhaps even necessary :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has liked the story. I appreciate you all.


	5. Bittersweet

Sometimes she wished that she didn’t let herself be swayed by her emotions for Emma Swan and agree to this ridiculous arrangement of being ‘friends’. At first just the thought of having the blonde in her life, in the minutest of capacities, seemed a very appealing prospect, but now that enthusiasm had ebbed away, steadily, much like the novelty of a shiny new toy for a young child.

 

 

They had been friends for almost 3 weeks now. Ever since the conversation that night on her doorstep, when Emma was thrilled and so relieved by Regina’s declaration that she didn’t actually love her after all. But Regina didn’t realize that her cowardice of denial would be more strangulating than the bravery of her own acceptance.

 

 

The problem with their arrangement, wasn’t that Regina wasn’t enjoying the hours that she spent with Emma under the guise of  _‘for Henry’_ , but that she was getting addicted to the luxury of  spending so much time together as a family ‘ _with Henry’_.

 

 

Considering her history with magic, she knew that her threshold for any kind of addiction was very low, and that a point would come when nothing would seem to suffice other than having Emma **completely** – the way _she_ wanted her.

 

 

It was why she had chosen to have a quiet meal with Hook at Granny’s today, over the family picnic that Emma had proposed last night over their usual dinner. Now it was more of a common ritual- Emma and Henry would come over to the mansion and have their dinner. On weekends, they’d all sit and watch a movie – which Henry picked up- or sometimes play board games, games which Regina always LET Emma win, because somehow still she always felt Henry’s eyes lit up with the Savior vanquishing the Evil Queen, no matter how small or inconsequential the battlefield.

 

 

Times like these, she could feel a certain sort of resentment pool in her chest for Emma, the same Emma that she now loved, probably as much as she loved Daniel. But when she was always made to feel ‘ _second’_ in the eyes of the one person she has loved more than anyone else in the world, she couldn’t help but sigh at how she wished she too was a product of true love.

 

 

It would then by default have given her a free pass over things that she perhaps didn’t really even deserve – like the undying love and devotion of an eleven year old boy, whose world spun around someone else for 10 long years and dissolved, with the passing of a minute on the tower clock.

 

 

She wondered would her love for Emma end up being as warped as Henry’s idea of good and bad. Would she wake up a few months from now, not feeling like her whole heart was going to explode with the loneliness and yearning she felt for a certain blonde now?

  
Her reverie was broken with chiming of the bells at the diner, signaling the arrival of her lunch date.

  
  
A very quick glance at Hook and she knew he wasn’t his usual chirpy self today. A thoughtful and somber Hook was ten times more obnoxious than a vulgar, condescending regular pirate, because surprisingly it resulted in meaningful insights and practical truths spouting out of his mouth with effortless ease like that of a Buddhist monk.

 

As he took his long strides towards her table, his large black leather overcoat flapping behind him with a grace of its own, Regina noticed that even his kohl rimmed eyes couldn’t conceal the paleness of his spirit and how that mischievous glint that danced around its edges, was now dulled with resignation and pain.

 

 

She felt her heart jump with a little guilt as well as sadness, for she knew that unlike her, he didn’t even have the morsels of friendship which he could use to feed the ever growing hunger for something – no matter how small – **real** with the one woman they both had come to love.

 

 

After a very long period in her life she began to actually consider the fact that, the space in her heart which was completely barren and numb, had begun to sprout seeds of compassion and kindness for others, something that only friendship nurtures. It was why she was insanely grateful, that she had found that comradeship with Hook.

 

 

Someone who even though aided others in the physical torture of her body preserved the sanity of her mind by revealing honestly how fragile his own heart was too.

 

 

‘What, no Savior to play slave to today?’ he spoke raising an eyebrow, as he plopped himself heavily down next to her.

 

 

From the corner of her eyes, Regina could see Granny eyeing their booth suspiciously as was Red, who was walking up towards them to take an order, a small smile creeping up around the corners of her mouth.

 

 

Before Regina could ask Hook to take a seat opposite her, Ruby butted in while trying to suppress a cheeky grin ‘So, what can I get you?

 

 

‘Same as your…..girlfriend?’ She drawled the last word out, earning her a raised eyebrow from Hook.

 

 

Regina who was toying with her fork, spinning it with careless abandon in her chicken salad, shot her head up so instantly, it felt like her neck was about to snap.

 

 

‘Excuse me?’ she let out a low growl.

 

 

Hook however seemed unperturbed now and very lazily just nodded and asked for a chocolate milkshake to accompany his salad too. He suddenly felt a change of heart and turned to call out to Ruby from across his shoulder, but felt a set of nails dig sharply into his arms….

 

 

‘Aaah!…what the hell was that for’ he winced as he kept on rubbing over the faint pink crescent shaped indentations that had embossed on his pale white skin.

 

 

‘What have you been telling people? How dare you insinuate that I am your girlfriend?’

 

 

Even though she kept her voice low, it still held a menacing tone to it.

 

 

‘Relax love. I haven’t any desire to be Hooked to the Queen. Not especially when the Queen fancies her Knight so bloody much. But it is nobody’s god damn business is it?

 

 

She can see the playfulness in his eyes and knows that he is telling the truth, but yet she continues to let Ruby’s words be an irritant ‘That doesn’t mean you let the silence speak for itself. I don’t want people thinking that we…we are…’

 

 

‘Lovers? Would that be really so bad Regina?’

 

 

‘What?!?!’

 

 

He is still staring at her with a strange kind of mild fury bubbling beneath his dark eyes. A fury meant to be directed at somebody else and one that is born out of the need to feel in control.

 

 

A look she has often seen her own mirror reflect back to her.

 

 

Fury that she knows beneath whose surface is rumbling something far more dangerous, begging to be let out.

 

 

‘Why because I am not good enough for you? Now that the Evil Queen has found her way to redemption, only the light can sustain her heart? Those with the darkness must be exiled into the outskirts of her mighty kingdom? You of all the people are going to keep judging me over my past than what I truly am trying to be **now**?’

 

 

She is not sure why he is even debating a silly non-existent issue like this. After all they both know where they stand when it comes to the treacherous matters of their daydreams. But she knows that her uncertainty over whatever was transpiring between them was currently painted all across her face, because when Hook spoke next he seemed calmer and put together.

 

 

‘Look Regina, you know how the world is, the minute they see a man and a woman together, they presume the two have to be banging each other. I just thought the best approach was to ignore the idle chitchat of these townsfolk and let the rumor just die its own natural death. Rebutting the claims would only add more spark to the fire.’

 

 

Obviously he makes sense. This is why she hates the somber Hook, because she admits to truths that she otherwise would brush off with a lie.

 

 

But she wasn’t about to openly say so.

 

 

 It is why she playfully jabs her elbow into the side of his chest, acknowledging that his approach was better and fair.

 

 

He feigns to be in pain and then chuckles ‘besides, for people as attractive as us, the gossip was just inevitable’.

 

 

They both burst into a fit of spontaneous laughter loud enough for the entire diner to look their way.

 

 

Regina realizing that they were drawing all the curious looks and glances towards their table, tugs at his sleeve and then sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair.

 

 

‘I heard Leroy is spear heading a betting rackets of sorts in town about true loves ending up with their fairytales. The current hot bet is how long before I rename my ship the Hooked Queen’

 

 

Sensing her confusion he continues ‘As in Brangelina, love? Hooked Queen that is the name they’ve set for our coupling.’

 

 

‘How ridiculous! Sounds like a rather pathetic low budget strip club. Of course such a senseless thing must come from one of Snow White’s loyalists only. The level of idiocy is befitting!’

 

 

He says nothing but just shrugs ‘I don’t know. I think it is fun. I personally ship Captain Swan’

 

 

It earns him an eye roll but then again they both burst into a fit of laughter.

 

 

‘Oh love, better than Swan Queen at least. Your coupling just sounds so very gay!’

 

 

She smiles to herself thinking how that is obviously the point. But she is relieved to see the glint is back in his eyes now and so lets it pass

 

‘Wait, people are betting on us too?’ that would be really strange because she is fairly certain apart from Hook nobody knows how she feels for the Savior. Well at least that is what she had hoped.

 

 

‘No, it was just what I came up with. Besides, why would anyone? Isn’t it weird, I mean aren’t you like her step-grandmother or something?’

 

 

She doesn’t know why but her heart suddenly thuds in her chest. A wave of disappointment washes over her. It wasn’t like she expected people of the town to even remotely consider the option, but she thought about how predictable this world was.

 

 

How automatically it would pair a man and woman together. How incredibly difficult it would be for them both, if ever the Savior would have felt the same for her too. Perhaps it was better that Emma felt nothing for her. She wouldn’t have to navigate this judgmental and prejudiced world, when love with Neal was saving her at least that misery.

 

 

A sly look and wink from Ruby as she sets Hook’s order on their table reaffirmed her doubts and fears.

 

 

‘Well my dear, aren’t you too her step-grandfather then by that definition. I mean you are chasing the woman, who is with the man, who you wanted to adopt as a boy, because you were/are madly in love with his mother?’

 

 

He grunts and then smiles raising his hook at her, as if he wants to indicate that yet again she has got him hook, line and sinker.

 

 

She switches her gaze towards Ruby who flashes a brief look of desire at Hook. Something about the way her eyes fluttered quickly as she brushed her arm slightly across his before walking away made Regina wonder if there was something in the water of this town that ends up people wanting those that they cannot have?

 

 

 

‘But why is it Captain Swan and not Hooked Swan?’ she asks rather suddenly, as Hook is busy gulping down the chocolate milkshake and like Regina absentmindedly toying around with his fork in the salad.

 

 

 

‘Because I love her, Majesty. Captain Swan doesn’t sound cheap, does it?’ he says in a soft voice, eyes squared on the salad in front of them.

 

 

She reaches out and gives his arm a tight squeeze, hoping that he’d find a sense of solidarity in her touch. Know that she understand the pain that he is in now, but a pain that she is certain will not fuel hate and anger within either of them this time.

 

 

Her thoughts stray to what Neal and Emma must be known as? SwanBael? Nemma?

 

 

 

She wants to ask Hook, wonder if at least they can have a victory over Neal, in these silly games about true love. Take solace that even though Neal could have Emma forever, he couldn’t have everything connected to her.

 

 

 

‘ _SwanFire_ ’

 

 

He is looking at her from the corner of his eyes, already sensing where her thoughts had wandered. Swirling the straw in the cup he scoffs ‘Bastard, even has the best name of us all!’

 

 

‘Why Captain, I think SwanThief suits them better. Don’t you think?’ she grins wickedly.

 

 

 

After a beat of silence, both of them begun to guffaw, the force of that laughter bumping their shoulders against each other in the process.

 

 

Hook is the one who stops first as if he was suddenly struck by some profound realization.

 

 

 

‘Well my love, actually that is very apt! He was the one who managed to **steal** her heart no?’

 

 

 

This is why she prefers a drunk Hook. At least he is no joy kill.

 

 

 

She wonders if when it came to Emma, she could ever have something that Neal couldn’t claim victory over.

 

 

 

The chiming of the bells in the diner, followed by the sound of her son screaming out for her runs in tandem with Hook muttering under his breath ‘Speak of the devil..(s)….’ causing Regina to look straight up into the pair of green eyes, whose gaze is fixed upon her own brown ones.

 

 

 

‘Mom’ he comes running to their table and plunks himself into the seat opposite them.

 

 

 

‘Hello there young man. Fancy learning a sword trick or two this glorious Sunday afternoon?’

 

 

 

Regina isn’t quite sure what to make out of Hook’s fatherly tone, but the frown on her son’s face lets her know that he isn’t amused.

 

 

 

‘Nope. Thanks. My grandpa is the best with the sword and he has already been teaching me some cool tricks.’

 

 

 

Not the one to be deterred easily, tapping his hook on the table he wiggles his eyebrows ‘What about some sailing lessons then? I have a beautiful ship that you can captain.’

 

 

 

‘I’d rather have my father teach me. We did it once together and he is awesome!’

 

 

 

Regina knows Hook was being earnest with Henry there. That he genuinely was fond of the boy, not because Henry was the son of the woman he loved and those emotions automatically bring out an urge of fatherly affection, but because in him he perhaps saw small traces of the first woman he truly ever loved –Milah- and wanted to raise a son with.

 

 

 

Before Regina can admonish Henry for being unnecessarily rude to Hook, Henry reaches out and tugs at her sleeves ‘Mom why didn’t you come with us for the picnic today? It was a family picnic’.

 

 

 

 

His voice is full of hurt and frustration, and Regina realizes that is the true source of where his hostility towards Hook springs from.

 

 

 

 

She suddenly feels like she is about to tear up, because there was a time when he would just leave her all by herself and be happy to be with the Charmings. A time when he didn’t miss her presence at dinners or birthdays. Now to hear him voice his need for her, his voice laced with irritation, a part of her feels very guilty that she is feeling joyful about seeing her unhappy son without her.

 

 

‘So, why didn’t you come?’ Henry impatiently tugs at her sleeves once again, while throwing a very suspicious look towards Hook and her.

 

‘Henry…’

 

 

‘Because she has fun things to do with other people kid, rather than join us for a boring picnic’

 

 

Regina looks up to find Emma and the rest of the gang standing beside their table, exchanging amusing looks amongst themselves.

 

 

Except Emma.

 

 

Instead her face holds the same frustration as her son. Regina is honestly taken aback to see that her eyebrows are crooked together and she seems to be clenching her jaw rather tightly, as if in an effort to not let fire breathe out from that open mouth. Funny, if it were not for the blonde locks flowing loosely across Emma’s shoulders, Regina could have sworn she and Hook were going to be attacked by a magnificent dragon.

 

 

 

‘Hello love, fancy a cup of coffee?’ Hook turns his body away from Regina, looking giddily at Emma.

 

 

It earns him an eye roll not only from Emma but also from Snow. Charming seems to step in right, ready to hook a punch and it is only Emma’s hold on his forearm that stops any sort of ugly drama from spilling into an otherwise perfect Sunday.

 

 

‘Hook, man you’ve got some ravenous appetite for coffee I’d say. Just minutes ago you seemed to be brewing something entirely intoxicating with the Evil Queen’ Neal instantly mutters from somewhere next to Snow.

 

 

So, all of them had been watching her and Hook through the window from across their both, Regina’s mind makes a mental note of it, for reasons she will ponder over later. That still didn’t explain why Emma seems irritated and edgy.

 

 

 

‘Huh, mate? You ought to breathe in more Baelfire’. Hook then turns towards Henry and with a playful glint winks ‘If he captains your ship with that much of mumbling, you’d be sinking faster than the Titanic Henry’.

 

 

Regina tries her best to control the laughter that is begging to burst through her throat, but one glance at Emma and she instead opts to bite her lower lip, hard enough that she begins to taste the metallic taste of blood against her tongue.

 

 

‘Also, I have a ravenous appetite for things that are as addictive as coffee.’ Hook turns to look at Emma wiggling both his eyebrows, and Regina can’t help but inwardly sigh at his vile attempts at flirting. If only he was more of the Hook that he had been moments earlier, he would have a chance at some semblance of an earnest emotional equation with Emma.

 

 

‘Hook, I suggest you better walk away before I show you the kind of addiction I feel for your jaws’ Charming growls like any protective father would.

 

 

Much to Regina’s surprise and if she were being totally honest uncanny discomfort, Hook leans across and kisses her cheeks lightly ‘Until tonight then. All the good is beginning to suffocate me, as it is.’

 

 

With that he stands up and Regina can see his eyes only seeking out Emma’s, who looks at him for a brief second and then immediately reverts her eyes back at Regina.

 

 

‘Honey, I’ll order your favorite hot chocolate with a dash of cinnamon. Why don’t you get Henry over after…’ Neal’s voice trails and he motions Snow and Charming to follow him.

 

 

He places a soft kiss by Emma’s temple as he leaves and Emma closes her eyes and hums an affirmation.

 

 

A stab of pain coils around Regina’s heart and she envies Hook who has already left the diner, and didn’t have to witness Neal’s lips on any part of Emma’s skin.

 

 

Emma is still standing right where she always was, glaring at Regina as if Regina had been plotting to bring down Storybrooke with Hook rather than just enjoying a simple meal. Her son too as stubbornly as his birth mother had the same annoyed expression plastered across his face.

 

 

‘What?’ Regina spat out. ‘When did it become a crime in Storybrooke to share a meal with a harmless pirate?’

 

 

That earns her an even more furious grunt from Emma.

 

  
Henry though softens his gaze at her and speaks every bit like the 11 year old that he never acts like, but Regina always wishes that he would ‘Mom, it isn’t about you eating with Hook. It is about you NOT eating with us.’

 

 

Immediately she can see Emma’s body language ease up too. She has now removed her hands that were tucked in her pocket and sits by Henry’s side in the booth.

 

 

She wraps her arm around Henry’s shoulder ‘Kid, for the past few weeks Regina has been spending all her free time with us. She deserves a break from us once a while don’t you think?’ the index finger of her left hand motioning frantically between Regina and them.

 

 

‘But Emma, I thought this is what Mom always wanted. A family? Me?’ Henry blurts with his brown eyes holding in them such innocence and confusion, it almost breaks Regina’s heart out of guilt.

 

  
  
If there was anything that she had prided herself on, then it had been how good a mother she was to her son. How she always put him first! But for once she had failed. She chose her own happiness over his. This picnic wasn’t about Emma and her, but it was about Henry and them. Henry wanted her there and she should have gone. Instead she let her cowardly heart talk herself out of it.

 

 

Her eyes are filled with tears threatening to spill out ‘Henry, I’m sorry. I didn’t think how important this picnic was to you as a family. I..I…wanted to come. I just thought perhaps you wanted some alone time with your parents and…’

 

‘You are my parent too Mom.’ Henry cuts her off

 

 

Regina nods and reaches out to squeeze his arm that is resting next to the ketchup bottle.

 

 

‘I promise I shall make this up to you dear. How about a family picnic next Sunday? I’ll cook all your favorites too. And later we can come to Granny for some ice-cream?’

 

 

His eyes are already lit up and he nods enthusiastically. They both turn to look at Emma who still seems distant but less angry.

 

 

‘Can’t make any promises Regina. Neal has plans of a Batman marathon….’

 

‘I’ve seen them all Emma. I’m sure we can skip that to another time.’

 

 

Regina smiles at how eager Henry seems to spend time with her. There was a time when he would call her to meet at Granny’s only because he wanted to distract her from her crypt.

 

 

‘Why don’t we keep it on Saturday then?’

 

 

Regina is willing to be flexible with her plans. She thinks about a time when she was the Evil Queen and there was no negotiation over anything she wanted to do or not do.

 

 

‘No. Saturday Neal and I are having lunch with Rumple and Belle’ Emma’s firm tone indicates that there can be no change in this particular schedule.

 

 

Then as an after thought adds, ‘Besides, I don’t think two picnics in a row is a rather enticing concept to spend your weekend either Henry. We’d get really bored…’

 

 

Regina claims to hold no super power like Emma, but even she can figure that Emma is just being difficult and hostile, like she had been 3 weeks ago.

 

 

‘Fine!! Just forget it. Why don’t you and I just meet up for ice-cream and dinner this Sunday then?’

 

 

She is entirely focused on Henry and when he nods, without waiting for a reaction from Emma, grabs for her black trench coat that is lying next to her seat and gets up.

 

 

‘Until next Sunday then, I’m so looking forward to spending time with you dear.’

 

 

Henry impatiently nudges Emma to move so that he too can jump out of the booth and hug his mom in an embrace so tight that it chokes the air out of Regina’s throat for a few seconds.

 

 

‘Goodbye Henry’

 

 

Regina places a lingering kiss over the top of his head and then without even a slight glance at Emma, walks away from the booth, the clicking of her heels against the floor, muting the sounds of Emma huffing in the background.

 

 

…………………………………………………..

 

 

 

It has been a good three hours since the run in with Regina and Hook at the diner, and yet Emma feels like she is holding back a loud scream that is threatening to tear away from her lungs now. The fact that the rest of her family is oblivious to her situation is not making it any easier.

 

 

They are sitting in the living room – Neal and her father making hot chocolate for everyone, while Snow is across the counter smiling at her husband, like she only just met him.

 

 

If it weren’t her parents, perhaps it wouldn’t annoy Emma as much as it does now, their this incessant need to always be around each other, want each other, talk to each other.

 

 

It puts added pressure on her delicate relationship with Neal, because Snow believes Neal is just as perfect for Emma, as Charming is for her. But Emma doesn’t really feel the same intensity of love flowing through her veins for Neal and she just wishes her mother would realize that not all true loves have to behave in the exact same way.

 

 Sometimes she reasons a large part of it could be due to the fact that she didn’t have an ideal childhood or a secure carefree youth, and the issues of abandonment and unworthiness that have been a constant anchor in her life, are part of the reason why she can never see herself willing to rely on Neal for braving through the storms of life.

 

To be honest ever since she got back from Neverland, all she wanted to really do was run away back to Boston. Just spend a few quiet days by herself. Not be anybody’s savior or mother or daughter or girlfriend or friend. But ever since she got into this cursed town, she can’t remember a time when she was just herself for a day – just Emma Swan.

 

 

She hates how she wants to take a break from Henry too at times. Because she knows motherhood doesn’t offer you such escapes. It isn’t like you can decide to not be a mommy for a day.

 

  
Her thoughts again race back to Henry’s other mother. The one woman who would probably gladly exchange places with her to always have Henry constantly by her side. A woman who she thinks raised Henry all by herself for 10 years, and how hard it must have been for her.

 

 

She thinks about her first few days in Storybrooke and how she didn’t believe Regina when she said that she truly loved Henry. It is what made Emma want to stay back, leading to all the conflict between them. She wonders why she couldn’t see it then. How Regina was obviously going to be hostile and feel threatened.

 

 

Legally Emma had no right on her son, and yet she did the unethical thing of getting involved in the life of a child who she gave up 10 years ago. She had wanted to find him a good mother and luckily he had in Regina. But perhaps sometimes things happen for the better.

 

 

Now Henry has both of his mothers, his entire family by his side as he grows older. He is much happier now than he would have ever been had she not broken the curse she justifies.

 

 

She turns to look at her son, sitting on his bed, reading a book about the Solar System and looking anything but happy. There is a conflict that is coloring itself across his face, like the paintbrush of an artist who is trying to mix the dark with the light, trying to blend it all. Henry too is fighting hard to contain his irritation, but every time he steals a glance at Emma, the bubbles of anger rise back to the surface and he buries his head deeper into the book.

 

 

Emma knows why. She knows his ire is directed at her. About how she reacted to Regina’s peace offering at the diner a few hours ago. But she deserved it. Regina cannot treat them like they’re the outsiders. Family sticks to plans. Not cancel it over some happy giggly lunch times with a pirate!

 

 

She moves towards the bedroom and can see Neal’s eyes follow her. Inwardly she hopes that he isn’t going to be following her, yet again, whenever he senses that something is bothering her. She knows that is what people who love each other do, but she just hopes for once Neal doesn’t be his usual ‘Charming’ self.

 

 

Henry doesn’t acknowledge her presence in the room. In fact he pretends to be deeply immersed in whatever fascinating secrets of the Universe were unfolding in the pages of his book.

 

 

‘Henry…’

 

 

Silence.

 

Followed by the turn of a page.

 

 

‘Henry, c’mon stop being difficult.’ she pleads.

 

 

It earns her an eye roll and a twitch of his nose. At that moment all Emma can think about is Regina. He looks just like his mother’s son.

 

 

Unknown to her a smile creeps up on her face and she can see Henry’s confused gaze peak at her through his book.

 

 

She walks over to his bed, sitting next to him and for a beat or two hesitates before she tugs at the book held tightly in his hands. ‘C’mon Henry, please….’

 

 

Her soft, pleading voice makes him turn his head and look up at her through his eyelashes, ‘No Emma, I’m not the one who is being difficult. You are!’

 

 

‘Me?’ there is genuine surprise in her voice.

 

 

‘Yes, back at the diner. The way you treated Mom’ he sets his book aside and looks at her with his big dark eyes not hiding his disappointment.

 

 

‘The way I treated Regina? What about what she did to you? Henry, she chose to spend time with Hook rather than you! How is that not bothering you?’

 

 

‘Of course I felt bad. Emma she wanted to spend time with Hook rather than ME for just one day in the WHOLE week! I suppose that is OK too, is it not?’

 

 

He climbs out of his bed and stands right in front of her ‘It is not like I am not spending time away from her either.’

 

 

‘Exactly!’ Emma says throwing her palms out ‘As it is, YOU spend so much time away from her. So when YOU get one Sunday away from school, other duties and god knows what else things YOU have to do, shouldn’t she choose YOU over some stranger?’

 

‘Hook is not exactly a stranger Emma. He and Mom have actually known each other since years, have they not?.’

 

 

‘Right kid, now is the time to go all technical in an argument’ she scoffs.

 

 

‘No, what I mean is, I understand. Hook is now a friend to her. After you all saved me in Neverland, we’re all back to our routine. Mom though…’ he pauses and his eyes flicker with guilt and sadness…’she still had to go back to that big empty house. She must have found it hard to be back all alone by herself no? Hook too must have felt the same. They have no friends in Storybrooke. So I think I understand how they must have bonded over their loneliness Emma. Have you not seen it? Mom is no longer sad Emma. She has a friend in Storybrooke’

 

 

It earns Henry two raised eyebrows and a grumpy sigh.

 

 

 ‘Well I’m her friend too….’ Emma sulks.

 

 

She says it so softly that she is glad Henry didn’t catch it

 

 

‘If she wants to spend one Sunday with her friend she is allowed. You always meet Ruby and Belle for drinks on a Saturday night. I go to Tom’s home to play videogames in the evenings. So Mom shouldn’t be made to feel bad about wanting to have lunch with her friend!’

 

 

She looks at her son and wonders how he got so sensible. It obviously didn’t come from her and neither from Neal. No matter what stories people have about a homicidal Evil Queen, Emma thinks she has some damn good stories about how wonderful a mother she is!

 

‘I’m sorry Henry. I know I fuc…overreacted once again. I just wanted the day to be perfect for you.’ She reached out for his hand and pulled him towards her. He smiled and sat next to her, placing his head on her shoulder.

 

‘Besides, I should be the one who must be upset with mom. Like you said, she chose Hook over me. Why are you so upset? In fact you got to steal some private romantic time with Dad today because of that.’

 

 

He looks up at her with a mischievous smile and Emma immediately feels deflated. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind during the picnic. All she could think of was why Regina had cancelled at the last minute. Her mind was too pre-occupied worrying if Regina had suddenly fall sick – flu or perhaps she twisted her ankle in those ridiculous high heels of hers?

 

 

So when she finally saw Hook and Regina laughing and sharing a wonderful time through the window, she felt foolish and …and something else. Something that she didn’t have the time to even consider because Snow and Neal were already talking about how “ **this”** was inevitable.

 

 

‘ **This**?’…….she remembers being caught up with what they meant by ‘ _this’_. Surely, if Regina was dating Hook she would let Emma know. Now that they were friends….But why was the idea of Regina being with Hook making her feel….feel so disheartened?

 

 

‘Ma..’

 

She was broken from her reverie by the gentle poking of Henry’s fingers into her ribs.  
‘Huh…yeah kid…’

 

 

‘What were you thinking? I said, you should call up Mom and apologize. You were really mean to her…’

 

‘Yes, I guess I should…

 

 

She reaches out for her phone in her pocket and scrolls through a couple of numbers until the screen reads _‘Black Hole’_. The way Regina had antagonized her – and sometimes still does – Emma had thought the name befitting back then. She had been meaning to change the entry, but never came around to doing it.

 

 

After a long calming breath she hits the dial button.

 

 

The phone rings out.

 

  
  
Redial

 

  
Yet again it just rings out.

 

 

‘I’ll try again later kid.’

 

 

The call from Neal for steaming cups of hot chocolate result in simultaneous sighs from the both of them

 

 ....................................

 

After the 15th time of trying to call Regina and sending 20 texts with no response coming from the older woman, Emma decided the only way to get through the stubborn older woman was to pay her a visit. She deflected the curious glances coming from her parents, when she announced some sudden work had come up at the Sheriff’s office.

 

 

Neal offered to drive her, but she managed to convince him into staying with Henry, who knew what she was really up to considering he mouthed ‘I love you’, as she grabbed the keys to her bug and walked away.

 

 

Now that she found herself standing right outside Regina’s mansion, she couldn’t seem to find the courage to ring the bell. She had spent the best part of the last 10 minutes debating what the best strategy was to get in.

 

 

After all Regina was avoiding her calls, so most probably she wouldn’t let her in either. She wondered whether Regina would throw her off her pathway, like she had done during the whole Archie debacle, or if she would just hurl a fireball her way if Emma would have to scale the wall to break in and enter.

 

 

Absent mindedly she rang the door and much to her surprise, Regina answered the door as if she was expecting Emma to be there.

 

 

However one look at the surprise etched on the older woman’s face and Emma’s stomach fell – who was she expecting at this time?

 

 

‘Miss SWAN?!’

 

 

The brief look of surprise had been firmly tucked away under the mayoral mask of indifference. Her tone although annoyed didn’t seem threatening and oddly held a familiar warmth to it.

 

 

Emma couldn’t help but roll her eyes ‘Oh God, not again Regina. For the last fucking time. E-M-M-A’ She rolled each alphabet of her name out of her mouth slowly, and then watched as an amused smile ran crept up on Regina’s face.

 

 

Green eyes filled with annoyance locked with playful brown ones.

 

 

‘I thought Miss Swan, you told me that I needed to call you Emma only if we were friends. The woman today at the diner was certainly not my Em…friend who I’ve known for the past few weeks. She was the Savior who came walking into StoryBrooke last year –a woman I don’t really know that well.’

 

 

Emma’s shoulders slumped and guilt washed all over her face. She knew she had no explanation to offer for her behavior earlier, so instead she just averted her gaze from those brown eyes that held so many questions in them.

 

 

They stood like that for a minute and then suddenly Emma felt Regina back away to close the door to House no 108. In a flash she brought both her palms across the door and pushed her weight into it.

 

 

‘Wait, Regina! I came here to apologize. I know I was a complete bitch this afternoon.’

 

 

Regina pursed her lips and then took a step forward into Emma’s personal space

 

 

‘Where is it then dear?’

 

 

‘Where is what Regina?’

 

 

Regina fakes an outraged look and then tilts her chin up, keeping her voice low and playful ‘The apology Miss Swaaaaan’ She purposely draws out the last word as her eyes glint with a naughtiness that Emma finds both endearing and breath taking.

 

 

‘You can take the Queen out of the Evil, but never the Evil out of the Queen’.

 

 

‘You can take the Charming out of the idiot, but never the Idiot out of the Charming.'

 

 

Emma feigns that she is in pain by clutching at her heart and then smiles at the two brown eyes dancing with amusement; already bearing testimony to the fact that Emma was forgiven.

 

 

‘ Regina, I really am sorry. I don’t know why I always end up acting like an idiot.’

 

 

‘Can’t fault you for your genes, Can I?’

 

 

They both pause before smiling once again at each other.

 

 

‘Why don’t you come in?’ Regina stepped aside leaving the door wide open.

 

 

‘No, I think I need to get going. I just left abruptly and it is almost time for dinner. Snow must already be fussing over my whereabouts. Between David and Neal I don’t know who is more smothering….’

 

 

‘They care about you Emma. It is only natural’

 

 

Although they’ve now been friends for a few weeks, and Regina has never in that period dug up the ghosts of resentment, hearing her defend the people she hated once upon a time, still is very new and hence Emma stands there gaping at Regina in wonder.

 

 

‘What?’ Regina eyes her curiously.

 

 

‘I can’t believe you are defending ‘them’! I thought you’d have liked to indulge in a bitch fest against Snow White’

 

 

Regina shrugs her shoulders, and then suddenly very conscious about Emma’s gaze on her, turns to look into the distance.

 

 

‘I would be concerned too’

 

 

The voice is so low that Emma had to strain herself to catch them before they disappeared into the night.

 

 

‘Concerned for me or about me?’

 

 

Regina’s brown eyes are back on her ‘Is there a difference?’

 

 

Emma nods her head slowly ‘I think with them, it is always about their fears of how I’m the Savior and so naturally something bad is always lurking around. How maybe I’m having to do too much and be too many people. They’re always worried about

 

 

‘Well you’d know the value of having so many people looking out for you, when all you have is an apple tree to talk to at the end of the night.’

 

 

She doesn’t know why but suddenly her heart is clutching in her chest so tightly, she wonders if this is how it would feel if Regina were to rip her heart out.

 

 

‘You have Henry Regina. He actually was very upset with me for behaving the way I did. It is the reason why I am here.’

 

 

‘So, you came here **for** Henry?’

 

 

Her tone is challenging, like she is calling Emma on her bluff.

 

 

‘Yes and No’ Emma looks at her toes and begins to draw circles in the ground.

 

 

‘I think Henry made me realize how immature I was being, but I am here because..I…’

 

 

Regina’s cell buzzes with the same _annoying_ Irish tone that Emma remembers from a night like this some weeks ago.

 

 

She slips her hand in the pocket of her crimson cotton pants to retrieve her sleek black phone and as she slides it up, motions with her index finger raised to Emma ‘Jones. I’ve been waiting for a while now.’

 

 

So that is why she was so prompt to open the door. The thought makes Emma fidget with the zipper on her jacket. There it was again…the feeling swirling in her chest all through the day has once again begun to gain momentum.

 

 

Unknown to her Regina had been watching her, and immediately registered the flicker of anger beginning to simmer within Emma.

 

 

‘ Emma what’s wrong?’ Regina moved closer to Emma.

 

 

She hadn’t even realized that Regina had finished talking on the phone.

 

 

‘Hook’

 

 

‘Excuse me?’

 

 

‘I mean, on the phone, that was Hook?’

 

 

Regina nodded. ‘He had a nasty burn today and wanted some potion for it’

 

 

‘Oh, yes. You’ve now begun to learn how to use your magic to heal and rejuvenate’ 

 

 

‘When I was Rumple’s student all he wanted me to master was in the darker world of magic. It is only after you – broke the curse, that I think I’ve begun to wonder about using my magic for healing or building than ripping hearts and destroying worlds’

 

 

There was such a strange sense of sorrow and hope - both at the same time - flittering across Regina’s face that Emma just wanted to reach out to the older woman and hug her.

 

 

But she decided against it. They hadn’t hugged ever. Their friendship was still tittering on the edges of something very raw and new, and she didn’t want an impulsive act to push them back to their old ways.

 

 

‘You’d think it must be very easy, considering how many hearts I’ve ripped out and how many complex dark spells I’ve memorized with ease. But it is the hardest kind of magic I’ve ever had to learn. Maybe it is just me – my heart is so black that reaching out for the light is like trying to tear yourself through an eclipse.’ She sighs.

 

Emma thinks how Regina looks so small and vulnerable at that moment. She can’t even find a single trace of the Evil Queen in the woman anymore. But was that a good thing? Was Regina trying so hard because she wanted to or because she had no option?

 

 

 

She was alone and lonely. She was willing to do anything for Henry. Had it been a few weeks ago, Emma would’ve thought Regina was trying to change because she was in love with the Savior. So if Regina had to have all these people in her life, she would have to change herself to be good enough for the ‘good’ people to accept her.

 

 

Was that a real change though? Was it fair to Regina? To have to do all this alone? After carrying the darkness in her for so long, there would have to be corners of herself that would forever be impacted by the shadows of her past. Was it fair to expect her to forget those corners forever? Wouldn’t that just be expecting Regina to be half the person that she was? When we all deserved a chance to be just exactly who we are?

 

 

Is it why Regina felt the need to distance herself away from Emma and Henry, once a while, like she had done today? After all Henry is constantly reminding Regina of how now she is NO longer the ‘Evil Queen’. Emma has only wanted Regina in her life after Regina saved Storybrooke by almost killing herself. Snow, while having a strange sense of yearning for the step-mother she never really had, remains judgmental and oblivious to the shadows of Regina’s past that forever loom over their shared history. Charming, well, he is always playing Sheriff around Regina. Neal, the only one amongst them all to have walked into Regina’s world after her redemption phase, still decides how their weekends must be spent.

 

 

Nobody asks Regina if she wants to be here. Play good all the time. Maybe that is what Emma saw today across the window – a true sense of solidarity between two fallen villains desperately trying to stand by themselves, in a world that was wearing them down apart – with all the goodness. 

 

 

The ease with which the Evil queen laughed and chatted with Hook, was about Regina finding someone who understood the inescapable darkness within her, and without having to apologize for it. Hook was someone with whom she could just be her current self – a struggling but reformed evil queen.

 

 

 

The fog of thoughts began to slowly clear away in her head, and she found curious brown eyes, filled with a kind of warmth she could only attribute to love, gaze intensely into her jade green ones.

 

 

 

‘You have me Regina’

 

 

She saw little cracks rip into Regina’s otherwise composed demeanor. The woman was far more flustered than she would have wanted to show.

 

 

 

‘You said you felt like only having an apple tree to retire back to when the night falls’

 

 

 

Moisture clouded up in the older woman’s eyes and she saw Regina swallowing hard to contain the fury of emotions that were silently screaming from her throat.

 

 

‘I thought you knew that. After all these weeks we’ve been spending time – as a family together. I assumed you knew how much I truly want you in my life now. And not because you are the mother of my son, or because you are trying to be one of the good guys Regina, but because no matter how lost I feel in spite of all these people around me, the minute I’m with you, it feels like I’ve found myself. I’m nobody’s Savior, nobody’s daughter, nobody’s girlfriend, nobody’s mother….I’m just Emma and you are just Regina’

 

 

 

 

Her palms feel very sweaty and she wipes them on the back pockets of her blue denim, hoping Regina hasn’t caught that act. Being honest with Regina was new territory for Emma. Sure they’ve managed to co-exist peacefully and to Emma’s credit Regina hasn’t hurled ever one fireball her way through all these weeks, but they’ve never been honest about what they had come to mean to each other now.

 

 

Regina isn’t the kind to wear her heart on her sleeve or express her emotions verbally. So it had to be Emma. After all, the Savior has to lead by example right? She laughed inwardly at how silly that sounded and was glad Regina couldn’t hear it.

 

 

‘I know it is very selfish of me. All my life I wanted people who wanted me and cared for me. But now, when I have them all, I just wish I could run away from all of this. And whenever I do, Regina, I…I find myself right outside your door.’

 

 

 

Regina who has managed to compose herself after being initially caught off guard just stares blankly at Emma. Like either she was too dumbfounded to hear these words tumble out of Emma’s mouth or that whatever was escaping Emma’s lips were some sort of poison she was magically trying to deflect away.

 

 

 

Still Emma continued ‘I don’t know why but I feel like the only thing keeping me sane currently is your friendship Regina. When you told Henry you couldn’t come for the picnic, I was worried you’d fallen ill and had nobody around to look after you….’

 

 

‘I was just marching my way up to your home to check up on you, and there you were at Granny’s having a wonderful afternoon with Hook! You seemed so unguarded. Something you aren’t even when Henry is with you. And…I just…felt this wave of …damn it Regina, I feel like a teenager all over again….’

 

 

 

‘You were jealous of Hook Mis- Emma…?’ Regina’s brown eyes were now wide and she was trying hard to suppress the fit of laughter bubbling within her lungs.

 

 

 

‘Fine, go ahead make fun of me. Ha ha ha…there happy?’ Emma found herself mimicking Henry when he got upset – she kicked the ground with her left foot and drawing her fingers into the pockets of her pants looked up to Regina -only for a second -with green eyes full of hurt.

 

 

Because it came to her instinctively, she had seen Henry wear this face millions of times before the curse broke, she reached out and held Emma’s chin. Raising it up so that green eyes now directly gazed into brown, she warmly smiled before stepping an inch closer and spoke in the softest voice she ever had ‘Emma, you silly idiot. I thought you were immune from the Charming genes but aah the apple won’t fall far away from the tree huh?’

 

 

‘At least my apples don’t poison Henry.’ She held her breath for a few moments because it sounded way different in her head.

 

 

  
To her relief a warm throaty chuckle echoed from within Regina. A sound she wanted to instantly hear again and again. ‘Nonetheless, the stupidity is potent enough to cause comatose all by itself. I’m pretty sure dear the manipulative and cunning ways of **our** son are all courtesy Baelfire’s ancestry there.’

 

 

OUR son…Even though Regina always referred to Henry as their son now, yet Emma’s heart always raced whenever Regina said the word with such finality and ease. It made Emma feel like she wasn’t the outsider to this fairytale world anymore.

 

 

‘Oh, I don’t know about that your Majesty.  I think Henry is all you to be honest! Dare I say, I wouldn’t have him any other way either’

 

 

The way Emma’s eyes danced with laughter and warmth when she said those words, made Regina’s heart ache with the desire to just pull her in closer and kiss her softly. It was then she realized that she still had not let go of Emma’s chin.

 

 

She withdrew contact and was perplexed to see disappointment wash over Emma’s face.

 

 

They were still standing so close to each other. Right in each other’s personal space, close enough for Regina to be able to feel Emma’s warm breath fall upon her cheeks and the scent of her floral shampoo penetrating Regina’s senses creating a ripple of warmth to percolate from head to toe.

 

 

She only hoped Emma didn’t notice that Regina had indeed leaned in to take in some more of that scent.

 

‘Regina’ brown eyes opened up and was taken aback to recognize desire swimming in the bluish green ones ‘I…think…I…I was jealous because I want to be your best friend, not Hook’

 

 

‘Oh!’ Regina felt so stupid and couldn’t help but chuckle for imagining seeing things she wished were true.

 

 

‘No, I’m serious. I want you to be able to talk anything with me. I want you to know that you’re never alone. You have me. You have Henry. We will always be family. And I want you to be whoever you truly are around me, not have to put up pretenses or well be good all the time.’

 

‘So it would be OK if I set Snow White’s hair on fire once a while? Because honestly, I’ve always controlled myself every single time….’ Regina grins wickedly.

 

 

‘Hey, you know what I mean….’ Emma screams in mock horror!

 

 

 

They both fall into an easy and loud laughter. After a few seconds, a comforting silence envelops them…

 

 

 

Emma is the one to break it ‘I love the sound of your laughter. It feels like clouds are floating into me and I feel light, as if I’m drifting away into an open space. You should let me hear it more often.’

 

 

‘You should stop being your idiot _charming_ self more often then….’ Regina pouts her lips and rolls her eyes.

 

 

The action was so endearing that Emma rues about how she couldn’t pause and play the moment on loop.

 

‘Is that a charming as a noun or charming as an adjective?’

 

Regina freezes for a minute and when she finds Emma wiggling her eyebrows at her, licks her lips and then says with a poker self ‘Charming with a Capital NOUN C’

 

 

‘Aah, for a minute I thought you were referring to have even the Evil queen cannot be immune to the charms of the White Knight. Come to think of it, that would make the best fairytale end, would it not?’

 

 

 

She says it so innocently that it breaks Regina’s heart. Because that is what Regina had hoped this story would end as. The Savior saving the Evil Queen by falling in love with her and making her feel wanted.

 

 

 

‘No my dear, for that kind of charm I think I can rely on my old friend Captain Jones’ she replies with the intention of riling Emma up.

 

 

 

‘Oh please!!!’ Emma drawls the last word. ‘Hook’s idea of flirting with a woman has to be the vilest and most obnoxious one I’ve ever known.’

 

 

 

Regina laughs as she leans her left side into the door frame ‘He isn’t all that bad Emma, really. I suppose his flirting skills are really rusty, it has been a while since he has really felt so strongly and honestly for a woman since Milah – and that was ages ago. But otherwise he has been trying hard too, just like I have.’

 

 

 

It earns her a sigh from Emma. ‘I get him on some level Regina. I understand what it must feel like to be all alone by yourself for the longest period of your life. But I just don’t see how you could find him appealing enough to pursue a relationship with!’

 

 

 

It takes Regina a moment or two to register Emma’s words. Then as if a switch has been flicked in her head she blurts ‘Hooked Queen?’

 

 

 

Emma rolls her eyes and nods. ‘Leroy was well taking bets, and Snow and Neal think you guys will make an interesting couple.’

 

 

‘Aah the darkest creatures of the land, truly deserve only each other...’ Regina’s voice suddenly drops really low and she stands upright slowly, as if trying to center all the anger that is currently brewing within her.

 

‘I suppose. The clichéd ways of our world…’ Did you hear what they call my parents? Snowing!! Don’t tell me it doesn’t sound ridiculous to you.’

 

 

‘Why dear, I think such a silly name is befitting for Snow and her Prince Charming’ her voice holds no bitterness, even if that was how she meant for it to come across.

 

 

‘Well, at least it is better than mine and Neal’s’ Emma puffs.

 

 

 

The mention of Neal and her makes Regina feel sick. Yes, she recalls Hook ranting about how the second duo of true loves club are called ‘Swanfire’.

 

 

 

‘If you ask me, SwanThief is the more befitting one. Not sure how Neal would take to it though’ Emma says darting her tongue out.

 

 

 

It surprises Regina how Emma always says things that are silently floating around in Regina’s head. The more time they spend together, it feels as if they just know what the other might be thinking.

 

During times like these she wonders, if in fact Emma hasn’t realized that there is something more between them. That something more is meant to be. This is why the curse was broken. For Emma and Regina to hook out each others thoughts, while they sail through life with their anchor right next to them – Henry.

 

 

‘Well, Hook actually thinks his name pairs with you best.’ Regina smiles into blue eyes filled with disgust.

 

 

 

‘Captain Swan’ she mouths softly to Emma.

 

 

 

Emma just rolls her eyes and then crossing her arms across her shoulders cringes

 

 

 

After a beat she looks at Regina with genuine confusion ‘Why not Hooked Swan, if it is Hooked Queen?’

 

 

Regina sighs deeply.

 

 

Smiles

 

 

 

Curses fate silently

 

 

 

Smiles

 

 

 

‘What? If it is Hooked Queen, why not Hooked Swan?’ Emma scratches the corners of her mouth and rubs her eyes, suppressing a yawn from birthing through her mouth.

 

 

 

‘Well, Hook thinks…’

 

 

  
She is cut off by an absolutely livid Emma ‘Please, Regina. Can you stop with the Hook cheerleading? I don’t understand how you could be, let alone entertained the idea about dating that lecherous pirate!’

 

 

 

Regina feels it. The anger and self-loathing wrapping itself across her chest, constricting her chest making her take slow deep breaths. She doesn’t understand why she feels the need to justify her friendship with Hook to Emma, but she realizes as it has always been, what Emma thinks about her matters.

 

 

 

It matters a great deal.

 

 

 

‘Miss Swan, once and for all – Jones and I aren’t seeing each other.’ No matter how much of a poker face she has managed to keep, the crack in her voice betrays her.

 

 

 

Is that relief that just swirled in those green eyes?

 

 

 

‘So, what then, you and he are best friends now?’ Emma asks with a little bit of more green in her eyes than usual.

 

 

 

‘Yes, we are friends now. By which I mean, neither of us is trying to kill or torture the other. We occasionally break bread together or sometimes help the other drown their sorrows in a drink or two or  watch together how the  ‘good’ continues to decide who we shall always be – the ghosts of our past or sometimes we find ways to heal our old wounds, whose scabs the world keeps on prodding to open again.’

 

 

‘We’re friends too’

 

 

‘Yes Emma we are.’

 

 

‘But I don’t see you wanting to be around me other than **for** Henry’

 

 

Regina knows what Emma is trying to do here. She knows Emma is seeking answers to the questions that have been gathering within her for a while now. The past few days have been the calm before the storm. Because whenever Emma tried to dig a little deeper into their friendship, Regina wouldn’t let the blonde in…

 

 

How could she? Would she be able to honestly be ‘best’ friends with a woman she was in love with? Every time she saw Neal even trespass Emma’s eyes with a smile, she had to restrain that dark feeling egging her to rip his heart out and squash it beneath her designer heels. Could she spend her future lying to herself? More pertinent, could she spend a lifetime holding back the truth from Emma?

 

 

‘That is not true...and well to be honest, isn’t that why we decided to be friends Emma, for Henry? So that he doesn’t get caught in the crosshairs of our battles’

 

 

There is something absurdly beautiful about how the blonde’s body is buzzing with anger and impatience.

 

 

‘No Regina. That is bullshit. You know what I think the real reason behind you being scared to attempt an honest friendship between the both of us is? Simply put, I think you believe that I’m beneath you somehow. Not good enough to be worthy of her Majesty.’

 

 

“Miss Swan, I think you are a bigger idiot than I ever gave you credit for!’ Regina smirks as she reaches to grab Emma’s forearm.

 

 

Emma behaving every bit like a petulant young child, grunts and pulls her hand away from Regina.

 

 

‘Emma, please. You know that isn’t true.’ Regina sighs

 

 

‘So then tell me’ Emma challenges ‘Why can’t I be that friend Regina?’

 

 

‘Because it is too damn hard, Emma!’

 

 

‘Why?’

 

 

‘Dammit because I l…’ her eyes widen with fear about what she was just going to have confessed.

 

 

‘Let it be Emma, please’ she pleads to the blonde, who seems in no mood to accord to her request though.

 

 

‘Fuck Regina, why can’t you just answer the question. Why is it hard?’

 

 

‘….’

 

 

‘Why?’

 

 

‘It just is…’ her voice trails with resignation and Emma’s heart clenches unexpectedly at how defeated Regina sounds in that moment.

 

 

But she presses on ‘And it isn’t hard with a man who almost let you die, left you to be tortured to a possible death and was an accomplice  in your kidnapping? How can you forgive him Regina, after all that he has done to you?’

 

 

It is at times like this Regina wonders if the blonde truly is as innocent as she sounds, how she is perhaps guided by the pure magic that is her DNA or she is simply as stupid as the shepherd father of hers.

 

 

‘We are not our past Emma. Who better than you to have made me realize that!’

 

 

She can sense that the blonde’s surprise is genuine and that for the first time Emma has actually considered how bound Regina has been to her, since the day she arrived in StoryBrooke.

 

 

‘Hook maybe many things, but right now, he is the only thing that feels familiar. I don’t know if I can ever be the kind of person you are Emma. That flame of purity doused the day I took my own father’s heart. I don’t know if I can ever wash away all I’ve done in the past by trying to be a better person in the present. Some parts of me will always be dark and broken. Henry doesn’t get it Emma. None of you do. Once you see and do certain things, they can never be undone. They lie next to you every night, mingle with your dreams and feed your nightmares….’

 

 

Emma understands where Regina is coming from and she suddenly has this clear understanding of just why Regina has been spending so much time with Hook.

 

 

Because somewhere being the only members of Storybrooke’s ‘evil anonymous’ program , their rehabilitation has managed to make both of them acknowledge the good in each other too – unconditionally and with unwavering faith.

 

 

‘He gets me Emma. He fights that battle every single day. To not falter to the temptation of doing the easier thing – walk the streets of power and darkness, rather than have no place to run away from the haunting memories of our past actions.’

 

 

She looks down at her feet staring at the floor as if her secrets were splayed all across it and after a moment of hesitation or two resumes ‘I don’t feel ashamed to admit to him that today while trying to heal one of the horses at the stables, I had a desperate passing urge to reach in and grab its heart, to wrap my hands and feel the power of control that my life lacks now…’

 

 

Regina can feel Emma’s gaze burn her skin and she suddenly feels the bile rise up to her throat. She is horrified to realize that she has let Emma – the savior- in on the dark secret that she spent nearly an hour wrestling with.

 

 

Her mind begins to panic. What if Emma told Henry that his mother was still yearning for ripping out hearts?

 

 

She imagines Snow and Charming scoffing at how the Evil Queen can never change. But more than anything she worries that when she lifts her eyes up; those forest green eyes would be veiled with disgust and disappointment.

 

 

 

However, what she finds in them are empathy and something….something a lot like love?

 

Moisture begins to cloud up her eyes, and too ashamed to let her weakness spill down and fall at the feet of the Savior, Regina turns away from Emma and swallows the sob that almost breaks free from her throat.

 

She is still biting her lower lip fighting to contain the desperation that is howling and beating against her chest from exploding through her throat. Suddenly she feels two warm hands circle her waist from behind and grip her in a firm hug. Emma’s head rests on her right shoulder, her breath slow and heavy – her heart begins to dance wildly as if surrendering itself to a beautiful orchestra.

 

‘I was jealous’ Emma speaks so softly, that Regina has to at first strain her ears, over the loud thudding of her own heartbeats.

 

 

‘When I saw you with Hook without looking like the weight of the world was on your shoulders, it made me want to punch him. I thought being with **us** would be the right thing for you. To be surrounded by Henry and family. I just didn’t consider if it would be the best thing for you….’

 

 

‘Em-ma…’ Regina barely squeaks…

 

 

‘No Regina…hear me out. I know this must be hard for you. While I admit I never considered that it could be such a struggle, I know you are strong enough to exorcise the demons of your past. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever come across any woman who has the kind of tenacity and strength you do Regina. After all that has happened, you still refuse to buckle under the weight of all your miseries – you never have – and give up. You have never abandoned yourself, when everyone around you did.’

 

 

Regina can no longer control the treacherous tears that are now falling freely over Emma’s forearms.

 

 

She squeezes them tighter over Regina’s waist and lets out a deep sigh that echoes itself all the way from Regina’s ear to her heart. It prompts the Queen to bring up her own arms and lay them over Emma’s, but she keeps her grip light, absentmindedly moving circles over them.

 

 

‘You will still fight Regina. Not for Henry or being able to be part of his world, but for yourself. Just so that you will know with for once with outmost certainty that sometimes you make choices in life, while sometimes choices make you. For the first time in your life Regina make the choice yourself, to write your own happy ending.’

 

 

She can feel Emma smile against her neck. She can hear her mind yelling at her to turn around and claim those lips, so that she can swallow that smile whole and let it sprinkle pieces of it all across her aching and dark heart.

 

 

Instead she takes her right arm and lifts it to cup the side of Emma’s cheek ‘Thank you’ she whispers tenderly.

 

 

Emma releases her hold and instantly Regina finds herself scrambling unconsciously to reach out for her warmth again. She turns around to look at a slightly flushed Emma, who is shifting nervously on her feet – the realization of hugging the Evil Queen perhaps dawning on her now.

 

 

‘You’re welcome Regina’ she finally manages to blurt out shrugging her shoulders and tucking her hands deep into her pockets, as if otherwise they’d once again be gliding their way towards Regina and holding her in a tight embrace.

 

‘I just want you to know though that I going to try to be the friend you need. I don’t want you to feel suffocated to be around me. All I could think of today at the picnic Regina was the _presence of your absence_ …’

 

 

‘I don’t know why I feel like you’re the only person around whom I can just be myself. And I want you to be able to feel that way too.’

 

 

Regina sighs deeply _if you only knew Emma_

She smiles shyly and then adds softly ‘I came here forHenry **,** butI never left because of **you** …’

 

 

It doesn’t escape on Regina that the blonde is trying to state something far beyond the obvious.

‘I can’t promise I won’t mess up – like I did today. But I promise that the next time an unsuspecting pirate is not at the receiving end of my ire!’ she grins sheepishly.

 

 

Regina’s eyes widen with a sudden realization and she gapes at her open mouthed ‘Miss Swan, you dropped hot coffee on Hook on purpose!’

 

 

It is a statement more than a question and earns her a snort from Emma ‘I may or may not have your Majesty!’

 

 

Both women burst into a fit of loud laughter and Regina feels bad considering Hook was nursing a nasty burn on his hand after all.

 

 

‘I..uh…it is getting late…I better leave then.’ Emma runs her hand through her hair and then clears her throat ‘I was wondering if this weekend, you, me and Henry – just the three of us can go for a picnic. You’d have to cook though.’

 

 

‘And no apples of any form….’ she adds in jest, darting her pink tongue out.

 

 

Regina can feel her heart fluttering within and chest and all that escapes her mouth is an appreciative hum.

 

 

‘Good night Regina.’

 

The younger woman is about to turn, when Regina once again steps into her personal space. She leans in and without any slight hesitation places a tender kiss on Emma’s cheek

 

 ‘Good night Emma.’

 

 

That familiar feeling creeps up on Emma once again, coloring her skin with a shade of red that she isn’t aware of, as she couldn’t herself see. With a spring in her step, Emma disappears out of the gate, leaving an exhilarated Regina slowly trudge her way back inside her home.

 

...........................................

 

 

 

 

 

 For long Regina just lies in her bed, smiling at the ceiling as if it held the secrets of the future and what she saw was pleasing beyond realms. Tonight, in this big empty house, she doesn’t feel as alone and unwanted.

 

 

Her mind races back to the moment Emma embraced her and she can still feel the blonde’s cocoa-butter cream scent swirl in her senses. She feels ripples of warmth erupt in her heart and her mind spins with a high at the memory of kissing Emma’s soft cheeks. The blonde curls tickling her face as she leaned in to softly peck her.

 

 

Through so many moments during that conversation, Regina sensed a different kind of radiance permeate in the space between them. It was more than what usually was normal for them. Was she crazy enough to wonder if Emma too felt something more for her? Something she could feel but perhaps couldn’t understand?

 

 

Her thoughts are brought to an abrupt end by the announcement of a text on Regina’s cell. Her heart races at the thought of it being Emma – a perfect way to end the night she thinks, as she reaches for her phone, lying recklessly at the edge of her side table.

 

 

1 new message from ‘My Fair Lady’ it reads. Regina grins at the nickname she had chosen for Emma. After all she needed no mirror to tell her anymore, who the fairest of them all was.

 

 

She punches a button and her screen bursts into life with the words of Emma Swan...

 

 

_‘Regina, I’m sorry, but we’d have to cancel plans for this weekend. Neal and I need to leave for New York urgently. Henry is insisting to come along – you know how persuasive he can be. I’ll catch up with you once we’re back…soon. Bye’_

 

 

She gingerly sets the cell back on the table and lies on her back once again, looking at her ceiling. It indeed does reveal to her the truth about her future. All that she will always be left with is her past, lying next to her every night, mingling with her dreams and feeding her nightmares…

 

 

The Evil Queen can never write her own happy ending.

 

 

As the tears begin to flow freely, yet again - in the name of Emma Swan – Regina cries herself to sleep!


	6. Hear Me

It had been exactly 3.5 days since Emma had spoken to Regina, 3 days since she had left Storybrooke, 2 days since she had slept for more than a couple of hours and a lifetime since she felt sane.

 

 

Try as hard as she could, Regina had refused to acknowledge Emma’s innumerable texts, voicemails and calls since that _going away_ text _._

Honestly, Emma had planned to wake early the next day and meet the older woman before she dashed away with Neal and Henry. But as with all things Emma Swan, disaster had to strike -- she just didn’t wake up in time.

 

  
She had spent until early dawn tossing and turning in bed, beckoning sleep for whatever morsels it could offer, but it proved to be as much of a bitch as a certain stubborn brunette, who was the reason behind her fitful sleep.

  
Regina hadn’t replied to her text. Emma was dismayed but wondered what did she expect the older woman to reply back with _‘Have a great trip Emma_ ’? I mean even for fairytale endings that was truly absurd.

 

 

She remembered the last time she had taken Henry out of Storybrooke – in a quest to find Neal – without informing Regina and how Cora had swooped in then and broken an already fragile will, of a woman trying to piece together broken parts of her.

 

 

No but this time was different. Cora wasn’t around. Plus they were friends now. That venomous snake of distrust and dislike had been rendered toothless over the past few weeks. In its place blossomed a relationship of hope and affection or so she had came to believe.

 

 

More than anything else though, Emma felt she had planted enough seeds of trust through these weeks, for a fertile plateau of assurance to blanket Regina’s volatile heart. So, obviously she expected some sort of acknowledgement – resignation or pure fury - from Regina.

 

 

She had come to associate Regina with showering extreme emotions because of the only way the woman knew how to feel – deeply and insanely. Therefore this eerie stoic silence from Regina frazzled Emma.

 

 

Maybe Regina was busy – too much Mayor paperwork to catch up on? _Yeah right a couple of cats must have climbed up a tree, which is all the action Storybrooke must have seen in these past few days._

 

 

Maybe she hadn’t got any of her messages – her phone must have been broken somehow? _She did get notified of delivery reports._

 

 

Maybe she didn’t pay her bill on time and her service has been withheld – _yeah right who in the town has a death wish?_

 

Maybe she had her phone set to silent!? _But then it has almost been 3 god forsaken days, the battery would have surely died out by then and Regina would have checked her phone at least once?_

 

 

Maybe she was too busy with **HOOK,** making him some more magical potions! _Not that, please…fuck._

 

 

This sharp bolt of pain stung deep into her chest and Emma brought her hand to her chest rubbing across it, in an attempt to soothe the pain.

 

 

Like a flash of lightning it dawned on her that of all the reasons she listed in her head, the last one was a catalyst into sending her into a deeper downward spiral.

 

 

She never had experienced feelings of jealousy when it came to Ruby nor with Snow (when she was just her flatmate) let alone with such levels of intensity. In fact if she thought about it, she wasn’t the _jealous_ types at all.

 

 

Even back in time, when Neal used to hang around with all his beautiful female friends, she was completely secure in their relationship. And to be honest, after years of being alone, she quite enjoyed some space to herself – which Neal always gave her.

 

 

Like he does even now, which is why she thinks he is so right for her. Why she ignores every other doubt that creeps into her mind at night; times when, her mind – as if on auto pilot – drifts effortlessly, to a certain stubborn brunette, her _supposed_ friend now.

 

 

Which is why she is perplexed as hell at this sudden stab of jealousy prodding at her heart every time Hook and Regina are mentioned in the same sentence. She just can’t stomach the thought of Regina spending all this time with Hook, whether as just mates or _otherwise_.

 

 

Though Regina had a heart to heart that night with her about why she _‘likes’_ spending time with that scumbag, Emma didn’t find Regina’s words assuaging any of her insecurities at all .

 

 

 In fact the discomfort that was fermenting within her, up until three nights ago, now had begun to rot. The stench of Regina’s silence was suffocating her to a level that she couldn’t begin to ease herself out of.

 

 

 With every passing moment the tendrils of her misguided ire menacingly began to tighten its grip over her. The only easy way to make sense of the anger was to deflect it --towards Regina for what Emma perceived as lack of trust, towards Neal because he continued to have a penchant for abrupt departures, towards Henry for being such a skilled manipulator, towards herself for not being able to knock the wind out of Hook’s sails!

 

 

‘Em, we need to leave’ she felt Neal’s arm snake around her chest from behind the black couch she was sitting on. ‘Henry is hungry and I told him we’d go to the pizza place he likes. Unless, you’re in the mood for some more room service? I’m sure he can grab a bite by himself’ he playfully smirked and bit her earlobe

 

 

 

They’d checked into a hotel in NYC and Neal had yet to find what they came looking for. Partly because Gold seemed to have deliberately left out certain tricky details, but mostly because he was too distracted with all the sex they were having.

 

 

Emma wasn’t sure what had spurred this sudden sex drive in her. She began wondering if when Regina had cast the curse, she had also unleashed some magical spell that decreased people’s libido when they were within Storybrooke’s boundaries. Her mind didn’t fail to note that it didn’t seem to affect her parents though.

 

 

But it didn’t make sense otherwise. The last three days had seen them have more sex than they had had in all the weeks since they got back from Neverland. It was as if they were back to their old days of being insatiable lovers. Except during Henry’s presence, but for most of the time he was too pre-occupied with the pool table in the hotel and Neal was more than glad to let him indulge.

 

 

For Emma it became like a drug that made her mind go numb. She felt nothing during those moments – no pain, no anxiety, no pleasure, no desire, no anger, no guilt, no yearning…nothing. Oddly, what she **wanted** the most _then_ was to feel _nothing_!

 

 

When all you can feel is misery or _Reginaless_ (as she had come to term it) like it had been in the past few days, it was a blessing to not feel anything!

 

 

Emma was sincerely grateful though because those were the only moments, since they left Storybrooke, when she did not think of Regina or put her above everything else that was happening in her life.

 

 

Well, if she were being totally honest, there was this **one** time though when Neal had her against the wall and her cell began to glow in the dark. She completely shoved away a visibly excited and frustrated Neal and made a mad dash for her phone. Turns out it was her mother. Well that put a complete end to everything.

 

 

And then there was also **another** time when in the middle of things getting really heated up, her cell beeped with the indication of her battery dying out. She couldn’t continue until she had plugged it into the charger and even after that as Neal’s hands snaked his way into her pants, all she could think of was whether Regina’s charge had died too. She was so lost in thoughts; she didn’t even realize when her body signaled it had ended.

 

 

Oh then there was **that** time when Neal mischievously pulled her into the bathroom, as Henry sat on the bed watching TV, hoping for a quickie; Emma was too consumed with thoughts about her cell phone tucked in the back pocket of her denims – she was worried if it slipped and fell in the water, Regina wouldn’t be able to get through if she had a change of heart and tried calling. She faked her orgasm that time.

 

 

Aah also **again** today morning, an hour ago, as Emma was willing her mind and egging her body to climax, her cell beeped - notifying a new message, and as she shut her eyes tightly, like a reel of a motion picture, Regina’s images scurried through her mind, suddenly intensifying her buildup and eventual release within a few minutes.

 

 

Her terrified heart would only later admit it to be the most blissful orgasm her body had been swept up in for the longest of time.

 

 

Obviously even recollecting the thought now left her extremely disconcerted. She couldn’t rationally dismiss why the heat in between in her legs had suddenly begun to rise when she thought of Regina. Why her heart always raced whenever her cell came to life.

 

 

She looked down at her hands and saw that her cell phone was clutched firmly in between them. Damn her cell phone she thought. **It** had been the root cause of all her miseries over the past three days. She cursed whoever that motherfucker was who invented this ubiquitous piece of a torture device.

 

 

‘No’ she suddenly yelled, causing Neal to abruptly jerk backwards ‘ We are not letting him roam around the city all alone’ She momentarily thought about the scenario of Regina watching them from some magic mirror, and shuddered at the kind of reaction it would invoke from the dormant evil queen in her.

 

 

‘C’mon, it is just a block away.’ Neal protested, clearly having developed a different kind of appetite suddenly. ‘Henry is 11! Remember how we became who we were at 17 – we learned to be alone?’

 

 

She just glared at him; as if doing that would erase all the painful memories that are threatening to peel away the façade behind this fairytale. Too exhausted to argue back she instead preferred to just settle the matter by standing up and grabbing her coat.

 

 

Neal, she noticed, had already made a beeline for the door ‘Aren’t you taking your phone?’ he turned back to her, pointing towards the table as she followed him.

 

 

‘No. Not like I’m expecting any important call!’ she intoned petulantly and tucked the buttons of her pea coat.

 

 

The amused cheeky grin on Neal’s face made her bang the door behind her with such force, she was certain a screw or two must have surely come off the hinges. Exactly how her mind felt currently.

 

 

………………………………………………..

 

 

 

 

It had been exactly 3 days since Regina had seen Emma, 2.5 days since she got the first of several texts/calls from Emma, 2 days since she had stopped being angry with the blonde, 1 hour since her phone had not buzzed with yet another apology…

 

 

_Regina_ _had cried herself to sleep that night after she got the text from Emma. It felt like she was being pulled into quicksand and the only way to survive was by lying supine. So she lay there motionless until morning filtered in through her binds and the ringing of her phone compelled her to sit up straight._

_She felt a frisson of excitement rip through her heart, and felt incredibly angry at how easily Emma Swan could break through her defenses. Her eyes locked on to the screen and the number flashing in front of her made her want to throw up_

_Why was Baelfire calling her?_

_‘Hello..’ she kept her voice rigid and devoid of any emotion_

_‘Mom?’_

_‘Henry? What are you…’_

_‘Oh, I am using dad’s phone’ Regina found herself flinching at the mere mention of dad tumbling out of her son’s mouth._

_While she had certainly come to make peace with Baelfire being around in Henry’s life now, she still had a hard time considering him anything more than a mere sperm donor. The thought that even today her son lived with people he has barely known for more than a year than with the mother who raised him for 10 years always sparked an otherwise deeply buried rage within her._

_‘Mom?’_

_‘Yes dear’_

_‘I just wanted you to know that I am leaving for New York with….’_

_‘Yes, I am aware Henry. Emma did text me last night.’ Regina cut him off before she had to yet again endure another reminder of how she always came second…well actually – now - third._

_‘Oh! Ok. I…I…wanted to know if you…well…if you didn’t want me to go then I won’t’_

_His voice trailed towards the end, barely a whisper as if he was worried that Regina would hear the alternative and choose it. She doesn’t fail to realize that it was yet again another of his manipulative ways to get her to agree. After all he wasn’t asking her for permission to go, but rather informing her that she could **stop** him._

_He very well knew how much she starved for his acceptance and that jeopardizing the current normality in their relationship by exercising her authority was a least likely outcome. Some part of her reveled in the twisted sense of pride she felt, at how truly he was more the Evil Queen’s than the Savior’s son in that very moment._

_‘It is all right Henry. Just be safe. Enjoy yourself dear.’_

_She could sense his joy and genuine relief as he blew out loud into the phone ‘Thanks Mom! We hardly ever get to go out of Storybrooke. New York is so cool. The last time I went with Ma and Grandpa Gold, I barely got to explore the place. And they have better pizzas than the ones served at Granny’s!’_

_All the anger and bitterness that had sprouted within her since the receipt of Emma’s text dissipated with the sound of her son’s excitement._

_Regina_ _would do anything for Henry; she had to learn the hard way that he mattered the most to her in this world than anyone else. And if that meant acceding to his wishes of living with his biological family or wanting to scurry away out of town without her or take pride in his ‘good’ family deposing the ‘evil’ Queen, Regina found she was more than willing to kowtow._

_‘Mom…’_

_She heard his voice, all eager to probe into the silence that had settled between them._

_‘I told you Henry. Go. Enjoy yourself.’_

_‘Ok Mom. Would you like me to get you anything from the city?’_

_Regina_ _couldn’t help but chuckle ‘How about some apples?’_

_From Henry’s silence she knew he hadn’t understood the reference she was making to ‘The Big Apple’ and that the sarcasm was lost on her 11 year old. She thought of the missed opportunity of sharing this laugh with the blonde._

_Yes. Miss Swan. Again. Sigh_

_Regina_ _couldn’t help wondering what Emma was doing._

_  
Was she beside Henry? Would she be speaking next with her? _

_Her heart raced at the thought of listening to the blonde’s grumpy morning voice. It was one of the most endearing sounds Regina had grown accustomed to. Many a mornings Emma would call her and rant about how she hated having to wake up early to get Henry ready for school._

_As if Henry had picked up on her thoughts he cleared his throat before speaking tentatively ‘Emma is still asleep. She and Neal are still cuddling in bed the last time I checked.’_

_A wave of sadness tugged at her chest; first pulling her with such ferocity that she felt she was going to blackout, but then it gently rolled over and washed itself away through the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks._

_‘I think I must go now Henry. Be safe and don’t bother Emma too much.’ she smiled into the phone._

_‘I love you Mom’_

_‘I love you too my dear son’_

_……………………………………………………………………………………………………_

 

 

 

That was 3 days ago. Since then the younger woman had infuriatingly bombarded Regina with calls/texts/voicemails. Regina read all the texts and scanned all her voicemails but she never responded back, not even once.

 

 

She really had no reason to speak with Emma. The hour by hour communication kept her well apprized of Henry’s whereabouts and safety. That was all that mattered to her.

 

 

What took her by surprise was how she wasn’t angry with Emma at all. On the contrary she felt bad for the blonde. She knew how guilt stricken and desperate the other woman must feel at the moment. Henry must have not left Emma with a choice, weaseling his way through his expert manipulation, just as he had done Regina.

 

 

Regina knew what upset her wasn’t what Emma had not done, what upset her was what she herself had done. She had let herself be consumed by the hunger of her heart’s desire. For a brief moment 2 nights ago, she saw Emma as the mirage in her otherwise desert of a life. When Emma had held her – briefly – Regina thought of Emma’s body as her home but when Henry spoke about Neal and Emma the next morning, Regina felt like a refugee in her own skin.

 

 

She knew it wasn’t Emma’s fault as much as it was her own. After all if fate had decided to checkmate them, how could anyone claim a victory or a loss? Emma hadn’t offered anything more than her friendship and Regina had nothing left to offer Emma – she even had her heart.

 

 

Hook had warned her about this. About underestimating her heart and how it would lead the mutiny of her sanity in spite her steely resolve.

 

 

For the first time she envied him. He only had to grapple with not being loved back by Emma; she had to in addition to that, also cast a shadow on her true feelings for the blonde. 

 

 

It was getting harder with each passing day and the helplessness of the situation made Regina distance herself from Emma. She knew that very night, when she lulled her crying self to sleep that she had to make a decision, whether she had to let go of the blonde or to fight for having her in her life - completely.

 

 

She needed time to think clearly but the problem was the stubborn woman just refused to back off.

 

 

So when almost 2 hours had passed that afternoon since Emma had either sent a text or left her a voicemail Regina felt the pangs of anxiety and disappointment weave their way slowly around her heart. She constantly found herself checking if the network bars were showing full strength or if the battery had died or if her phone was set on silent.

 

 

As is turns out, Emma had finally given up. As with everything Regina, she realized that when she got what she thought would make her happy, as usual, it didn’t.

 

 

After pacing around her room for 15 minutes, Regina finally picked up her phone and pressed the number 3 on her speed dial.

 

 

……………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 

‘Is that my phone ringing?’ Emma had her left ear pressed against the door to their room. They had just got back from a nice lunch of pizza and a glorious stroll through Central Park.

 

 

‘Open the door Neal, goddamnit. You were much faster when we were petty thieves and had to break in and enter!’ she grumbled.

 

 

When she saw the scowl on Neal’s face and caught his eyes darting towards Henry who was standing right behind Emma, she felt a bit ashamed for having brought up their past so nonchalantly.

 

 

‘Em, I thought you weren’t expecting any important call. So what is with this sudden pants being on fire attitude?’

 

 

It earned him a chuckle from Henry but he knew better by looking at the frosty glare that Emma threw at him to hurry up and unlock the door, because he was certain she was a second or two away from breaking the door down herself!

 

 

Emma didn’t even wait for Neal to push the door open fully before she dashed into the room and grabbed her phone. Unfortunately it had stopped ringing right about then. Both Neal and Henry watched in silence as Emma’s shoulders slumped in disappointment when she read the notification on her screen.

 

 

‘Oh Ruby….’ she sighed loudly and carelessly flung the phone across the couch.

 

 

Neal approached her cautiously ‘Em, seriously, whose call is it that you are expecting so anxiously? Ever since we left Storybrooke all you do is glance at your phone every few seconds.’

 

 

Sensing that Emma was really distressed he thought it better to lighten the mood ‘I mean if you ask me, it is making me suspicious if there is someone ELSE in your life. Fess up Em, are you having an affair behind my back? Who is it Hook? Leroy? Archie?’ he mumbled the names one after the other teasing like a 14 year old boy.

 

 

 _It is **Regina**_ she could hear the voice in her head answer promptly.

 

 

She stood there inert even though her mind was racing with thoughts about the brunette once again. Emma had barely been able to spend 10 minutes that afternoon without Regina trespassing into her mind once again. She was livid at herself for being stupid enough to leave her phone behind in that initial burst of anger.

 

 

Neal suddenly raised both his arms up as if to gesture that he was only kidding, but Emma offered him a weak smile, before she glanced at Henry and walked away into the other room.

 

 

Her sad eyes had held the answer to her unusual disquietness and it was only Henry who was able to read it in a flash of a second, before it got hidden under the Savior mask.

 

 

……………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 

 

‘My Queen, so finally you’ve decided to stop playing by yourself?’ Hook’s playful voice greeted Regina on the other end of the line.

 

 

‘Jones, must you always be your usual asinine self? At least take a break once in a while? Every idiot does – including Snow White I must admit.’

 

 

He knew from how her tone lacked the venom it used to hold – once upon a time - that she was merely rousing him for a verbal duel. Makes sense, considering the Savior had left town and he was surprised that Regina had been able to go three days without speaking to her. Withdrawal symptoms, as expected, he chuckled to himself.

 

 

‘Regina, c’mon you know nobody has seen you in almost 3 days! So what have you been up to?’

 

 

‘Tending to my garden if you must know; I have been neglecting it since a while now, too many weeds had sprouted around’ she lied confidently.

 

 

‘Well then if you require my assistance to trim your bush, I’m more than willing to drop by today’

 

 

He laughs heartily and she can’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. Just as she uses her anger as a shield, he uses sexual innuendos to mask the vulnerabilities and fears lurking within him.

 

 

‘Hook…’ her voice rings into the phone as a warning

 

 

‘You miss her.’

 

 

She wants to refute and mock him for his presumptuousness.

 

 

Instead she absentmindedly just nods.

 

 

Hook knows her silence by now. He has spent far too many years sailing across lands all by himself – except for vengeance as a constant companion – to know that ultimately the one thing that can undo and defeat the most powerful of beings is yearning.

 

 

All yearning he reasons comes from absence. But the kind of absence mattered too. Like in his case absence of the presence of Emma in his life fueled his yearning for her. However with Regina, the presence of Emma’s **current** absence was what drove her yearning for the blonde. And because Regina was so accustomed to having Emma present in her life in the littlest of ways, he knew she was much lonelier than him.

 

 

‘I miss her too you know. You reckon between both of us missing her so much, the Savior must be hiccupping away the whole day?! Poor Swan’

 

 

It earns him a soft laughter and the genuine ache in her voice, makes him instinctively want to envelop her in a big hug.

 

 

‘Jones, still charmed by the old wives tale I see. And here I thought you had changed, preferring really younger women now, when you fell for your step-son’s girlfriend!’

 

 

‘Aah my love, another thing that binds us together – we’re both Storybrooke’s twisted grandmother/grandfather duo– lusting after our own step grandchild! When did we become like this?’

 

 

She can hear his hearty laugh reverberate into the phone and can’t help but smile at how easy their banter was. There was a time when he stood there mutely as Greg tortured her and now with his chatter was trying to ease away another kind of torture altogether.

 

 

‘You know when I say it aloud like that, I can actually see why Snow White is so pleased with the idea of Baelfire coming back to Emma’s life, why she sees them as true love. After all what are Swan’s alternatives? An evil pirate who lived for years only with hate and revenge – bedding more women than he can possibly even recollect, or an evil sorceress who ripped apart hearts and unleashed a curse only because she wanted to destroy the happiness of one woman? Snow truly is justified for seeing our love as beyond the boundaries of what is acceptable and worthy’

 

 

There he goes again, Regina thought quietly, the sober and contemplative Hook. She can’t help but smile at how now that they’re friends he always refers to her more as the _sorceress_ than the ‘ **witch’**

 

 

‘Regina…’

 

 

‘Yes Killian. I do miss her. But will you please stop with all your Snow White love? I prefer your repulsive sexual innuendos over exposure to this cruelty’

 

 

She paused so that she could neatly fold the anger away and tuck it back into the neglected corners of her heart.

 

 

‘I understand, you and me, we aren’t ideal suitors for Miss Swan. I’m not proud of my past and of my petty desire to have lived for 28 years to only watch Snow exist without love and family; but I certainly don’t think I am that woman anymore. Which is why nobody – neither the living nor the ghosts of my past, can tell me I’m not worthy of the Savior or of being loved.’

 

 

Even though she is trying to maintain her composure, she can feel her voice crack when she speaks up again ‘I am not my past anymore. I won’t let people make my see myself as they see me. Not anymore’

 

 

‘Your Majesty, that is not what I meant. I…’

 

 

She cuts him off abruptly and with the kind of urgency in her tone that only royalties could afford to have ‘Jones, you are never to address me as your Majesty, ever. It should have always been Snow.’

 

 

She thinks of all the times she has wondered how different her life would’ve been had Snow not come into it unannounced.

 

 

‘I was just a girl who loved a stable boy. Snow made me a Savior. I was just a princess who wanted a common life; Snow made me a mother. I was just a mother by title; Snow made me a Queen. I was just a broken and desperate Queen; Snow made me an Evil Queen. I never wanted to be a Queen. I just wanted to love and be loved.’

 

 

There is a silence that lingers between them for a while – an oddly comfortable silence – before Hook clears his throat and smiles into the phone ‘Regina, Snow also gave you one of your biggest joys in life – Henry. No matter how much you’ve suffered by the actions of a naïve young girl, in the end the one person who you’ve changed for and let your heart guide you towards has made life worthy of you no?’

 

 

Regina rolls her eyes and once again silently berates the emergence of the rational Hook again ‘Why do you think I’ve not yet ripped her heart out yet?’

 

 

‘Oh, I was thinking more like because you want her daughter’s head in between your legs or something like that?’ he guffaws

 

 

‘Can’t you ever keep one conversation free of your juvenility Jones?’

 

 

‘I can my love, I just don’t want to.’

 

 

She can hear some sort of shuffling noises in the background and it seems like he is struggling to open some cover, the plastic sound of the wrapper now causing static to occur on the line.

 

 

‘I hope that is not some body that you are wrapping? Not a way to score points with the Savior my dear’

 

 

She can sense his unease, which only pips her curiosity more. So while her usual self would have let go of the moment, this time Regina presses on ‘Jones? Is there something that you’re not telling me?’

 

 

Hook lets out a huge sigh and then stops whatever he is doing, silence once again falling between them ‘Ok Regina, I just don’t want you to judge me for this. I’m...well…Ruby asked me out on a date 2 nights ago…’

 

 

Regina’s eyes widen with recognition more than surprise ‘Aaah Miss Lucas. Of course.’

 

 

‘What do you mean?’ he asks with a tone making him sound far younger than she could imagine.

 

 

‘Well, I’ve seen her at the diner. She is always stealing glances at you. Brushing her arms across yours when placing the order and such other minute details…’

 

 

‘You noticed? You never told me. Well can’t say I wasn’t surprised…’

 

 

Regina can’t help but laugh at what she is about to say because she knows this truth far too well herself ‘Well, sometimes we are so caught up with those that we can’t have that we forget to notice those that truly want us.’

 

 

‘I suppose. Well, it isn’t like this is headed to paradise. Tonight is our second date. It felt good to be around someone without having to try so hard to impress them. After long I just had the chance to be myself without any apologies or censoring.’

 

 

‘I understand Jones. I am truly happy for you. Although I can’t say I’m quite impressed with Miss Lucas myself.’

 

 

Something about Ruby always rubbed her off the wrong way. Perhaps quite a bit had got to do with the fact that she and Emma were really close. There were times Regina wondered if Ruby was actually flirting with the blonde, but having seen their interaction more closely ever since she became friends with Emma, Regina knew there wasn’t anything beyond friendship there. Yet Regina found the possessive streak in her rearing its ugly head every time Ruby well acted like Ruby.

 

 

‘Regina, do you think I’m doing the right thing? In trying to move on and not dwell over what I cannot ever have?’

 

 

What does she answer to a question she knows that he isn’t really seeking an answer for. She is aware that perhaps all he wants at this moment is some assurance that he is not betraying Emma.

 

 

‘Your love isn’t weak Jones. It isn’t like you are cheating on Emma’

 

 

‘Then why does it feel like that?’ she can sense impatience and anger bubbling within him.

 

 

‘I’m not sure what the answer to that must be Jones, considering I don’t know how to love very well or let go very easily either. What I do know is that if someone wants you in your life you don’t need to constantly fight and prove yourself to find a spot, they make room themselves, don’t they?’

 

 

She finds that he is one of the few people in her life that she has –irrespective of the circumstances – always been honest with and one of the few people who never used that at any weak moment against her.

 

 

‘Not true my milady. I think you really do know how to love well, you just don’t know how to love yourself well.’

 

 

She knows they both are smiling at the same time and can’t help but wonder why Hook keeps this really softer and perceptive side of him veiled. Who knows Emma could’ve been truly hooked to this side of his personality.

 

 

What an irony she thinks that in an attempt to hide their vulnerabilities, they both have lost Emma to the one man who did nothing but exacerbate Emma’s own.

 

 

‘Well, I won’t keep you from getting ready for your date then. Talk to you soon Jones.’

 

 

She was almost not going to wait for his response to hang up but stops when after a second or two there is nothing but silence at the other end.

 

 

‘Killian, are you there?’

 

 

‘Hmmmm….I was wondering whether I must tell you the thing that my head has voted for or the thing that my heart has voted for.’

 

 

She isn’t sure what she must respond with and so just mutters out with uncertainty, not realizing he wasn’t asking her for an option ‘Err..well..you could tell me both…’

 

 

‘Regina don’t call her.’

 

 

‘What?’

 

 

‘Isn’t that why you called me? You wanted to know if you were doing the right thing by ignoring her?’

 

 

‘How did you even know…’ she stops in the middle of her sentence and notes that she is genuinely surprised that he has begun to read her so clearly.

 

 

‘No shit Sherlock! The minute Ruby told me that Swan had left town with Bealfire and Henry in tow, I just added up your absence up and about town to the whole equation and things got pretty easy to decipher from there. Also knowing how stubborn you are, I presumed you’d not have made life any easier for our favourite Sheriff, who I also presume hasn’t have given up either’

 

 

Regina can’t help but roll her eyes at how easily he was able to read them both and how casual he made it all sound, as if they’ve all been good friends since ages.

 

 

‘Move on Regina. I think this is the best for both of us. I told you being friends with a woman you are madly in love with is worse than spending your waking days ruing about your inability to tell her how much you love her. Letting her go doesn’t mean your love is weak Regina’

 

 

‘Then why does it feel like that?’ her voice rings in soft and innocent.

 

 

‘Well, I happened to ask the same question to a friend of mine. She didn’t have an answer for me though, but she did say something about not having to constantly fight for a spot in the lives of those you love….’

 

 

Regina couldn’t help but laugh out loud. This felt so natural and ordinary. She never thought that a time would come where Regina Mills life would have any semblance of normalcy in it. The banter with Hook made her feel like she was that same light hearted young girl again. Where the world didn’t seem as daunting and her present was not being buried underneath the rubble of her past.

 

 

‘Thank you Killian’

 

 

‘For what Regina?’

 

 

She wanted to sound eloquent and yet also unnecessarily verbose to express how much she appreciated that he let his loneliness mingle with hers. The alchemy of their unshed tears was birthing pearls of solitude within her heart.

 

 

Instead she chose to go with something ordinary.

 

 

‘For being **you**.’

 

 

 

 

 

………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Emma had been lying in bed for the better part of the last hour, ear phones blasting music from her i-pod. She had hoped the deafening volume would drown out all thoughts of a certain brunette from her mind.

 

 

Which is why she hadn’t realized when Henry had coming barging into the room, yelling at her about why she wasn’t answering her phone. Looking at his agitated expression, eyebrows frowned in a scowl – a face she often saw in the mirror, she switched off her i-pod and looked at him puzzled

 

 

‘EM-MA! your phone has been ringing since the past 5 minutes! Why aren’t you answering it now?! Isn’t that what you wanted – for mom to call you?’

 

 

‘Wait, my phone?’ she extends her arms across the bed and grabs her cell lying at the extreme end of the bed. She is still a bit dazed with all that loud music that had been playing into her eardrums and more so when her screen lights up with the notification of **10** _missed_ calls.

 

 

Why would her mother be calling her so frantically? Gosh, did something happen to Regina? She can feel her stomach twist in panic and then suddenly it occurs to her that Henry said ‘mom’….Not her mom – Snow, but his mom –Regina!

 

 

In a flash she has sprung up in bed and throws away the covers to sit up straight and browse through her call list. 10 missed calls from the **BLACK HOLE.**

Shit! Henry was right, it was Regina! She suddenly feels excited and nervous at the same time. Then suddenly it dawns upon her that Henry had not even checked her phone to know it was Regina who was calling. How did he know it was his mother calling up? Was the kid a psychic now?

 

 

She lifted her head with a questioning glance but immediately found Henry was averting his gaze and looking everywhere except at her. He was standing there clearly squirming in discomfort as if she had caught on to some terrible mischief of his, like the time he had gone off with Gold to watch him practice magic in the forest. Emma had managed to finagle the information from Neal, who was the least bit perturbed, even defending his father by claiming ‘not all magic is bad’.  Of course she thought, nothing is bad except when it came to Regina.

 

 

‘Kid, how did you know it was your mom?’

 

 

Henry just stood there in silence for a moment or two before rolling his eyes and muttering ‘I know you’re miserable because mom hasn’t spoken to you. So I…’

 

 

Before he could progress with his confession, the phone in Emma’s hand came alive again: **BLACK HOLE** calling…..

 

 

Emma’s heartbeat began to race wildly and she could feel her palms simultaneously going sweaty and cold.

 

 

‘Pick up the phone Emma. You wouldn’t want to keep her waiting any longer..’ with that he gave her an all telling smile and ran out of the room.

 

 

Emma opened her mouth to protest but no words came out. All her mind could think of was that she was going to talk to Regina, finally! She couldn’t understand why she was a mixture of nerves and happiness at the same time.

 

 

Taking a deep breath she clicked the answer button

 

 

‘Miss Swan!!!!!!!!!???’

 

_  
Ouch back to that are we…._

 

‘Is Henry OK? Where the hell have you been all this while? I’ve been trying to call you from the past 5 minutes.’

 

 

‘Regina…’

 

 

A part of Emma was really angry and irritated, the older woman hadn’t responded to any of her calls/texts in days now, yet the minute she heard that velvety voice – though laced with anger and concern – she couldn’t help but feel little butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach and a sense of comfort tingle through her senses.

 

 

‘Emma, if anything has happened to my son, then you and that mumbling boyfriend of yours, better open up a portal to disappear in, for god knows I’ll rip your…’

 

 

‘Jesus Regina! Stop going all batshit evil queen on me…Nothing is wrong with Henry! He is fine.’

 

 

Emma could sense that Regina was as confused as her.

 

 

‘But I just got a text 10 minutes ago from Baelfire’s number. It said “ _SOS._ _Call Emma ASAP. It’s about Henry.’_

She could still hear the confusion and concern reeking out of the brunette’s tone and for a moment felt slightly jealous of Henry. Of how fiercely he was loved by the older woman and how he was the center of Regina’s existence.

 

 

Emma couldn’t help but smile at the absurdity of her being jealous of even Henry now! The son who kept them glued together – making them a ‘ _we’._ Perhaps a visit to Archie was in the works – she couldn’t grasp why every time Regina gave her attention to someone else, Emma felt let down.

And speaking of the text, of course it was _Henry_. The kid had managed to figure out the source of Emma’s despair and as always had proceeded to play hero! Sometimes she wondered if they had mistakenly given her the tag of the Savior. Her son she deemed deserved it more than her in all ways.

 

 

‘Regina. Relax. Henry is fine. It was he who sent you the text from Neal’s number.’

 

 

‘Henry? Why?’

 

 

She could almost imagine soulful brown eyes filled with a hundred questions in them gazing at her with such deep intensity and bewilderment, that even the thought of it had made goose bumps erupt on her skin.

 

 

‘Well..er…he…I….’

 

 

‘Anytime now _Miss Swannn_ ….. BUT let me warn you this is not the time to test my patience dear…’

 

 

The purposeful drawling out of _‘Miss Swan’_ burst the dam of anger that she had managed to reign in so far and Emma could feel her body stiffen up and her throat muscles constrict with all the words she was about to spit out impulsively, without filtering her thoughts.

 

 

‘Patience? You’re going to fucking lecture me on patience Regina? I’ve been waiting since three bloody days now, hoping to hear a word from you and you have audacity to berate me for your own son’s manipulations?’

 

 

She pauses for a second to catch her breath, her voice bubbling with wrath and her eyes narrowing in fury ‘And what the fuck is with the whole _Miss Swan_ bullshit again _!’_

There is no sound on the other line. All Emma can hear is a ghastly silence that is threatening to make her throw up the lunch she had earlier. Had Regina hung up on her?

 

 

It is only when she quiets her mind and mutes the sound of her heart thumping loudly in her chest; she can hear the faint sound of a violin piece playing in the background.

 

 

‘I’m…I’m sorry _Emma_. I panicked when I read the text and you didn’t answer my phone for the past…I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that…Will you accept my apology?’

 

 

The familiar words draw her back into the past, a few months ago, outside Granny’s diner where the first seeds of Regina’s journey to redemption had been sown in front of her eyes. She still remembered how she wanted to ask the older woman to stay back for dessert and spend some more time with her, prodding the new shift that had occurred in their relationship

 

 

She hadn’t and well they had all paid the price later in the form of Cora. This time she wasn’t going to make the same mistake of _not_ listening to what Regina was _not_ saying. Besides she realized with the first uttered words of _‘Miss Swan’_ that Regina could have committed murder and got away with it for all Emma cared.

 

 

But she still wanted to make it hard for the older woman though.

 

 

‘I might but I have certain conditions.’

 

 

‘You watch far too many crappy lawyer shows dear. This is not some plea bargain, I’m certainly not playing along’ the brunette retorted.

 

 

‘Suit yourself then. I guess then you won’t know what happened with Henry, will you?’

 

 

‘You said Henry is fine!’ Regina spoke up with irritation clouding her tone now.

 

 

‘I said he was fine **now**! I presumed you wanted to know the whole story’

 

 

‘ _Miss Swan_ …’

 

 

Emma knew that even though the older woman was trying to sound intimidating, it was only out of last resort, and sadly she was doing a pathetic job of it.

 

 

‘One more _Miss Swan_ Regina and I will smash my phone against the hotel wall here. And by now you know what I’m capable of’

 

 

Regina knew the stubborn blonde well enough to realize it was no empty threat. This wasn’t Emma raising the stakes in their silly game of one-upmanship.

 

 

‘All right fine E-M-M-A. But you can set forth only two conditions.’

 

 

‘Two? Why?’

 

 

‘Because it is one more than what you deserve and one less than what I can live with. So it’s fair.’

 

 

‘Who knew the former evil queen was going to be the poster girl regarding fairness’

 

 

‘Former, dear? I guess you’ve forgotten what I’m capable of!’ Regina smirks as clicks her tongue.

 

 

‘You are no longer defined by your past Regina, not in my eyes at least. Well at least that is not how you will see yourself in my eyes if you cared to look…’

 

 

As the silence stretched between them and slowly began to hover around the boundary between comfort and uneasiness, Emma decided the wiser thing to do was to compromise.

 

 

‘Well…fine…the first - you promise to bake me your infamous apple pie when I return’

 

 

‘Aren’t you afraid I might poison you dear?’

 

 

Emma wants to say that she is certain Regina no longer cares about revenge or murder any more and that even if Regina won’t admit it, she now views Emma as a co-parent to Henry. So they have no reason to feel threatened by each other or fight for the one person in their life who makes them part of a whole.

 

 

‘No Regina, apart from what I already told you before, I’m pretty certain you’re far too chickenshit to pull that stunt around Henry.’

 

 

Regina knows Emma is being playful, but there are certain truths she would never admit to, not because she fears to admit her weakness, but because she hadn’t been able to accept her strengths either.

 

 

Regina feigned outrage at the suggestion ‘Oh please I’m certainly not afraid of my own son. How preposterous you could even suggest such a thing Mis-- Emma!’

 

 

Emma let out a hearty chuckle and shifted the phone from her left hand to her right hand, while resting her back against the head board of her bed.

 

 

‘We both know the truth Regina. Even the Evil Queen would’ve purred in front of him. You are terrified that if you deny him something, he won’t consider you worthy of his love anymore.’

 

  
It is a frivolous comment but after she has uttered them, Emma realizes that sadly it was the harsh reality of Regina’s relationship with her son.

 

 

‘Well not every one has the luxury of being a Savior – not needing to prove oneself at every bend of the curve’

 

 

There is so much sadness in her voice that Emma wishes Regina didn’t pin all of her happiness and self-worth on the acceptance of an eleven year old boy. But being a mother she knows that there are some inescapable traps in being a parent – loving your kid to a fault was one such.

 

 

‘The kid is a genius when it comes to manipulation and blackmail! I wonder who he gets it from hmmm, certainly not in his genetics.’

 

 

It is meant shift gears in the conversation, steer it away from the darker and sadder undertones it had begun to pace itself in.

 

 

‘Well my dear, you’re counting out Baelfire’s contribution in this, and considering the kind of genetics he shares with that little imp of his father, I think you are making quite a grand assumption there.’

 

 

Emma can only sigh because as much as she wants to tell Regina that nothing about Henry can ever be Neal and that even though she can’t make sense of it, Henry is all but totally Regina’s son – right from the way he thinks simplistically, to his impatience and momentary anger, his childish wondrous enthusiasm, to his sassiness, or his belief in love and family.

 

 

She knows though that the older woman continues to limp in the dark alleys of self-loathing and regret and no matter whatever tiny crutch Emma would offer her to tread her way out through it, Regina being the stubborn woman that she is would refuse to do so.

 

 

Still though she had to try….

 

 

 

‘Regina, Neal is not…’

 

 

‘Emma, I’m not interested to wax eloquent in praise of your mumbling boyfriend’ Regina hisses.

 

 

It comes out harsher than she intended to, but Regina can feel the fire blaze inside her, the anger swirling and gaining momentum as her mind begins to conjure images of the two of them in bed together, whispering sweet nothings with Henry giggling by their side.

 

 

Emma finds the reaction strange. Not because she is unaware of the kind of contempt Regina holds towards Rumpelstiltskin, but because Emma was sure that reaction was befitting of someone who was jealous as fuck!

 

 

It leaves her all the more confused regarding Regina’s behavior of late and she finds her mind inundated with another set of completely complex questions, answers to which she is too embarrassed to ask Regina and frankly too scared to discover herself.

 

 

‘Henry sent you the text because he thought…well actually because he knew that was the only way you would talk to me. I admit I was totally losing my marbles since the past three days. He must have wanted to put me out of my misery.’

 

 

‘I don’t believe we’ve established the conditions and neither have I agreed to them, yet’

 

 

 

Regina sounded uncertain, like she was only talking so that the awkward silence did not fall between them.

 

 

‘I don’t want to force you to do anything Regina. I was only trying to give you a hard time, figured it was the least considering the hell you’ve put me through since the past three days’ Emma sighs deeply into the phone and for a second she felt she heard Regina do the same.

 

 

‘What was your second condition?’

 

 

‘What?’

 

 

Regina clears her throat twice and starts to pick at imaginary lint on her deep red skirt ‘Apart from the apple pie, what was it that you were going to ask me to do, before you decided to be your usual noble fair idiotic self’

 

 

Emma breaks into a shy grin because she knows that was the brunette’s way of being affectionate.

 

 

‘I..er..I was going to ask you why you were ignoring me Regina’

 

 

There she had said it. The thought that had consumed her living existence and the different permutation and combination of answers that plagued her since three days resurfaced back and she felt her heart weighed down by the hurt of it all.

 

 

‘You don’t have to answer it Regina. I told you…I’d never make you feel like you need to do something just because you are worried what not doing it could mean. I won’t say I can understand why you did what you did, but I guess I would be angry too if you took Henry away without consulting me first’

 

 

‘I wasn’t angry Emma. I know he left you with no choice. As much as your mother thinks of him more as a Charming, I raised that boy for ten years, and I am aware of how he can weasel his way into doing things his way. Evil Queen’s son indeed’

 

 

They both roll their eyes and break into a small smile unaware that they were mimicking each other.

 

 

‘I swear Regina I was going to come meet you early morning before we left, but I suppose I overslept and then I couldn’t even call you….’ her voice trails off.

 

 

‘I know Emma. Henry had called me up…’

 

 

‘What? Why that little secretive imp….’ Emma interjects

 

 

‘Emma! I don’t appreciate you speaking about _our_ son like that’

 

 

She knows Regina is serious but all the scolding is lost on her because her mind is transfixed on how complete her world seems with the words _our son_ tumbling out of the former Queen’s mouth.

 

 

‘Emma?’

 

 

‘Yeah I am there. I know…It’s just that he didn’t say a word! I just wish he would have woken me up or waited till I did so that we could do it together’

 

 

‘Well dear, he said you were nestled far too comfortably in **your Savior’s** arms when he checked and I suppose he didn’t want to interrupt your fairytale’

 

 

There it was again Emma thought. Regina sounded…almost jealous of Neal…actually no she was certain Regina was jealous of Neal.

 

 

But why should she be?

 

 

‘Neal is not my savior Regina. I don’t even know what being a Savior means’

 

 

She thinks about what the word Savior means. Ultimately only we could save ourselves, nobody can do it for you. So what exactly is it do people mean when they talk about being someone’s savior. If you cannot see yourself as a soul in a body, rather than as a body in a soul, you will forever be trapped in your own curse.

 

 

Besides Emma has never needed any man to save her. All she had wanted however was for someone to **want** to save her.

 

 

‘So if you weren’t angry, then why didn’t you respond Regina? All this while I presumed, apart from your phone breaking down or your battery running out, that your anger was keeping you from looking at things rationally.’

 

 

All she is greeted with is silence.

 

 

‘Regina’ Emma whispers impatiently ‘Why then?’

 

 

Regina closes her eyes tightly shut. Like Hook, she debates what should win the vote the voice of her heart or her head. She wonders if the time had come to stop this pretense. To be, for once, selfless, brave and true to her own self.

 

 

She drew a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes, knowing that the time had come to stop lying to Emma but more than that, to be honest with herself.

 

 

‘I was jealous’

 

 

It was a short crisp statement which jolted Emma to sit up straight. Her heart is suddenly thumping wildly against her ribcage and she worries Regina can hear it too.

 

 

‘Oh’

 

 

‘That’s all you have to say dear? I figured you’d be gloating like a 15 year old after getting me to admit it’

 

 

‘I’m…Regina…just perplexed regarding…why you were jealous’

 

 

‘When Henry told me that you and Neal were cud…’

 

 

‘Oh Regina I get it!’ Emma abruptly butts in leaving Regina confused and frankly disconcerted ‘You were jealous of all the ‘family’ time Henry was going to spending with me and Neal! It made you feel insecure and unwanted!’

 

 

A part of Regina knows what Emma was trying to do. A part of her was also screaming in her head that it was exactly the right thing to be done. But when has Regina ever done the right thing? More so when has Regina ever let anyone stop her from doing the wrong thing?

 

 

So she does what she always has done – she acts on impulse rather than reason.

 

 

‘I wasn’t referring to Henry’

 

 

It was her turn to be greeted with deadly silence now.

 

 

Regina wondered if the wheels in Emma’s head had begun to slowly turn. If finally the blonde had begun to see through the façade behind Regina’s false bravado.

 

 

‘I’m not sure what you mean Regina’ finally Emma’s voice softly hums in Regina’s ears.

 

 

Regina knows perhaps Emma is too scared of the answers more than she is of the questions. She knows that

 

 

‘You damn well know Emma. A part of you has always known, has it not?’

 

 

‘A part of me you silenced weeks ago.’ Emma intones petulantly.

 

 

‘Are you happy with him Emma? Does he make you happy?’

 

 

‘Regina…’

 

 

‘Just answer the question Emma.’

 

 

‘Does it matter?’

 

 

 

‘Miss Swan...’

 

 

‘I don’t know Regina ok! I mean I guess he does. But then again I don’t know what happiness means, you know? Is it my individual happiness you are talking about? Or should we consider Henry’s happiness?’

 

 

‘Henry?’ Regina had never thought Emma would drag him into the conversation ‘what has he got do with it?’

 

 

‘Everything Regina. For long I had nobody in my life. I thought nobody wanted me. I thought I’d die alone. Then Henry comes along and I find that I have my parents who just **had** to send me away. I’m everyone’s savior. I am the one responsible for all their happy endings. You don’t know what that feels like Regina’

 

 

‘Of course, the evil queen only knows how to snatch away happy endings. What can I possibly know about the burden of expectations?’ Regina spits out bitterly.

 

 

‘Don’t put words in my mouth Regina’ Emma yells.

 

 

‘Well then tell me dear’ Regina continues to back Emma in a corner ‘I still don’t understand what Henry has got to do with any of this.’

 

 

‘Henry wants his family together Regina’

 

 

‘Oh I thought I was family too’ her tone is filled with the kind of spiteful vehemence that Emma hasn’t hard in a long time.

 

 

‘Stop it Regina! You asked me if I was happy with Neal? Yes. I am. Because for me all that matters in the end is if my son is happy. And he is Regina. He adores his father and perhaps this was how it was meant to be if August hadn’t shown up and well….’ her words dry up.

 

 

‘So there is your answer. I’m happy. _For_ Henry’

 

 

‘ **For Henry’** Regina quietly repeats after Emma.

 

 

‘Well then Emma that is all that matters. It has been long since we’ve been talking. I hope you don’t plan to starve **my** son tonight. So I guess you get back to them. I’ve got a couple of…of…errands to run too. I will catch up with you later then.’

 

 

‘Regina…I’m sorry!’ Emma doesn’t know why her heart feels like it is being weighed down by the weight of a thousand lies. She was truthful with the older woman, yet something was nagging her and making her feel like she was making a big mistake.

 

 

‘You have nothing to be sorry about dear.’ Regina’s tone is soft and inviting ‘I want you to be happy Emma. That is all that matters.’

 

 

Regina is holding back her tears and trying to not let the sobs rising in her chest from escaping her throat. She is fairly certain Emma is aware of the battle that her body is fighting against her exploding emotions.

 

 

Emma wants to ask Regina what this means for their friendship. Does it mean that she could no longer expect the brunette to be a part of her life?

 

 

She was hesitant to push the matter anymore at this stage but she had decided that she would beg the older woman to not throw away whatever progress and trust they had built over the past few weeks just because Emma couldn’t be what Regina wanted her to be.

 

 

Sensing Emma’s predicament and anxiety Regina genuinely feels a smile creeping up her lips and then as if wanting to calm the blonde’s doubts cradled the – now hot – phone in both her hands as if she was holding Emma’s face in her hands and spoke softly

 

 

‘Your apple pie will be ready and waiting for you when you get back Emma. And maybe we can finally have that picnic we were supposed to have with Henry as a _family_ ’

 

 

Emma reasons whatever washes over her at that instant was relief and happiness. But she

knew by now that she had gotten damn good at lying to herself.

 

 

There is odd mix of anger and disappointment she feels towards what she reads as a resigned Regina.

 

 

She can’t make sense of it. She doesn’t want to either. For now, all that matters is that Regina has not abandoned her as a friend.

 

 

 

‘Good night Regina’

 

 

 

‘Good night Emma’

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 

Quite a few hours have passed since Regina had spoken with Emma.

 

 

Regina is sitting in her study, twirling a glass of whiskey in her hand.

 

 

She had assumed she would have been drunk by now. But she hadn’t even completed her first drink. For someone who was rejected by the woman she truly madly deeply was in love with, Regina was rather composed and at ease. It was a long way from her Evil queen days of desperation and darkness she mused.

 

 

She felt no anger; neither bitterness nor despair at hearing Emma say that she was happy with Neal. She found that she was truly happy for Emma. After all isn’t that what being in love means? Finding your happiness in the happiness of the one you love?

 

 

Then there was Henry. He deserved to have a normal and happy family. A family he would have had, had she not cruelly enacted the curse. This was what he always craved all the ten years he lived with her. Stability and normalcy, something neither she nor Emma had growing up. A loving family unit consisting of a mother and a father who loved and adored him.

 

Emma was right. Henry was all that mattered.

 

 

So she was for once going to do the right thing – the actual selfless, true and brave thing. She was going to be a good mother to Henry and a good friend to Emma.

 

 

Love need not be reciprocal. It still was love.

She still loved Emma, perhaps always would.

 

 

But it was time to say goodbye to her old dreams.

 

 

The only battle that was raging within her, the one she had no idea how to conquer, was how to get her heart to say goodbye to the dreams of Emma too.

 

 

With that she raised her glass to the universe and made a toast _‘To new dreams’_

She took a big swig of her whiskey and let it burn down her throat, aware that even her heart was set on fire too.

 

 

………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

What Regina wasn’t aware though was that miles away, Emma was fighting a battle of her own.

 

 

She had excused herself from dinner citing a migraine and wanting to sleep in. Neal as usual had been his ever understanding self and coaxed Henry to leave her alone too. Henry obviously was suspicious about the sudden onset of her migraine but found the lure of ‘eat anything you want’ too difficult to resist.

 

 

When they got back Emma pretended she was asleep. In fact she found it hard to stay still because all she wanted to do was check her phone to see if she had received a text from Regina.

 

 

Neal had eventually climbed inside the covers and wrapped his arm around her waist, as she lay inert with her back facing him. In spite of all the familiarity he represented, yet, Emma didn’t feel belonged or safe, as she did when she was 17. How was this happiness then?

 

 

It was what she had confidently told Regina a few hours ago. This is what she wanted right? Then why was she unhappy. Why was she still thinking about the older woman non-stop? Now she had even managed to talk with the infuriating woman. Then why has she been staring at the ceiling for the past few hours now?

 

 

Which she thought was odd, considering the way things had panned out this evening. It was she who had pushed Regina away. But what else could she have done? She didn’t have any romantic feelings for the woman. She possibly couldn’t!

 

 

 She hoped Regina was all right and that she had something other than alcohol that she could lean on.

 

 

Just then she had a vivid image of Hook holding Regina’s hand and comforting her. The thought somehow deeply unsettled her. The jealousy pricked into her heart, like metal spokes digging itself into raw flesh. But something darker and even more intangible was taking roots within the hollows of her chest.

 

 

She closed her eyes and was terrified that she would stumble into the right answer. An answer she never found until now because she was too afraid to ask the right questions. Up until now she had cowardly stuck to asking the wrong questions.

 

 

Tonight though after Regina’s answer confirmed whatever questions she had feared to ponder upon many weeks ago, Emma found herself being brave enough to open the doors of her heart to greet her new dreams.

 

 

Dreams that anchored themselves in a pair of brown eyes turbulent with a universe of secrets that Emma found she wanted to explore.

 

 

With that she slowly wriggled herself out of Neal’s grasp and slowly walked her way out into the front room. She plopped herself on the couch and began to furiously type away a text. After a 10 minute internal debate, she finally hit send.

 

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

Regina had almost slipped into her purple colored silk night gown when her phone beeped in with an incoming message.

 

 

 

 **Text message received 10.41pm from My fair lady:**  

 

_SOS. Regina are you awake? Can we talk? We need to - **for Henry**_


	7. Turning Point

 

**Wednesday**

 

 **My fair lady (11:35 pm):** Regina, it has been half an hour! I’m still waiting.

 

**My fair lady (11:37 pm):** Regina, me again.

 

 

 **My fair lady (11:43 pm):** Regina, I know you aren’t asleep.

 

 

 **My fair lady (11:37 pm):** Regina, I can do this all day.

 

 

 **My fair lady (11: 39 pm):** Wait, make that night.

 

 

 **My fair lady (11:41 pm):** Ok, I guess we are approaching the next day. So...

 

 

 **My fair lady (11: 43 pm):** I am hungry. You suppose I can order room service?

 

 

 **My fair lady (11: 50 pm):** I’ve never given you 10 missed calls in succession. This was oddly exciting.

 

 

 **My fair lady (11: 51 pm):** I think you need to change your caller tune though.

 

 

 **My fair lady (11: 55 pm):** ‘Seriously, voicemail? But you know what that confirms to me. You just let me know that you were awake and you are once again back to being really mature.’

 

 

 **My fair lady (11: 57 pm):** I’m bored…It was so nice to hear your voice tonight Regina

 

 

 **My fair lady (11: 59 pm):** There is some car chase going on in TV. I can’t believe morons who actually assume they possess the batmobile or something…for fuck’s sake you don’t even have half a tank of gas and you think you can cross states?

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 01 am):** Oh quick if you are awake turn on the Disney channel. Snow White is on. She eerily does have my mother’s chin.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 04 am):** You are kind of hot in your fairytale avatar I must say. I see her in a brand new light now.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 05 am):** It must be all the alcohol I’ve ingested in the past hour because I’m so bored.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 10 am):** If my liver rots, you know you have my liver on your hands.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 11 am):** I think the stilettos are a fantastic addition by you though. I still remember how the sound of your heels clicking across the Sheriff Office floor, simultaneously terrified as well as excited me.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 13 am):** Why do you wear boots now?

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 16 am):** Woah this Evil Queen is really creepy…Thank God Henry is asleep in the other room. I’m kind of scared.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 20 am):** Regina, scratch off the kind..,I really am scared shitless!

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 27 am):** I think there is a rat in my room.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 30 am):** False alarm. Neal was mumbling in his dreams.

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 33 am):** You know this cartoon version looks at least 50! I can’t believe she thought she was the fairest of them all. Delusional much?

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 37 am):** Ok wait, you are the fairytale. Sigh

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 38 am):** Her skin is too stretched. I’m curious now, what was the fairytale version of a Botox?

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 43 am):** I suppose you haven’t ever…you know…in this world…had any cosmetic surgery, have you?

 

 

 **My fair lady (12: 56 am):** BTW it was a compliment -- the previous text. Your olive skin is so beautiful and radiating. It reminds me of a neighbor who lived opposite one of my foster homes – damn all the boys in the neighborhood had a crush on her. I guess I did too ;)

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 03 am):** Regina, I was kind of thinking…we never discussed how old you really are.

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 04 am):** You just ‘Miss Swan’d me eh ;)

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 05 am):** Aah caught that eye roll too. Right back at ya

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 07 am):** No really I mean 28 plus how many are we talking here?

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 11 am):** Good thing you’re such an evil heartless bitch eh. Else you’d have needed a bypass I reckon with an angry heart that is biologically older than 60ish ;)

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 12 am):** Ok wait that sounded funny in my head? Fuck I didn’t mean that you’re really heartless or evil…

 

 

**1 Voicemail from My fair lady (01: 15 am):**

_‘‘Ok Regina. Well…here…is what it is…wait no hang on. What I mean is…I wasn’t trying to tell you that you were old or that you are a bitch. I mean Heartless perhaps that can be argued – you’ve still to send me a single reply. I didn’t however mean to imply that you are evil or oh ok well… it was meant to be funny..but now I’m freaking out because I just realized how it must have sounded to you…I think I better shut up….’’_

**My fair lady (01: 25 am):** Regina are you mad at me?

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 33 am):** I really really really didn’t mean it like that. For fuck’s sake please reply!

 

 

 **My fair lady (01: 40 am):** Regina…

 

 

 **My fair lady (02: 02 am):** :-(

 

 

……………………………….

 

In Maine, a very amused Regina was still clutching on to her cell and chuckling away at the last message she had received from the adorable blonde about 3 minutes ago.

 

 

When she received the first text from Emma, where she had expressed the desire to want to talk, Regina had promptly decided that she had enough of Emma for the day. After all she was furious with Emma for trying to play the ‘ _For Henry’_ card - the second time that night.

 

 

How odd she thought that the one person whose happiness meant the world to them – Henry – was also the one person who was the reason for keeping their happiness apart from them.

 

 

However, as the night progressed and Emma continued to bombard Regina with her tirade of texts and voicemails, Regina found her fury dissipating. Emma Swan was the silliest idiot she had ever known in any world. She couldn’t help smile at how much she had grown fond of idiots – rather a particular idiot.

 

 

She however was having much fun keeping the blonde guessing and waiting. With every text Emma seemed to stumble into a new height of silly. And she wasn’t ready to willingly admit that she had replayed Emma’s voicemails over a dozen times now so that she could just listen to that soft, awkward, bumbling voice which warmed her soul and melted her heart.

 

 

Regina glanced at the clock by her bedside and with a huge sigh proceeded to furiously type into her cell phone.

 

……………….

 

 

 **Black hole (02: 25 am):** Monthly juice ups – the secret to my flawless skin

 

 

 **My fair lady (02: 25 am):** Jesus Regina! You really are heartless!!!

 

 

 **My fair lady (02: 45 am):** Errr Regina…c’mon that was just a joke

 

 

 **Black hole (02: 49 am):** I fail to see the amusement in repeating appalling jokes.

 

 

 **My fair lady (02: 50 am):** Too bad you don’t like jokes.

 

 

 **Black hole (02: 53 am):** Miss Swan, I like jokes. Not **bad** jokes.

 

 

 **My fair lady (02: 55 am):** Well at least you like me :)

 

 

 **Black hole (02: 57 am):** I don’t like you. _~~I love you~~_

**My fair lady (02: 57 am):** That is not what you were saying a few hours ago

 

 

 **Black hole (02: 59 am):** I didn’t think you wanted to hear anything a few hours ago

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 00 am):** I did manage to listen though

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 03 am):** My who would have thought the Sheriff’s thoughts can run deep?

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 04 am):** It always does when it is chasing the Mayor.

 

 

….

 

 **My fair lady (03: 07 am):** So Regina, you really don’t like me?

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 09 am):** What do you want Emma?

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 09 am):** Can I call you?

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 11 am):** No

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 12 am):** Then will you call me

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 12 am):** Certainly not.

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 13 am):** Why not?

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 13 am):** Because I want to go to sleep. I’m tired

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 25 am):** Doing what? Signing a few papers? Intimidating my poor mother?

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 26 am):** Don’t start with the eye roll

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 27 am):** Actually, if you really wanted to know, I had a really good workout with Hook.

 

 

“…”

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 33 am):** Emma? You know Captain Jones right? Aah I don’t know why I ever doubted his stamina!

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 33 am):** What do you mean?

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 37 am):** Regina… What were you doing with Hook?

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 39 am):** Fine…like I care…do whatever the fuck it is…Good night

 

 

………………………

 

 **My fair lady (03: 51 am):** Regina, I can’t sleep…

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 51 am):** Emma if you want a lullaby please call Snow

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 52 am):** I don’t **want** her lullaby

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 55 am):** Well then ask your boyfriend to entertain you

 

  
  
 **My fair lady (03: 55 am):** I don’t **need** his entertainment

 

 

 **Black hole (03: 57 am):** Do you want me to FedEx Hook to NY? He really is good at distracting

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 58 am):** Someone has already distracted me – reason why I can’t sleep

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 01 am):** I fail to see how I can help you Miss Swan. You need to irritate the source of your distraction then.

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 03 am):** What if I am?

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 04 am):** You’re what?

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 05 am):** Irritating the source of my distraction

 

“…”

 

 **My fair lady (04: 10 am):** Can I call you Regina?

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 10 am):** No

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 10 am):** I really need to talk to you.

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 11 am):** For Henry?

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 15 am):** No

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 15 am):** Still No Emma. Go to Sleep

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 16 am):** I want to talk For Henry, yes. Because what I want to talk affects him too. But it is not only why I want to talk. Please, let me call you. I need to hear your voice.

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 17 am):** Tomorrow.

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 17 am):** Why?

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 18 am):** Regina, it is already tomorrow, technically.

 

 

 **Back hole (04: 19 am):** Because if you really want to talk, it can wait. You’re tired and sleepy Emma, it is when you are most unguarded you say things you can never take back.

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 21 am):** I won’t say things I want to take back

 

 

 **Black hole** **(04: 25 am):** Well then perfect, good things come to those that wait.

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 25 am):** Fine. You really are _heartless_ you know that?

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 27 am):** Sleep well Emma

 

 

 **My fair lady (04: 28 am):** Sweet dreams Regina

 

 

……………………..

 

 

Regina knew she’d only be fooling herself if she believed she was going to manage getting in a few hours of much needed sleep tonight. A part of her wasn’t even sure why she was letting the blonde get away with all those texts. If Regina didn’t know better, it seemed like Emma was giving her mixed signals. Just hours ago she had made it perfectly clear she didn’t want to explore whatever unexplainable was inadvertently happening between the two of them, and yet now her texts seem to suggest otherwise.

 

 

Was it wise to indulge Emma when she was certain all it would get her was heartbreak and loneliness? Hadn’t she just toasted to ‘new dreams’ right after Emma had rejected her. So why was she replanting the seeds of her old dreams once again in her heart? They would only grow into weeds…

 

 

In that moment instinctively Regina found herself grabbing her phone and hitting the speed dial button for Jones. She stilled her mind for a moment and disconnected the call before it could connect. While she was thoroughly pleased to know that after so many years of living in different worlds, she finally could proudly state that she had someone who she could truly call her **_friend_** , she also knew that if she needed to know what the right thing to do here was, she had to follow her own advice.

 

 

She simply was going to wait until tomorrow morning and then decide if she really was going to talk to Emma Swan after all.

 

 

And not **_for Henry_** , but for **them**.

 

 

……………………………….

 

** THURSDAY **

**My fair lady (6: 03 am):** Regina, can I call you now?

 

**My fair lady (06: 15 am):** Ok, I hope the reason you haven’t answered your phone in the last 10 minutes was because you are sleeping or in the shower and certainly not because you are avoiding me.

 

**My fair lady (06: 25 am):** Seriously Regina, you have no idea what I’m capable of.

 

**Black hole (06: 29 am):** Miss Swan, I most certainly do. This is not the first time I’ve been subjected to your insanity. Makes me wonder if somehow the curse froze you mentally – that you are in fact a 13 year old.

 

_………………_

**My fair lady (06: 31 am):** Hey, why did you decline from receiving my call?

 

**Black hole (06: 35 am):** Whatever in my previous text told you that you could call me up?

 

**My fair lady (06: 37 am):** Apart from you being your usual bitchy self – which tells me you are wide awake, the fact that we had a deal for today? Hey did you forget what you told me last night?

 

**Black hole (06: 39 am):** More like this morning Emma. I can’t believe you woke up this early! Seems like NYC is finally making you grow up.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 40 am):** I didn’t sleep at all Regina. NYC is good but it can’t compete with StoryBrooke, sadly.

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 41 am):** Really? That is a first. Dare I ask, how Miss Swan?

 

**My fair lady (06: 43 am):** The Mayor of this city isn’t a stubborn, difficult, heartless, (actual) apple loving pain in the ass! Besides NYC’s Mayor doesn’t you know **like** me

 

**Black hole (06: 47 am):** I don’t like you either. ~~I do love you~~

 

**My fair lady (06: 48 am):** So you agree you are a stubborn, difficult, heartless, pain in the ass?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 50 am):** Emma, I have to go…

 

**My fair lady (06: 51 am):** Where to? It is just getting to be around 7 in the morning there!

 

**Black hole (06: 55 am):** Unlike a 13 year old, I am not on a vacation. I need to get ready for work.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 56 am):** But you said we’d talk and jesus christ how long does it take for you to dress up?

 

 

 **Black hole (07: 01 am):** I never committed to when; I merely said we would. Which we shall

 

**Black hole (07: 02 am):** Oh, and depends who I am dressing up for ;)

_………………_

**My fair lady calling (07: 02 am)**

__

__

“ Emma, I thought…”

 

 

 “What is that supposed to mean? Who do you have a meeting with today?”

 

 

“ Emma, I told you I don’t have the time to talk now”

 

 

“Who are you dressing up for today?”

 

 

“I didn’t say I was”

 

 

“Well if you need to start getting ready from 6.30 for an 8.30 office start, I presume that is what they mean by reading between the lines”

 

 

“I didn’t know you were capable enough to read the lines, forget reading between the lines”

 

 

“Well guess what I can spell spells too”

 

 

“Aah Miss Swan you are far too self-effacing. You actually are good at casting them too”

 

 

“Wait was that a…I don’t know… OMG compliment from the queen herself?”

 

 

“I’m no queen Miss Swan”

 

 

“Don’t Miss Swan me, I told you”

 

 

“Well I just did it a few seconds ago, and you didn’t seem to mind it”

 

 

“That was different. There is a difference in your tone when you’re being the playful Regina to when you’re being the cruella Regina”

 

 

“So now you are even good at reading people’s tones?”

 

 

“Not everyone’s to be honest. Just of people who happen to L.I.K.E me”

 

 

“I don’t like you Miss Swan” ~~I love you~~

 

 

“See that one sounds like you like me. There is a tilt of softness in it. You do like me Regina; actually I learned today that you also like my casting of spells”

 

 

“Hmmm…”

 

 

“Hey, wait a minute…that wasn’t you complimenting me! You were just trying to divert the topic…Jesus you’re so evil…”

 

 

“……..”

 

 

“Regina, I didn’t mean it like that. Evil is actually a nice word from where I used to come from…but Regina…Err…hello?”

 

 

“…..”

 

 

“For fuck’s sake woman I was just merely…what the heck wait a minute you’re just trying to muffle your giggling huh? Shit Regina this is really getting lame”

 

 

“Not really Emma. This is something that would never get old or boring…”

 

 

“So, tell me who is it that you’re getting dressed up for? Hook?”

 

 

“If I said yes”

 

 

“I’d tell you that you’re wasting your time. You deserve someone far better Regina”

 

 

“Because I’m such a good and pure soul”

 

 

“Because you are not your past”

 

 

“Neither is he”

 

 

“I can’t believe you are defending the guy who almost let you die!”

 

 

“I am surprised you think a woman, who has murdered thousands, cursed an entire kingdom for three decades, ripped out hearts and attempted to kill you and your family numerous times must see an insidious lecherous pirate as beneath her”

 

 

“That was the Evil Queen. You’re Regina. Enough with the self-loathing OK?”

 

 

“A rose by any name smells the same”

 

 

“And this is how you decide to quote Shakespeare really?”

 

 

“How else would you have wanted me to? I’m surprised you even registered it is from Shakespeare Miss Swan. Prisons stock up on good reading?”

 

 

“Actually, one of these foster homes I was at, the woman’s boyfriend was a Shakespeare aficionado. I must have been around 12 or so. Every evening after he got back from his factory shift – he used to work at a meat plant – he would summon the younger of the two boys –Gregory- to his room. Timothy would read aloud – either a poetry or passage - from one of his Shakespeare books to drown out the pleas and cries from ghosting itself into our room. It was the only thing that kept me sane, even though it was such a cowardly thing to do”

 

 

“Emma…I…I don’t think it was cowardly, you were after all just a child yourself”

 

 

“I don’t know. Timothy and I we just wanted to escape our demons and never once thought how Gregory could exorcise his own. It was pretty darn selfish if you ask me. Well, I’ve always been a very selfish person…until Henry came knocking that day”

 

 

“Rubbish…you are not selfish at all Miss Swan. In fact you are one of the most selfless people I have ever known.”

 

 

“Regina your fairytale world filled with assholes don’t for a good sample date make!”

 

 

“Regardless. Snow was from that world too.”

 

 

“Hmmm…you think my moth..Snow is selfless?”

 

 

“I’m no fan of your **mother** my dear, but even I can’t deny that is how Snow White has always been and to a fault too”

 

 

“Do you think you can ever come to not hating my mother?”

 

 

“I’m not sure Emma. I’ve never quite had to like someone who I’ve truly hated”

 

 

“But you like me. And you used to hate me”

 

 

“I never hated you. I wanted to believe that I did”

 

 

“So you **like** me huh?”

 

 

“Miss Swan I think I’ve put up with your prattle for far too long. I need to go”

 

 

“Wait Regina…before you go…umm…seriously, who were you dressing up for?”

 

 

“Good bye Emma”

 

 

“Yes, I better get going too. Henry will be up soon. Be ready for being bugged with my texts all day long. Remember we still need to talk”

 

 

“Pray what was it that we have been doing till now Miss Swan?”

 

 

“Bye Regina”

 

……………….

 

 

It has been 15 minutes since Regina had finished her call. She still however had been standing by the coffee maker smiling like a complete buffoon and basking in the bliss called Emma Swan.

 

 

…………………..

 

 

Regina had only stepped foot into Granny’s dinner that she felt her phone vibrate within her jacket pocket. A smile graced her face almost instantly as she let her right hand brush past the jacket pocket and turned up to see Ruby staring at her with a wicked gleam in her eyes. Not wanting to encourage any conversation she plopped herself in the nearest booth and motioned that it was going to be her usual order.

 

 

She retrieved the phone from her pocket and her smile immediately turned into a scowl when she realized that the message wasn’t from Emma. Her secretary, Mildred Krebs, had sent her a text informing her that the meeting for this morning had been postponed to post lunch. She apparently had tried to call her several times in the morning but Regina had refused to answer. The brunette did not want to be uprooted from the phenomenal high she found herself engulfed in after speaking with the blonde and so had avoided any other thoughts that did not involve a certain infuriating Emma Swan.

 

 

For a minute Regina contemplated whether she should text the blonde. Usually Emma never really let her guard down around the brunette. So the exchanges since the past few days had been really refreshing and oddly addictive. She found herself twiddling her thumbs over her the keys on her phone, but finally decided against it.

 

 

Tapping her fingers on the table she found herself feeling impatient that her order had not yet arrived. Once again her thoughts drifted towards sending a message to the blonde. What could she say though to sound casual and breezy? They had gone past the point of talking about the weather.

 

 

Henry?!

 

 Of course, the one person who they had always used as a buffer was perfect excuse. She could ask – more like reprimand – the blonde for having fed him an unhealthy breakfast. Because face it Emma wouldn’t have fed him anything nutritious.

 

 

But what if Emma saw right through it? The power balance would tilt in the blonde’s favor then; for surely she didn’t want Emma thinking that she was craving the savior’s communication. If there was something Regina knew she had to hold on to, then it had to be her pride – no matter how false it felt!

 

 

Sighing, she once again began tapping her fingers on the table and tore her eyes away from the phone that she had been cradling in her hands since the past few minutes.

_Just then_

**My fair lady (08: 27 am):** Missing your humble subject, your Majesty?

 

**Black hole (08: 28 am):** Stop deluding yourself Miss Swan. Unlike some people, I don’t have the luxury to indulge in frivolous tasks; it is a busy morning at work.

 

**My fair lady (08: 29 am):** If work entails being at the diner and tapping your fingers impatiently on the table waiting for my text, then I suppose you are indeed busy.

_How did she…._

Ruby placed her order of a cup of coffee (with brown sugar and milk) and a walnut croissant at her table – her eyes twinkling with mischief and her lips turning upwards into a tiny smirk.

 

 

Aah

 

 **Black hole (08: 30 am):** So now you’re having people spy on me? I thought you had more class than that Miss Swan.

 

**My fair lady (08: 31 am):** I’m glad you actually hold me in such high regard Regina. I thought you think of me to be nothing more than an idiot with the appetite of a 13 year old.

 

**Black hole (08: 32 am):** I do. But even idiots have class. At least you rank higher than your gene pool with regards to that.

 

**My fair lady (08: 32 am):** Was that a compliment?

 

**Black hole (08: 33 am):** Don’t make me reconsider Emma.

 

**My fair lady (08: 34 am):** _S_ houldn’t you be at work? Or is this your early morning date?

 

**Black hole (08: 35 am):** _I_ guess the apple can never really fall far from the tree after all.

 

**My fair lady (08: 36 am):** What is that supposed to mean?

 

**Black hole (08: 37 am):** Quit being an idiot. My meeting has been postponed until the afternoon.

 

**My fair lady (08: 37 am):** So there is no date? Nobody you are dressing up for? I think I can hear Hook in the background.

 

**Black hole (08: 38 am):** You are texting Emma. How on earth can you hear anything in the background?

 

 

 **My fair lady (08: 39 am):** Stop deflecting from the question. Besides, I have many other super powers you aren’t aware of.

 

**Black hole (08: 39 am):** Including acting stupid I presume?

 

**My fair lady (08: 40 am):** How am I acting stupid now?

**Black hole (08: 41 am):** Right I’m sorry, you aren’t acting. You **are** stupid.

 

**My fair lady (08: 42 am):** I’m not the one who is being paranoid and refusing to give a straight answer since this morning.

 

 

 **Black hole (08: 43 am):** You’re the one hearing background noises – no less of Jones - in your head, my dear.

 

 

 **My fair lady (08: 44 am):** So it isn’t Hook then?

**Black hole (08: 44 am):** _When did I say it was someone else?_

**My fair lady (08: 44 am):** So it is Hook!

**Black hole (08: 45 am):** I need to go now Emma. If the sounds in your head can stop, please see to it that my son has a breakfast that at least involves 2% nutrition.

**My fair lady (08: 46 am):** Regina, the kid is on a vacation. Not a boot camp. I’m not policing his eating habits, at least here.

 

**My fair lady (08: 47 am):** Don’t roll your eyes. Or waste your time glowering at me, I can’t see you remember :p

 

**Black hole (08: 47 am):** So we’ve established that you are indeed an idiot.

 

**My fair lady (08: 48 am):** Didn’t we already? But hey you **LIKE** this idiot! So…

 

**My fair lady (08: 49 am):** Have a good day at work Madam Mayor.

**My fair lady (08: 49 am):** Don’t miss me too much.

_……………………………….._

Regina was smiling into the cell phone and had indeed indulged in an eye roll and a glower as the blonde had predicted. She didn’t feel like saying goodbye to the Sheriff, but she knew it was time to go to work and a heap of papers must have already been set forth by Mildred at her table.

 

 

She raised her head – still beaming – to look out across the street and found that Snow White and her Prince Charming were making their way across towards the diner. Now even though Regina had somewhat developed a civil relationship – which meant not wanting to kill either of them by shooting fire balls - with the both of them, it was asking too much of her to spend the morning trying to be cordial and exchange pleasantries.

 

In a flash she grabbed her phone and the brown bag that held her order, racing out of her booth, watched by a confused Ruby glaring at her across the counter as she made her way out of the diner and towards the end of the street, but not before typing out a message to Emma with the phone held in her left hand.

 

 

 **Black hole (08: 51 am):** The person who I have dressed up for, sadly, can’t see me either ;)

 

 

………………………………………..

 

 

It had been a whole three hours since Regina had sent that text to Emma. The blonde however hadn’t replied back. The minute she sent it, Regina had begun to second guess if she did the right thing. Of course, it was worded in a way that didn’t necessarily hint at the brunette flirting with the blonde, but still a part of her was now worried if she had misconstrued Emma’s talks all along.

 

 

 

 Maybe the blonde had meant it when she spoke about just wanting to remain friends. The mixed signals were perhaps just a projection of Regina’s own greedy mind. Emma’s silence only compounded to her fears and anxiety.

_………………………_

 

**3 Missed calls** **My fair lady**

__

_**………………………..** _

__

__

**My fair lady (05: 49 pm):** Regina, my battery died out and Neal misplaced the charger somewhere. Stop being so god damn stubborn and answer your phone.

 

 

 **My fair lady (05:50 pm):** Oh, and you know we are in the 21 st century – you could always click a photo of yours and send it across ;)

 

 

Regina wasn’t ignoring Emma, it just so happened that she got so consumed with the budget meetings and amending the proposals that it hadn’t even occurred to check her phone that she had set to silent. There was no way though she could deny that the minute she saw the various notifications on her phone, her heart jumped into her throat like an expert acrobat. A smile broke on her face when she read the texts the blonde had sent her and without a moment’s hesitation leaned back in her chair and began typing into her phone

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 03 pm):** Miss Swan, I didn’t need to click a photo after all.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 04 pm):** What does that mean?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 07 pm):** I know your comprehension skills are worse than Henry’s but that was fairly simple, was it not?

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 09 pm):** Regina, who did you dress up for?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 13 pm):** I don’t think I remember agreeing to discuss my personal life.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 13 pm):** Then what have we been doing since two days?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 17 pm):** You have been Miss Swan, whether I liked it or not.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 21 pm):** So you are saying that I am bothering you?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 23 pm):** Infer as you would like to dear

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 24 pm):** Either I am or I am not. So what is it Regina?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 24 pm):** I told you Miss Swan, you can jump into any conclusions you like. It won’t be the first time.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 25 pm):** What the fuck does that mean now?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 25 pm):** I’m not your translator.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 26 pm):** Stop pretending like you don’t want this

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 26 pm):** Want what Miss Swan?

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 27 pm):** What Neal has?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 27 pm):** A potbelly and an undetected case of asthma?

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 27 pm):** Regina, I told you before, stop picking on Neal.

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 29 pm):** Trust me dear, nobody would’ve been gladder than I to have Neal never return back into our lives.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 29 pm):** And may I ask why that is?

 

  
  
 **Black hole (06: 30 pm):** Because the scumbag that he is, he deserved to have been eaten by an ogre.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 30 pm):** Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you? He is Henry’s father!

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 31 pm):** You’re right Miss Swan, even ogres though omnivores have some taste – they’d have spat him out. Just like he did you, when he left you to rot in jail for an apparently higher cause – a bunch of people who he knew nothing about.

 

  
 **Black hole (06: 32 pm):** And don’t you dare bring Henry into this – being a sperm donor doesn’t score points in this argument.

 

 **My fair lady (06: 33 pm):** **We** both know he is more than that now to Henry.You know what Regina, you’re just mad at him because he has what you want.

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 33 pm):** A carte blanche – when it comes to your and **my** son’s life?

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 33 pm):** **Our** son Regina. And you of all the people shouldn’t be judging Neal

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 34 pm):** No Miss Swan, I’m actually judging your decision making. The choices you make certainly don’t argue in your favor.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 34 pm):** That’s right. Considering since the past two days I’ve actually chosen to spend my entire time communicating with you.

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 35 pm):** I’m the exception, not the norm – always.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 35 pm):** Explains why you’ve always been alone all your life?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 36 pm):** Touché. At least I’m not the coward here Miss Swan

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 36 pm):** Because you’ve been brave enough to admit that you have enjoyed this – whatever this is – as much as I have Madam Mayor?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 37 pm):** You presume far too many things Sheriff, incorrectly I might add.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 38 pm):** Like when I falsely thought you are in love with me Your Majesty?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 39 pm):** Actually when you falsely assume being the Savior makes you worthy of everyone’s love – no matter whichever side it comes from, good or evil.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 40 pm):** Are you saying I am not worthy of your love?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 41 pm):** Shouldn’t you know the worth of loving yourself first?

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 41 pm):** Says the lady who is the poster woman for self-loathing?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 42 pm):** You forget I was the Evil Queen my dear. Besides my mother was no Snow White.

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 42 pm):** Yes, a mother I never had because of **your** curse.

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 43 pm):** Don’t blame me for your abandonment issues. I didn’t force Snow White to give you up Miss Swan

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 44 pm):** You left her no other choice Regina. If she could, she would have kept me. So me growing up without a mother is on you.

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 45 pm):** Did I make your ‘other’ mother choose to send you back when you were 3 years old too? You seem to have done fine just by yourself no?

 

 

 **My fair lady (06: 46 pm):** Why must you always be such a bitch Regina?

 

 

…………………….

 

As hard as she had tried, Regina couldn’t complete any of the pending paperwork. Her mind continuously wandered back to the blonde. She just didn’t realize when some harmless playful banter suddenly derailed into something more serious – serious enough to get the talkative blonde keep mum.

 

 

The brunette didn’t reply back to Emma not because she felt offended by Emma calling her a bitch, but because a part of her felt they were wading into dangerous territory. Of ownership and accountability toward each other, that which usually comes naturally between lovers? But Emma and she were not that, to be honest she wasn’t even sure if they were even friends. While Regina was completely certain that the blonde just didn’t hold platonic feelings for her, a part of her wondered if that was because Emma was getting manipulated into it.

 

 

She wanted Regina’s friendship so desperately, that she was willing to explore the option of being a lover too. But was that right? Even though Regina was playing no active role in the manipulation, she knew that sometimes even being a part of the equation could inadvertently hold you accountable too. For all their lives others had orchestrated the paths they took, and so Regina was adamant that this one time – the most important of them all – the choice must be theirs and theirs alone.

 

 

It was why she decided that once she would get back home, finish her chores for the night, complete her mandatory check-list for tomorrow, speak with Hook ( funny he wanted dating advice from her – blind leading the blind) take a shower and  once settled in for the night, she would pick up the phone and **call** the blonde.

 

 

Except, now that her fingers were hovering over the keypad she found them unwilling to hit the speed dial button assigned to StoryBrooke’s infuriating Sheriff.  
As usual her infamous pride had decided that it was going to come out and play tonight as long as it could. A part of her wondered why the blonde hadn’t even made an attempt to talk yet. To be honest, she had actually counted on the blonde’s resolve crumbling and a text or two to slip in, but apparently Emma’s pride had wanted to make a good match out of this.

 

 

Sighing, she tossed the phone across to the left side of her bed and pulled up her covers. If Emma didn’t care, why should she? Besides it was the blonde who called her a bitch and practically referred to Neal as a saint. Ok, now that she had managed to feel offended with the word, she was sure she could definitely go to sleep, for if one thing Regina had relied on all her existence to move forward as if nothing had happened, it had been her anger and her self-loathing. Tonight she had managed to invoke the former to a degree that would induce some deep sleep.

 

……………………………

 

Except, she didn’t count on how the guilt about actually having being a _bitch_ could easily bulldoze the anger she thought she felt towards the blonde. She shouldn’t have goaded Emma on and pricked at the blonde’s most vulnerable insecurity – her abandonment issue.

 

 

To hell with her pride

 

 

**Black hole (11:35 pm):** _Emma, I wasn’t being a bitch._

**Black hole (11:37 pm):** Emma, ok fine a little bit of a bitch.

 

 

 **Black hole (11:43 pm):** Emma, I know you aren’t asleep.

 

 

 **Black hole (11:37 pm):** Miss Swan, I can do this all day.

 

 

 **Black hole (11: 39 pm):** Wait, like you said, make that night.

 

 

 **Black hole (11:41 pm):** Ok, I guess we are approaching Friday. Oh, I have a long day at work ahead…

 

 

 **Black hole (11: 43 pm):** You’d be pleased to know I went to bed hungry – wasn’t in the mood to cook anything. Unlike you, I cannot even order room service.

 

 

 **Black hole (11: 50 pm):** I’ve never given anyone 10 missed calls in succession. This is utterly disturbing.

 

 

 **Black hole (11: 51 pm):** I think you need to change your caller tune too. Did I hear it right and was the Lollipop referring to…

 

 

 **Black hole (11: 55 pm):** Miss Swan, voicemail, really? Now who is being the mature one?

 

 

 **Black hole (11: 57 pm):** I’m tired; it was such an exhausting day at work…I’d like to hear your voice _Miss Swan_.

 

 

 **Black hole (11: 59 pm):** I don’t watch TV. So I’m wondering how to pass time while I wait for you to respond

 

 

 

** FRIDAY **

**  
**

**Black hole (12: 01 am):** I can’t believe you still watch the Disney channel!

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 04 am):** Secret: When I watched my fairytale avatar for the first time, I felt like a celebrity. I wanted to scream ‘Hey look, I’m on TV!! But well, I couldn’t share anything with anybody. I cast the curse, but I became one’

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 05 am):** I don’t believe I just told you that, I haven’t even had a drop of alcohol that I could blame that lapse of judgment on.

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 10 am):** If my heart breaks don’t feel bad – heartless bitch remember?

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 11 am):** I don’t think I ever felt challenged all those 28 years – then you came along and life became so exciting, I began to look forward to another brand new morning where I could click my stilettos against the Sheriff’s office floor and try to intimidate the hell out of you!

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 13 am):** My heels always made me feel powerful – like a queen. Now I guess I don’t feel the need to intimidate anyone (not that anyone would even if I tried)

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 16 am):** The Evil Queen is really creepy…I’m glad Henry never got to see her, although ironically it is all that he can see in me.

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 20 am):** For someone who is so scared why weren’t you ever afraid of me Emma?

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 27 am):** I can’t believe a rat is scarier than me! Really Miss Swan, you are afraid of a rat?

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 30 am):** Speaking of rats, I’ve never understood what you saw in that boyfriend of yours. Must be true love indeed.

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 33 am):** I think Snow was the prettiest too. Never understood why Disney reduced the monster in me into a narcissist **bitch**.

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 37 am):** I was so much darker and malevolent. I still am…

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 38 am):** We did have a fairytale version of a Botox actually. My mother used to drink the semen of a toad and apply the urine of lizards on her face because they apparently kept the skin youthful.

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 43 am):** Miss Swan, if I did have work done on me, would you find me less attractive?  The butt that you always stare at though is completely natural.

 

 

 **Black hole (12: 56 am):** I have though wondered about getting a breast enhancement. Mother always told me my breasts were too small and that men would never find me attractive.

 

 

 **Black hole (01: 03 am):** Which is why when I became the Evil queen I decided to wear clothes that highlighted and accentuated ample bosom and I am pleased to say not a single eye agreed with my mother. Including women old enough as I am now ;)

 

 

 **Black hole (01: 04 am):** I’mold enough for you to not stare at my buttthe way you do _Miss Swan_

 

 

 **Black hole (01: 05 am):** I can bet you are biting your lower lip and your skin is completely flushed as you read this.

 

 

 **Black hole (01: 07 am):** But if you really want to know my ‘age’ approximately 65? I haven’t celebrated my birthday in a long time. But yes, Snow would definitely feel, Cradle snatcher indeed Miss Swan

 

 

 **Black hole (01: 11 am):** I’ve kept my heart in very good condition all through these years Miss Swan. I dare say even you might have not given it the kind of workout I have ;)

 

 

 **Black hole (01: 12 am):** I’m pretty sure you aren’t heartless at all and wouldn’t like me to get into the specifics. Would you _Miss Swan_?

 

 

**1 Voicemail from Black hole (01: 15 am):**

“Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?” 

 

 

 **Black hole (01: 25 am):** I answered all your questions from the previous night – take it as my way of apologizing if you will. Good night Miss Swan.

 

 

……………………………….

 

 

 

In New York, a very pleased Emma was losing the battle of staying mad at Regina.

 

 

When she received the first text from Regina, she was mighty surprised. It was so unlike Regina.   She had never thought the brunette would be the first one to try and make peace after their fight. A fight which as always was silly and yet rooted in the truth.  


  
Emma was aware that Regina and her required to have a heart to heart about a lot of things. There were far too many unknown secrets in their life – which the other knew nothing of – and there were few known scars of their life – which they had inflicted on each other.

 

  
  
For far too long the blonde had only relied on Henry’s book as an answer to why Regina was the way she was. Then, as time offered her the luxury of understanding this complex woman, it began to dawn on her that underneath all those walls of self-preservation and anger the woman had built over the years, there was a very simple woman who wanted the most simplest of gifts one could ever receive – the gift of being loved.

 

 

On her part, Emma had already felt a shift in their dynamics ever since they had stopped the trigger from exploding in the mines, but she sensed that Regina had stopped fighting against the comforting normalcy between them ever since they returned back from Neverland. Although, with the return of Neal, things had gotten far more complicated than desired and once again Regina had begun to steadily build those walls high and high again.

 

 

This is why Emma wasn’t the slight bit offended when Regina started to purposely antagonize her. She knew the brunette’s coping mechanism was to shut down any progress that they had made until then and not build a bridge towards something concrete and real. The blonde had decided though that it was time to call out Regina on it. Which is why she refused to be the first one to shatter the silence between them.

 

 

 

However, Emma never expected Regina to be so open and honest. She couldn’t believe Regina was responding to every unanswered sms from last night and that the brunette had chosen to do them at the exact times Emma had sent them wasn’t lost on her either. She felt her heartbeat race every time her cell would beep in with a text from Regina.

 

 

After receiving a text, she had promised herself that she wouldn’t keep Regina waiting – after all she knew how miserable it felt waiting for a reply. But she found herself intrigued at the thought of when would Regina finally stop? Truth be told, she was hoping the stubborn woman would leave her a voicemail so that she could play on a loop that voice which made the universe within her sparkle and alive in an instant. And if Regina was in a really good mood, a sexy drawled Miss Swan would get added in. As much as she hated to accept it she found herself wishing those two words to tumble out of Regina’s lips very often these days.

 

 

When she received a voicemail from Regina, she wasn’t sure what she expected to hear, but she definitely didn’t expect the brunette to be quoting Shakespeare and certainly not what she had chosen to say. 

 

 

Perhaps it was time after all – to be brave or to be foolish.  
But it was time to call Regina Mills.

 

 

………………………………………………….

**My fair lady calling (02: 33 am)**

 

 

“ I didn’t think you would answer Regina”

 

“Yes Emma because I’ve been the quiet one over the past hour”

 

 

“Well what can I say, karma is a bitch”

 

 

“Oh, I thought I was the bitch”

 

 

“I live in a world where plenty of bitches co-exist”

 

 

“Of course, the poor brave Savior has such a tough life”

 

 

“Actually, I’m no longer the Savior considering the Evil Queen has now been reduced to -- at best an Evil Panda”

 

 

“Sheriff have you been watching Kung Fu Panda all day with Henry?”

 

 

“Merely stating the facts Madam Mayor. Pandas are very gentle and shy in the wild, but when in captivity they get resentful and dangerous.”

 

 

“There you go again _Miss Swan_ , justifying the darkness that lurks in me”

 

 

“I am not condoning your past choices Regina. Neither am I going to excuse you for choosing to act out in the present as you would have in the past. But…I…do and always have seen you only as Regina – Henry’s obnoxious, stubborn, intimidating, wonderful, strong and beautiful mother.”

 

 

“How is Henry doing?”

 

 

“He has been having such a good time. I think he really loves the city. I might have to drag him back to Storybrooke it seems”

 

 

“Hmmm…..”

 

 

“Regina, he does miss you”

 

 

“Please don’t do that Emma. I don’t seek reassurance”

 

 

“I’m not….I….kids can sometimes be self-absorbed with new places, things and people. I’m sure we were like that too.”

 

 

“I’m not sure if we even knew what it meant to be a kid”

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

“I don’t think either you or I were allowed to be children. For different reasons, we grew up too fast…too soon…”

 

 

“This is why it is important that we let Henry bask in its blessing”

 

 

“Indeed _Miss Swan”_

“………..”

 

 

“Emma…about being kids…I…when I spoke about your foster…I mean they must have been real idiots to give you back. I didn’t mean to….”

 

 

“It is ok Regina. I know you. I know you are afraid, but I think the next time let me be brave for the both of us”

 

 

“How are you going to accomplish that?”

 

 

“I am the Savior remember? I broke the curse and gave everyone their happy ending”

 

 

“What about yours?”

 

 

“Hmmm?”

 

 

“Did you get your happy ending Miss Swan?”

 

 

“I got Henry”

 

 

“You have Neal too”

 

 

“What is more important Regina – to want what you have or have what you want?”

 

 

“I didn’t know this was riddle hour”

 

 

“I wish I had all the answers.”

 

 

“Sometimes what we lack is the right question. The answer reveals itself easily then”

 

 

“So do you know what the question should be then?”

 

 

“Yes”

 

 

“Care to share?”

 

 

“No”

 

 

“Why not?”

 

 

“Because I know what I want and so in the question itself lays my answer”

 

 

“Ok then could you at least tell me what your question was?”

 

 

“Whose happiness matters the most?”

 

 

“Henry’s….”

 

 

“Miss Swan, I guess you have found your answer then”

 

 

“Regina…..”

 

 

“Emma, leave it be. I think I should get some sleep. I have a long day ahead. I just wanted to make sure you knew how sorry I am for….I suppose for everything too…including the curse and for snatching your childhood and the chance to be with your parents and have a good life. I am truly sorry for it all…”

 

 

“Thank you Regina”

 

 

“What for?”

 

 

“For reiterating my belief that you are no longer defined by your past and that your present isn’t bound to it.”

 

“…..”

 

 

“Regina, we all have done things in our lifetime which we aren’t too proud of or scars that we will always carry from a battle where we lost, but what is important is that we don’t carry those labels to our tombstones and those scars serve as reminders that we’ve only truly won if there was someone in our lives who helped us heal ours”

 

 

“You are lucky Miss Swan. There won’t be any dearth of people that would want to heal your wounds”

 

 

“I’d rather be a healer”

 

 

“Aah the Savior ego makes its guest appearance finally”

 

 

“You didn’t ask me whose wounds?”

 

 

“Haven’t you already healed him? You’ve even managed to unite father-son. Rumpelstiltskin chose Baelfire over power in Neverland. That healed an almost 300 year old raw wound Miss Swan. Impossible feat to have achieved _Miss Swan_ ”

 

 

“I don’t think I healed him. I think I merely stitched up some old wounds”

 

 

“Speaking of Neal, what is it that he wanted to do so urgently in NYC?”

 

 

“I don’t know Regina. I could have hardly bothered, but I thought it was my duty to be a …..”

 

 

“….supportive girlfriend”

 

 

“Besides Henry was just too excited to take the trip and I wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of letting him go all by himself with Neal. I’m not sure why…..”

 

 

“You made the right choice _Miss Swan_ ”

 

 

“I really don’t know if he has managed to find who he was looking for. I only know that Gol…Rumpelstiltskin has got him to do this favor”

 

 

“You don’t think this has got anything to do with magic or this is something dangerous Emma…”

 

 

“No, no Regina, relax. You think such a thing was probable I’d be risking bringing Henry out here?”

 

 

“I guess. Well one can’t be too careful or too trusting of that imp”

 

 

“I know it is improbable for you to trust Gold ever, but Regina people do change. I think love has helped him balance out the darkness within, just as…”

 

 

“I have?”

 

 

“I was going to say Hook…Speaking of Hook, you still haven’t told me who were you dressing up for?”

 

 

“Good night Miss Swan”

 

 

“We still need to have “the talk” Regina, I haven’t forgotten”

 

 

“Neither have I dear. Tomorrow. Sleep well Emma”

 

 

“This bud of love by summer’s ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet”

 

“…..”

 

“Good night Regina”

 

 

……………………….

 

 

 **Black hole (04: 17 am):** It is the 21st century right?

 

 

**1 MMS from Black hole (04: 18 am)**

**………………………………………………………….**

 

 

Somewhere in NYC a certain blonde Sheriff found her breath got caught in her throat as she looked at a picture of a certain brunette Mayor dressed up in a purple silk shirt and black suit come alive on her phone screen.

 

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 **My fair lady (05: 53 am):** Regina, can I call you now?

 

 

 **Black hole (06: 03 am):** Good morning to you too Emma. How are you even awake this early?

 

 

_**My fair lady calling (06: 03 am)** _

 

 

“I would have caught a decent wink if somebody didn’t send me a picture of them looking all…Jesus Christ.. Reginayou…”

 

“Miss Swan I have pulled off many looks before, but Jesus Christ? I really think my hair is much shorter for that…”

 

“Regina you are so beautiful”

 

“…..”

 

 

“Did I say something wrong?”

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“…..”

 

 

 

“No, it’s just…I don’t remember the last time someone called me beautiful and I didn’t internally smirk at how easily I could make them a pawn in my game of power and revenge.”

 

 

 

“So why aren’t you smirking now? Even the Savior can’t resist your charms. For the record, I’m more than willing to be putty in your hands.”

 

 

 

“Why is that Emma? Don’t you see how absurd this whole thing is?”

 

 

“Don’t you think that getting back together with Neal was absurd too?”

 

 

“That wasn’t absurd Miss Swan. That was incredibly stupid and disappointing.”

 

 

“Yet when that was happening you didn’t voice your opinion.”

 

 

“Why should I have? It was not my business to tell you how you’ve become an idiot too after living with the other two idiots.”

 

 

“Regina, I am asking you now.”

 

 

“Yes Emma you are an idiot.”

 

 

“Ugh, no, why do you not feel as powerful as you normally would have, at being called beautiful.”

 

 

“It was a compliment _Miss Swan_ , not an insult.”

 

 

“You’re evading again Regina.”

 

 

“Well if I remember correctly, the last time we were speeding down the confession pathway, you were content with being the speed breaker yourself.”

 

 

“My leg is on the accelerator this time.”

 

 

“I don’t see how that has changed anything! Remember Henry? You said it yourself, he wants you with Neal – he deserves a traditional family.”

 

 

“God, there you go again”

 

 

“Pardon me?”

 

 

“You accused me of being the coward Regina. I think you’ve perfected the art of cowardice yourself.”

 

 

“I’m no coward Miss Swan! I’m not the one sleeping with someone to feel something so that I can forget about someone I am actually feeling something for!”

 

 

 

“Wow, so that’s what you’ve been doing when you were avoiding me – interning with Dr Hopper eh? Wait should I lie down on the couch before you proceed with this session?”

 

 

“I really can’t comprehend why you are angry? I thought we both agreed on what is best _for Henry_.”

 

 

“No, I suggested what was best **for** Henry. You merely resigned to it. Jesus Christ Regina, you didn’t even fight me back on it – not even once.”

 

 

“You wanted me to bulldoze my way through that conversation? Can you hear yourself? I did the right thing by you and you’re upset at me over not being selfish for once?”

 

 

“See that is it. You chose to be selfless when it came to us?”

 

 

“Are you drunk Emma?”

 

 

“You went batshit crazy Evil Queen and cast a curse because you lost Daniel! Regina, leave alone trying to fight for us, you didn’t even try to stop me when I gave you the easy way out. “

 

 

“Oh God, I think I need to be drunk for this.”

 

 

“Stop patronizing Regina.”

 

 

“I’m not. I just don’t think you are in any position to feel victimized here.”

 

 

“Why because you want to hold on to your martyr complex?”

 

 

“No because you’re the one who ran into the arms of her boyfriend - in spite of everything that occurred between us in Neverland - the minute he popped back into your universe. Because you’re the one who didn’t feel rejected and incompetent. Because you’re the one who spent birthdays and festivals in the protective and blissful environment of a loving family. Because you’re the one who didn’t spend torturous days watching the woman you love, being loved in the arms of another and you’re not the one who lay in your bed all alone at night trying to numb the feeling of pain and betrayal it birthed. So NO MISS SWAN, you don’t get to play the victim.”

 

 

“Regina, you…you… _love_ me?”

 

 

 

 “Couldn’t you always see it in my eyes Emma – in the way I looked at you?”

 

 

 

“I…I…”

 

 

“You don’t have to say anything Emma. I..I realize you don’t feel the same way for me, but I just want you to know that for long I believed I couldn’t love anyone after Daniel, actually, that I didn’t deserve to love again – but then in Neverland when I was stripped off the one source of all my power and defense – my magic – I realized I was brimming with another kind of magic – my heart was filled with love. Love for you, for this world, for myself…”

 

 

“Regina…Th..”

 

“Ssssh…I know you’re confused. I don’t want to compound to it by what I’m about to say, but Emma I need to say this now for you are right, I have indeed perfected the art of cowardice. So be brave for both of us and please hang up after…….  
I don’t need to be loved back _Miss Swan_. But I feel worthy enough to love you Emma….Yes, I do love you and unapologetically always will ….”

 

……………………………..

 

 

Regina had expected that Emma would hang up the phone as was asked of her, but what she didn’t expect was how stupid and full of despair she was going to feel. She was feeling so overwhelmed with her own set of conflicting emotions that a wave of nausea hit her and she found herself lifting up the toilet seat and dry heaving into it. Thankfully Emma had called in too early for her to have finished eating her breakfast and turns out confessing your love is an appetite killer.

 

She glanced at the clock on her phone – 8.03 am. It had been an hour since Emma hung up. Regina shot a quick text to her secretary Mildred Krebs, asking her to cancel all her appointments for the day and after one last look at her phone switched it off…

 

……………………………….

 

** Saturday **

**(03 : 33 am)**

A flood of texts bombarded the inbox of a sleepless Regina, when she finally switched her phone back on.

 

 

 **My fair lady (09: 27 am):** Fuck you Regina. Seriously, switching off your phone – back to being really mature are we?

 

 **  
** **My fair lady (09: 29 am):** Like you asked, I was just respecting your wishes. But then this fucking battery of mine died out and I couldn’t find the fucking charger, fuck Neal for fucking turning this hotel room into a fucking dumpster. But fuck you for now having switched off your phone when I’ve finally plugged this fucking phone into the fucking socket and Regina I fucking hate you for this

 

**My fair lady (09: 35 am):** What the fucking fuck, you haven’t gone to work? Mildred said you cancelled all your appointments and now I don’t know how on earth I can get through.

 

**My fair lady (09: 47 am):** I called Hook. Yeah imagine how desperate I am Regina. He refused to help me out. Who the fuck does he think he is – your guardian? He told me to stop hurting you. I can’t believe you discuss ‘us’ with him!

 

**My fair lady (09: 55 am):** How on earth am I supposed to find you Regina? If I could I would have teleported myself right now to StoryBrooke.

 

**My fair lady (10: 30 am):** Good I can’t though because I’m so mad at you right now, that I would literally punch you in the face.

 

 

 **My fair lady (10: 37 am):** Ok no, when I get back to StoryBrooke you’re going to teach me how to channel my magic exactly the way I want to. I just broke a lamp here and almost flung Neal off the 13th floor because I can’t seem to contain this burst of energy from darting off of me every time I think of you.

**My fair lady (11: 17 am):** Please turn on your phone Regina. You need to get these messages.

 

**My fair lady (12: 03 pm):** I’m losing my mind

 

**My fair lady (12: 49 pm):** You said you felt worthy of loving me. But you don’t think I’m worthy of your trust. Why do you always let anger guide you first? I thought we had made enough progress through these days for you to place my vulnerabilities above your insecurities. Isn’t that what love is really all about – giving the other person the benefit of the doubt first?

 

**My fair lady (01: 26 pm):** I hate that you’re pushing me to do something I don’t want to.

**My fair lady (01: 47 pm):** And before you think the worse of me, it isn’t what your mind is racing towards. I just for once wanted to be able to be in control of the way my life is unraveling.

 

**My fair lady (02: 33 pm):** Fine if this is how you want it – I think I am going to let you win. Just let me order some lunch for Henry and be ready to hear everything I didn’t say because YOU asked me to

 

**My fair lady (02: 40 pm):** I didn’t want to do this over the phone and certainly not by a text. But you have left me with no choice. While I’ve enjoyed the safe haven that this distance has provided me with, so that I was able to really talk to you, without my fears swallowing back all my words, I wanted to say all of what I’m going to say to your face Regina.

 

**My fair lady (02: 43 pm):** I am going to say the most important thing I’ve ever said to the one person who hasn’t defined me or wanted me to. I wanted to feel my heart threatening to explode out of my chest (not that it isn’t now) because if it did indeed happen, the last thing I would see would be myself in the universe of your warm brown eyes. That would be perfect, because I would have then chosen my happy ending.

 

**My fair lady (02: 58 pm):** I thought you’d have understood that more than anyone – how confusing it must be to find something you were not even looking for, and then scared as fuck when you realize it was what you were missing all your life?

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 03 pm):** Until we’ve really forgiven someone’s darkness, we truly can never know what love is. Regina, you’ve always spoken about yours, but I have my own demons too. I might be the Savior to everyone else, but frankly Regina I feel the need to be saved too. From the darkness within me that consumes every inch of my sanity at times because I don’t really know how to truly love and allowed to be loved in return.

**My fair lady (03: 07 pm):** How can you love me when you haven’t even known my darkness?

 

**My fair lady (03: 09 pm):** We’re the same like that. It is just that while I became a refugee in mine, you made a home out of yours. But what happens now? Can we both stop letting the shadows of our past eclipse the reality of our present?

 

**My fair lady (03: 13 pm):** Everyone defines you by your past but I’ve always been held accountable by my future. Can we both really migrate to a place in the present where we both look at the same sky? Will you trust me enough Regina? Will I be brave enough Regina?

 

**My fair lady (03: 15 pm):** Of course I feel something so strong for you Regina that runs deeper than friendship or the gratitude for raising Henry into the wonderful boy that he but is it strong enough to be called love right now?

 

**My fair lady (03: 21 pm):** I can’t lie – I really feel shaken by doubts Regina. Not about us, but about the universe that will unfold around us. Will Henry be happy with this? Is it fair to my parents?

**My fair lady (03: 27 pm):** What about Neal – he is my first love. If Daniel were to come back Regina, who would you choose between him and me? You became the Evil Queen for him. Don’t I at least owe Neal, the Emma he could have kept for himself, but didn’t?

 

 

 **My fair lady (03: 33 pm):** But how can I walk away from ‘us’ when every time my mind drifts it finds its way only to you. How can I be certain of our unhappiness because I’m uncertain about everyone else’s happiness? How can I let someone else sing to my heart when it only beats to the rhythm of your voice? How can I be the reason for your tears when I let your smile live in my eyes? How can I make my world with someone else when I have the privilege of being a star in your universe?

 

**My fair lady (03: 37 pm):** The most difficult question for you to ask was can you let me in your heart. The most difficult answer for me to give is if I can choose to walk away from yours.

 

**My fair lady (03: 40 pm):** I need time to answer that Regina -- when I’m not missing you in a very desperate human way. Now is not that time. This is not how I want to do it. I need to be sure I won’t resent it.

 

 **My fair lady (03: 42 pm):** So I need you to be generous and wait till I get back home tomorrow. Because I promise you when you see me, I will no longer be plagued by the question of who is in my heart.

 

**  
****My fair lady (04: 14 pm):** I need to go now, Neal needs my help – he has finally found who/what he was looking for. I’ve always admired his persistence and ability to hold on. Hopefully by the time we’re done, you have stopped being the difficult person that you are and have read these messages. I’ll call you once I get back.

 

**My fair lady (04: 45 pm):** Oh and I was going to say this before you cut me off then – Thank you Regina, for loving me. No matter what, I hope you shall always let this love burn as a blessing in your heart and not fester it as a wound that will push it into the alleys of darkness.

 

**1 MMS from My fair lady (05: 35 pm)**

It was a picture of Henry kissing a cardboard cutout of the Evil Queen in the Disney section of a DVD/Merchandise store with the caption ‘Like mother like kid ;)’

 

 

……………………..

 

 

Regina was too overwhelmed with the continuous inflow of pending messages to actually form any coherent thought in her mind. She waited patiently for a couple of truncated messages to push into her phone in its entirety, as her mind began to wander back towards the Savior.

 

 

This time she felt hopeful than her usual pessimistic self. She had read and re-read all the messages that the blonde had sent. It was so uncharacteristic of someone as closed off and non-talkative as the blonde to be so earnest and say so much. Regina too had agreed with Emma about how not being face to face gave them the freedom to explore and vocalize their emotions with reckless abandon, something which neither of them would otherwise have.

 

 

She was taken aback by Emma’s honesty and her willingness to no longer go back and forth and dance around this unexplainable but persistent energy that pulled them together, even if they tried moving apart. Emma had acknowledged that she felt something more than platonic for Regina, and that even though the Savior wasn’t in love with her, yet, for now she was more than happy that her love wasn’t rejected. Regina was absolutely certain she was truly, madly and deeply in love with Emma and therefore found herself readily acceding to Emma’s request of waiting until the Savior had found the right answer to an unexpected question.

 

 

All of a sudden she felt consumed by this need to hear Emma’s voice and to memorize the interval between each breath as she spoke, for when the Savior was angry she often ended up gasping and breathless between words. Even when they were just trying to get under the other’s skin, Regina had found that very endearing and truth be told arousing.

 

 

Regina decided that she was going to call Emma up and apologize – once again – for overreacting and to tell her that she was willing to wait. She found hope flutter around her chest like a butterfly seeking nectar from one flower to the other. Things were finally working out for her and love had finally decided to come knocking – this time she was going to be ready and willing to answer.

 

  
Her thoughts suddenly strayed towards the lack of any messages post 6.30 pm. Hadn’t Emma said that she would come back after completing the assignment that Neal was about to wind up and call her. Had she tried and gotten angry because Regina’s cell was still switched off? Would it be too late to call her now? If one thing Regina knew with certainty then it was that the last thing on the Savior’s mind would be a good night’s sleep.

 

 

With a sudden surge of confidence and a splash of excitement trickling through her veins, she picked up her phone and called up Emma.

 

 

………………………………

 

 

Why had Emma switched her phone off? Did her batter die off again? Regina made a mental note of going to the store and buying Emma a new phone. Now she could freely shower gifts on the Savior without having to make me terrible excuses or leave it as a goodwill gesture from some random townsfolk happy with the service of the Sheriff.

 

 

Regina almost squealed with excitement when her phone beeped with the notification of two messages. Her heart began to thunder violently as she saw her screen flash

**2 new messages My fair lady**

**My fair lady (11: 35 pm):** Mom, it is me Henry! Been trying to call you since such a long time now, but your phone says switched off. Dad proposed to Emma tonight Mom! Finally, everyone is going to get their happy ending! I’m so happy. I’ll see you tomorrow mom. Good night

 

**My fair lady (11: 35 pm):** Oh and I am going to be the best man at their wedding!!!!

 

**……………………**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I would like to apologize to anyone who is still reading this story for such a delayed update. Apart from real life consuming my free time, I think I was extremely disappointed with how a larger part of the SWEN family decided to shame their own into silence post the events of panelgeddon.
> 
> I won’t be watching the show anymore – cannot support a cast and crew that is so entirely dismissive of a fandom - but I think I shall continue to protest and defy by queering the heck out of these two characters. They can’t take away our Emma and Regina, they can only reduce their Emma and Regina into just caricatures of what otherwise would have been epic characters – by themselves and together with each other.
> 
> I’ve used a different method to carry forward the story in this chapter. My apologies if it just does not resonate with your reader voice as much as it did with my writer voice.


	8. Intentional Lovers

She wasn’t brooding in some corner of her huge empty mansion, nor was she drowning her sorrows at the bottom of a whiskey glass and neither was she seeking refuge in her constant companion – anger. Instead what she chose to do was something she had done only once ever before, when Emma had accused her of killing Archie, shattering all those fragile layers of hope she had let assemble within her slowly, she went into hiding.

 

 

  
It had been more than a week since Emma, Henry and Neal had returned back from New York and a week that must have seen the entire town celebrate as if a fairytale had just come into fruition. But Regina wasn’t ready – actually she would never be – to face the happy family and watch the woman she loves be cherished by another. So instead of facing her problems, Regina decided to escape them.

 

 

Nobody knew of this place – it was a safe haven of sorts across her father’s tomb. She had set it up as a means to escape her own emotions on days she couldn’t find the courage to visit her father but most needed to be around him. So Regina would watch from a distance and wait until the demons within her buried themselves inside her stoned heart once again, as she went back to resume her masked Mayoral self.

 

 

She had seen Hook frequent her father’s tomb more often than not with Ruby in tow – oh that damn wolf always poked her nose where it wasn’t needed – trying to ascertain Regina’s whereabouts. Even though he hadn’t known her long enough, he knew the pain they both shared intimately enough to establish that Regina had to be somewhere around the one source of comfort Regina always turned back to.

 

 

It was why she had cast a spell of anosmia within meters of the graveyard from where her hiding spot began. But to her unbidden amusement Hook just refused to give up and would come to the graveyard day after day – since she had gone missing – stumbling over tombs and steps, while Ruby broke into a fit of giggle every time he sat up and scratched his head with the hook. A part of her was relieved that at least somebody truly missed her when she was away.

 

 

However that didn’t douse the fire of self-pity that had been ravaging her ever since she read Henry’s text. She was afraid Hook would mock at her, his dark black outlined eyes, dancing with pity and arrogance, screaming I told you so. Regina could put up with mockery but she didn’t need anyone’s pity and certainly not because of the Savior.

 

 

 It had been bad enough that Regina had foolishly loved the woman who broke her curse and was destined to ruin her in ways Regina willingly submitted herself to, but to have her life dismantled into a story of almosts was the kind of humiliation worse than any imaginable curse.

 

 

Twice she spotted Henry furiously searching all around the tomb, screaming and yelling out her name until his voice got hoarse and the sky got dark. The first time he had come his grandparents were in tow, glancing at each other silently and trying to comfort him when all that was returned back to him was the silence of the departed souls. Snow had been the one to gently tug at his arm and pull him back towards the pathway, comforting him and telling him things Regina couldn’t hear but assumed were hollow words of reassurance. David however to Regina’s surprise returned the next day to carry out a search operation of his own. He looked positively troubled and for a minute Regina thought being cooped in this small room for long had resulted in her hallucinating.

 

 

What however disconcerted the most was when two days ago, Henry had shown up with Emma and while Henry resumed his usual routine of yelling out for her, Emma just stood next to the entrance, her eyes downcast, fidgeting with the hem of her leather jacket and waiting patiently until Henry had finally decided Regina wasn’t around. It made Regina seethe in anger, looking at how completely put together Emma seemed.

 

 

She thought at least a part of Emma should have been wallowing in some form of guilt or concern. Instead she was taken aback to see an indifferent Emma. Just the pain from that reaction alone had made her retreat back into the small hiding place – underground, and burrow herself like a rodent who the world always shuns as an outcast.

 

                                               

           

 

                                                     x-x-x

 

 

 

 

On the 13th day however, like everything else with Regina Mills, a sudden impulse to not care a hoot about anything or anyone rippled within her and so without a further thought, she stepped out of her ratty hiding place and walked out in to the streets of StoryBrooke as the birds had just begun to chirp out and the sun was spreading its golden hues across the dimly lit dark sky.

 

  
  
She could have magicked herself into her mansion, but after living like a prisoner for so many days, her legs seemed to have developed a mind of their own and she found herself marching forward towards Maine Street. Because it was fairly early, she hadn’t expected to bump into anybody on the street and therefore was unprepared when her heels gave away as she collided headlong into a body, bracing herself for a heavy impact against the cemented pathway.

 

 

To her surprise though, strong muscular arms had latched on to her, like a goalie who on some superhero instinct grabs a ball at full time from lunging past into the net. The strong smell of his cologne permeated her senses, leaving her gasping for some fresh air.

 

 

“Woah, don’t worry I’ve got you” the tone seemed friendly but detached and Regina couldn’t help but look up into those dark black eyes and politely smile back.

 

 

 

“I am sorry, I wasn’t looking…”

 

 

 

“No need to be” he had cut her off mid-sentence and by now had retreated his arms back, stuffing them into the pocket of his black denims “it was my fault to be honest. I am new here….well actually I’m lost and so was just wandering aimlessly trying to find someone who’d help me with directions; which is why I didn’t pay attention to the road ahead of me”

 

 

 

Wait, did he say lost? The whole Greg alarm went off in Regina’s head and suddenly her entire body language took a different turn. She stood up in that authoritative mayoral way she did, jutting her chin out; tucking back a few strands of loose hair behind her ear, she extended her arm out “Hello, my name is Regina Mills and I am the mayor of this town, Storybrooke. How may I help you?”

 

 

 

“Storybrooke? God what kind of a funny name is that? I don’t remember reading it in any of the books back in school.”

 

 

 

While his tone came across as boorish, Regina saw that his eyes held gentleness in them, betraying the reality of how nervous and anxious he indeed was. She found herself amused and curious about how people sometimes can universally be so alike one another and yet only through our differences can we notice and acknowledge those layers of masks we tend to put on.

 

 

 

 

“I’m afraid if you have a problem with the name, I am not the person you should be taking that up with. But I must tell you the kids here appreciate the name far more than they do Mississippi”

 

 

 

Looking at the perplexed face in front of her she licked her lower lip and raised her palms in front of him “I mean easier to spell come exam time?”

 

 

 

It earned her a light chuckle and Regina found an unbidden smile creeping upon her lips. Was she flirting? Oh god no, he was no threat, well at least that was what her instincts were screaming, so really there wasn’t a need to exert her power through her sensuality.

 

 

 

“What are you doing here anyway Mr…”

 

 

 

“Call me Rob. I was on my way passing through Maine – am traveling to catch up with my brother in New Hampshire, but then suddenly I had a flat tyre and this seems like the middle of nowhere because it doesn’t come up on my map or my GPRS cannot seem to track anything around here – perhaps it is broken…so I was just looking for a place where I could get my car fixed, grab a coffee or so and be out of here as soon as possible”

 

 

 

He was a fast speaker and by the time he finished talking Regina felt herself to be out of breath. She eyed him suspiciously but looking at his simple navy blue shirt (there was a logo there beneath which the faded letters of some archery club in white were printed) tucked into his denims and his thick bordered blue frame spectacles, the man seemed to be more of a nerd than anything else. However there was something about the way his gaze lingered on the street as if he was expecting someone else to come by and help him.

 

 

 

The impatience to get moving that was rocking his body slightly, made Regina feel that the man had indeed accidentally wandered into town and was no threat whatsoever.

 

 

 

“Well I can call for help – to get your car fixed I mean. And if you’re looking for a cup of coffee – decent enough to keep you awake until a few miles – a few blocks away there is a diner.” She pushes at her sleeve to have a peek at her watch and then paused before smiling back at him “It should be open but don’t go expecting for any Starbucks though”

 

 

For some unfathomable reason her heels give away again and as she was mid-way of an eye-roll, she felt l one of his arms grab hers, while another holds on to her back steadying her.

 

 

Before she can once again utter a thank you, she feels his grip tighten as both of them are suddenly taken aback by the sound of a very loud and what seems like a very angry Hook.

 

 

 

“Get your filthy arms off of her you bastard, or you’ll not have any remaining”

 

 

For a moment Regina thought this was all some bad dream. That the delirium of having spent so many days tucked away hiding had indeed caught up. Because she couldn’t fathom what was it that had made Jones activate his Hulk avatar. All that was missing was some green paint.

 

 

 

“Regina love, are you OK?” she found Hook grabbing on to her right arm as he aggressively used his hook to latch on to Rob’s arm and tug it away.

 

 

 

“Hey man watch it” Rob yelled as he began to rub at his skin that been scratched from Hook’s pointed, well, hook “Seriously where is this place? Crazy land?”

 

 

 

Regina was certain if it came to punches and blows, Rob would have Hook passed out on the floor in no time. Before Jones opened his  mouth to say anything foolish she quickly dived in between the two men and held her arm out towards Hook “Ok Jones relax. I am all right”

 

 

 

“But Regina….who is this joker?”

 

 

“Says the man who has a hook attached to his arm” Rob scoffed.

 

 

 

“If you’d like I’d attach it to some other anatomy of yours” Regina could see the fury shining through Hook’s eyes as he spat the words

 

 

 

“While I do see you’ve gone overboard with the eyeliner, I’d just want to inform you that I prefer the ladies only”

 

 

 

Regina felt Hook lunging forwards to punch Rob but she had anticipated the move quickly enough and was able to throw him off his course. “Hook! Stop this. This is ridiculous”

 

 

 

“Yeah guyliner, listen to your girlfriend” Rob winked as he scratched at his relatively new stubble “ You don’t want your make-up to be smudged because of all the crying you’re going to do when I kick your ass to hell”

 

 

 

In a flash of lightning Hook had come charging towards Rob and Regina once again had to intercept him as she glared at Rob “Enough! Rob, I think you should leave now. I shall call the mechanic and he will get your car fixed as soon as possible. The diner is a few miles from here. Take the left when you reach the bend of the road near the oak tree…you should find it easily from there”

 

 

  
With a two finger salute directed at Regina, he began to walk away from the duo, but not before yelling “Bye Guyliner” and chuckling loudly to himself.

 

 

 

Regina’s grip around Hook was still tight and she couldn’t help but break into a fit of hearty laughter when Rob had vanished away from sight.

 

 

 

“I fail to see what is so bloody funny in all of this Your Majesty” Hook’s eyes were dark with hurt

 

 

 

“Oh, c’mon Jones. What had gotten into you there? Did I look like I was some damsel in distress?”

 

 

 

She let go of her tight grip and loosely linked their arms “Come let’s walk. You know I never thought I’d ever say this, but I missed you Captain”

 

 

 

It was all that took for a devilish grin to grace Hook’s face. He raised an eyebrow and pulled her arm closer into his “Well I am quite a drug – the addiction can only truly be known when I am not around, you see my lady”

 

 

 

“Jones, I was…I just wanted a break and….” Regina was stuttering and trying to find the right words to say to a friend who she knew had been filled with concern and worry for her, so much so that he had shown up every day at her father’s tomb – sometimes Ruby in tow, sometimes not – and as she had just registered was making his way this morning towards there yet again.

 

 

 

“Ssssh love, you don’t need to give me any explanations. When the Sheriff didn’t give me any time of the day, I was heartbroken myself. It wasn’t whether I deserved her or not, or if it mattered whether she truly was capable of abandoning her Savior complex, the hurt settled in nonetheless, like a thousand swords being jabbed all at once in your heart, with the wound festering for what seemed like eternity.”

 

 

 

Hook sighed before continuing “But you know I chose to **talk** about it with people that I knew would understand and be in solidarity, rather than bottle all of it up or feel ashamed about feeling something that perhaps I shouldn’t have felt for the Savior, because the thing is, at that point, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t choose not to.”

 

 

  
She wondered if it was a jibe at her disappearance and withdrawal from the world for the past 13 days now. It wasn’t that he had no right to be mad at her, she knew it was not fair on him, after all he had been nothing but supportive and respectful towards her since these past few months – as a friend, a human being, and especially as someone who understood the impossibility of not loving Emma Swan.

 

 

 

Before she could apologize, Hook side eyed her and gave her arm a tight squeeze “Look Regina, I am not saying any of this to make you feel guilty or bad yeah? It’s just that I’ve been terribly frazzled wondering if you’re doing well and what on earth had upset you so much so as to disappear without just letting anybody know that you are all right!”

 

 

 

“There were just some things I don’t think I would have handled very well if I had been in town and around people Jones. I..I..I think for long now my mind was addled with all these feelings, feelings that I knew were not going to be reciprocated but I think in my own hunger for my much longed for happy endings, I clung to the hope that perhaps I just wasn’t sensing things my mind wanted to. That maybe my heart would be held back with as much care and reverence as I had done someone’s, but I think hearts like mine are too dark and cold to be held and find the acceptance it seeks. No second chances for people like us Captain”

 

 

“Hmmm….I’ve never particularly been good with riddles Your Majesty” Hook stopped walking and turned towards Regina who was surprised with the abrupt halt “ But I have to disagree about the second chances” he smiled wickedly and started walking again, with their arms still locked.

 

 

 

“Aah things are going good with Miss Lucas then I presume” she poked him slightly in the ribs and rolled her eyes when he dramatically yelled an Ouch.

 

 

 

“Well, I can’t say otherwise. I think for once I don’t feel like I need to prove myself to her. I think I have already told you this before. We both come with our set of demons that we’ve managed to cage inside of us. Doesn’t matter who has how many more, at the end of the day, we both just know it is OK to not be the perfect fairytale character  that some of them in this town are!”

 

 

 

Regina at that moment envied him and his relationship with Ruby. She couldn’t argue that being with someone who had ‘issues’ would make the whole love-game seem less complicated and burdensome than what she currently felt. After all no matter how much she atoned for her sins and practiced repentance – from now until the rest of her life – she would forever be unworthy of the Savior’s good and pure heart.

 

 

 It was a battle that she could never win and it was this resignation within her ever since she read Henry’s text, which made her flee the town and escape her problems.

 

 

 

 

“You’re thinking again?” Hook’s voice jolted her out of her thoughts “I thought these god damn 12 days should have been more than enough for that”

 

 

 

She just gave him a smile but kept quiet, her eyes downcast on the road ahead of her and her mind suddenly panicking at the thought of having to face real life again, now that they were almost near the bend of the road that would lead them towards her mansion.

 

 

 

For the rest of their journey both of them remained silent, just enjoying the cool morning air and listening to the universe waking into the mouth of the morning sun. As they approached her mansion’s gate, Regina slowly pulled out her locked arm and smiled warmly, her voice deeper as if filled with the heaviness of gratitude “Thank you Jones. For being the friend that I didn’t”

 

 

 

She got a smile in return and couldn’t help but lean in and embrace him in a genuine hug. She felt his arms hold her but then a second later he seemed distracted and began looking around as if he had spotted someone.

 

 

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

 

 

“Nothing, I just thought I saw the joker back there”

 

 

 

Regina turned around to only see an empty street in front of her. Smirking she exclaimed “I hope he hasn’t really charmed you so soon, I didn’t know you swung both ways too Jones!”

 

 

 

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous” he scoffed “Be careful Regina. I just don’t trust that man. Something very slimy about him, just like that other bastard from out of town – Greg”

 

 

 

The mention of Greg suddenly got Hook all tensed and Regina watched as guilt passed flashed his dark eyes, like clouds full of thunder in a stormy sky.

 

 

 

“Don’t Jones. I told you we were already past that. Your part in my torture isn’t half as bad as the crimes I’ve committed in my lifetime. So please let’s not start this pity party here” she smiled as she tugged the lapels of his leather coat.

 

 

 

 

“I’ll see you for dinner then? We’ve lots to catch up on. Especially you, about my blossoming love life” he winked as he watched her open the gate to her mansion.

 

 

 

She had barely nodded and was almost about to step inside the gate when he called out to her “Regina, you still didn’t tell me what our beloved Sheriff finally managed to do, to devastate your world with such ferocity?”

 

 

 

Sighing, Regina spoke, hoping her voice wouldn’t betray her mid-way “She chose to build a life in someone else’s world Jones. Miss Swan is now engaged to Baelfire”. Her brown eyes filled with tears that she had decided she’d not spill on the Savior anymore and so she turned away and walked into her mansion, leaving a stunned Hook behind.

 

 

 

                                                                 x-x-x

 

 

 

 

 

It had been good to be home, to take a nice long hot shower and brew up your special brand of Brazilian coffee, while relaxing in the familiarity of the surroundings that have always welcomed you and made you feel belonged.

 

 

 

 

Regina had decided that she would quickly head to her office, after a good breakfast and catch up on the mountain of paperwork she had expected her table to be adorned with in her absence. She had informed Mildred that she wouldn’t be in office for a few days and if there was anything urgent then she could direct it towards the Sheriff’s attention. But other than that nobody had known where the Mayor had gone or for how long. Truth be told, people were still scared about poking their nose in the Evil Queen’s matters and thankfully for her no emergencies had come by either.

 

 

 

The problem though was that there was nothing remotely edible left in her fridge that she could consume for breakfast and as hard as she had tried, she refused to stuff herself up with Henry’s favorite sugar filled cereal meal after having lived on junk for all these days. So she decided to stop by Granny’s and grab a quick sandwich and if possible some pancakes before heading to her office.

 

 

 

 What she hadn’t counted on though, was for her bad luck to shine through in all its glory. The minute she entered the diner she felt a sense of dread creeping up her spine and she wondered if part of it had got to do with the feeling that somebody had been watching her since morning, as Hook had said. The memories of Greg and Tamara collided into her like an out of control freight train, and she suddenly felt dizzy and too overwhelmed to even stand.

 

 

 

As she plopped herself on a stool in front of the counter, a curious Ruby came forward eyeing her with an equal mix of suspicion and concern.

 

 

 

“Are you Ok Madam Mayor? We haven’t seen you in these parts of the woods since a long time”

 

 

 

Regina wanted to lash out and ask Ruby to go take herself for a walk, but she thought about Jones and how as a friend she should make an effort to be nice to the person he was dating. So instead she plastered that fake Mayoral smile and intoned “Why everything is good my dear. Can I please have a grilled sandwich and pancakes if possible?”

 

 

 

Ruby rushed off without any further dialogue and Regina found herself being grateful to the universe for it, but any of that disappeared instantly when she felt that familiar feeling of an icy cold chill freeze up the blood in her veins.

 

 

 

She turned sideways and found herself face to face with those dark black eyes veiled behind the thick blue rimmed glasses, twinkling away mischievously.

 

 

“Good morning to you again Regina?” Rob smiled

 

 

 

“Well you can call me Madam Mayor, Sir”

 

 

 

“Naah. I think Regina is a lovely name. You don’t mind me not sticking to these privileged titles do you?” he spoke waggling his eyebrows.

 

 

 

Regina wasn’t sure how she should react to his presence, considering now they were surrounded by a considerable amount of the town people, and all eyes were regarding the stranger with curiosity and dread. But she was nothing if not a tactful politician – having mastered the art for 28 years now – and so she flashed him those fake diplomatic smile before continuing “Of course not Rob. You are our guest. I hope you had no trouble in getting help with your car?”

 

 

 

“No, I should be able to pick it up in an hour they said”. He hesitated before continuing “It was why I approached you. I wanted to thank you for all your help.”

 

 

She nodded gently but spoke firmly “As the Mayor of this town, it was my duty. If you require any other assistance I’ll be glad to set it up for you”.

 

 

 

He had opened his mouth to say something else, but Ruby had by then appeared and placed Regina’s order in front of her. She motioned at Ruby to take it to the booth near the far end of the diner and proceeded to walk there herself.

 

 

 

To her utter surprise she felt Rob following her to the booth and couldn’t help but roll her eye and wish he would just leave already, so that she could have her breakfast in peace. Taking the seat at the booth where Ruby had set her order on the table, Regina eyed Rob expectantly. She was waiting for him to say what she could sense was lingering within him, but not before catching Ruby giving Rob the stink eye.

 

 

 

Rob placed his cup of coffee on the table and extended his arm to her “Thank you for all your help Regina. I do surely appreciate your kindness”. She shook his hand but kept her grip loose and weak as opposed to his.

 

 

 

 

She felt a bit disconcerted when he kept on shaking her hand and refused to let it go. Finally he began to stutter “ Err…I…I was wondering if that…..”

 

 

 

“ **Regina** **!**!!! Who is this? Excuse me, but I don’t think I’ve seen you around here” Snow’s shrill voice echoed into the diner.

 

 

 

 

It would be an understatement to say that Regina had jumped at the sound of Snow suddenly booming into her booth from nowhere. She watched as Rob eyed her curiously first, and then looked at Snow clearly with a level of disgust that was uncalled for towards a stranger.

 

 

 

“What another of your baby sitters? Is this part of the package of being a Mayor of this town?” Rob smiled thoroughly amused with watching a clearly irritated Snow gaping back open mouthed.

 

 

 

Regina realized that he was still holding on to her hand and jerked it away instantly, before turning her attention to Snow “May I ask what concern is it to you, who I speak to and who this man happens to be?”

 

 

 

Clearly even Rob could sense the bitterness that had rolled off her tongue and as she watched Snow flinch at that tone a part of her smirked with satisfaction.

 

 

 

“I haven’t forgotten what happened to my grandson the last time a stranger waltzed into town unexpectedly and so yes I do care Regina!” Snow’s eyes bore furiously into Regina’s. If this was going to be a stare down match, Regina knew she wasn’t going to be the first one to cave in

 

 

 

“Oh dear Snow, need I remind you that your grandson, is actually **MY** son. So if there was something to worry about, I assure you this man wouldn’t be standing here having a polite conversation with me”

 

 

 

Rob by now had his expression change from amusement to wonder “Wait, this woman here is your mother-in-law? This town sure as hell has a great cosmetic surgeon I reckon”

 

 

 

His chuckle ended half-way when Snow glared at him with her crazy eyes and Regina couldn’t help but bite her lip in an effort to suppress the laughter rising with her own throat.

 

 

 

“You better complete whatever chit chat you have with the Mayor and get moving along Mr…” Snow spoke with the authoritative tone of a ruling queen.

 

 

 

“I was done here. Calm down pixie!” He then turned to look at a bemused Regina “I really don’t know how you’re managing to run this town full of crazies. Hats off to you Madam Mayor. Once again, thank you for all your help.”

 

 

 

He picked up his coffee cup, slid his eye-frame back up to the bridge of his nose and walked out of the diner, leaving a wide eyed Snow blinking back at Regina.

 

 

 

 

                                                   x-x-x

 

 

 

 

 

“Is there any particular reason you’ve occupied the seat opposite mine? I really am in no mood to deal with the crazies now”

 

 

 

“Where have you been all these days?” Regina looked up in surprise to see a neutral faced Snow, but her voice had betrayed the mask she had on.

 

 

 

“That is none of your business dear Snow White. Do I need to remind you this is not the EnchantedForest and you and the other idiot aren’t ruling any kingdom here?”

 

 

 

“This may not be my kingdom to rule Regina” Snow spoke with a urgency in her tone “but it sure as hell becomes my business when what you do directly affects the people I love”

 

 

 

Looking at the confusion that was swimming in Regina’s eyes, Snow continued to elaborate “Henry was a mess all these days. Did you even bother to consider how your disappearance would impact the kid? God, I thought you were a better mom than that Regina!”

 

 

 

“Oh please!” Regina hissed “I don’t need lectures about parenting from you of all the people Snow! I knew he had you and Charming, not to mention his beloved mother and father to take care of him”

 

 

 

“That is not the same. Henry was distraught with worry and fear for you. He thought something bad had happened. Like when Greg kidnapped you and tort….” she stopped and drew in a deep breath before continuing “I just wish you would have behaved more responsibly!”

 

 

 

Regina wanted to just stand up and whack the living daylights out of the woman. How dare she come in and speak to her about responsibility and parenting. This isn’t the first time Henry has stayed away from her. Previously, he has gone months without bothering to even check up on her. When Emma had first come into town, Regina longed for even a single glance from him. He had seemed pretty content to just pack his bags and leave for NY with Neal and Emma, and not consider that he was leaving her behind. So why wouldn’t he be OK? He had every single fairytale character he wanted right there with him. He never wanted the Evil queen, ever.

 

 

 

“Besides, Emma too has been searching for you….”

 

 

 

“That is enough Snow.” Regina didn’t let her complete “I am not accountable to either you or your daughter. Regarding Henry I shall discuss everything with him, when I meet him. Now if you can please excuse me – you’ve already ruined my breakfast, can you please not ruin the rest of my day?”

 

 

 

Snow wanted to protest, say something else, but instead she shifted and began to slide out of the booth quietly. Regina heaved a sigh of relief when she watched Snow White walk out of her booth and quietly trudge along towards Red.

 

 

 

But her relief was short lived when out of nowhere Snow reappeared again and slid herself back into the booth, just as she had out, a few seconds ago.

 

 

 

Regina drew in a deep sigh and bit the insides of her cheeks to stop from screaming loudly.

 

 

 

After what seemed like eternity to Regina, Snow finally spoke quietly, her voice barely a whisper “I know Regina. I can’t say I’m not perturbed by it, but I suppose I can empathize.”

 

 

 

Empathize? What was this obnoxious-bird-talking-I-shall-always-find-the-shepherd- idiot mumbling about?

 

 

 

“Excuse me? Need I remind you, I am not one of your 5th grade students in need of a riddle hour this morning” Regina was barely managing to keep her anger at bay now.

 

 

“What you feel for my daughter Regina. What you’ve been trying to hide since so many months now by avoiding us as a family”

 

 

 

Regina felt like someone had knocked the wind out of her lungs. She suddenly felt so powerless and humiliated. Here was her mortal enemy – the one who had snatched away her happy ending decades ago – gloating over how the stupid Evil Queen had finally been vanquished by the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. How finally revenge had been served cold and rotten by the fairest of them all.

 

 

 

Unknown to her, tears had begun falling down her cheeks and she felt like she was about to throw up. Suddenly she felt a warm hand snake in over the table and grab hold of her fingers. Regina recoiled in horror and disgust – she didn’t want anyone’s pity. How dare Snow White offer her comfort, when all she ever did was be the reason Regina’s life was a collection of dismantled happily ever after almosts.

 

 

 

Almost happy ending with Daniel before she wanted a play toy that Leopold couldn’t refuse, almost mother-daughter happily every after before Cora got her cursed heart plunged in, almost contentment with Henry before he got the book from Mary Margaret, and now an almost respectable unrequited love with Emma before she unveiled that secret so brazenly.

 

 

 

 

“I didn’t mean to upset you Regina. I just…I just wanted you to know that while I don’t understand the kind of love you feel for her, I do feel bad that it is hurting you so much and….”

 

 

 

“Don’t talk to me. Did you hear me? Enough with the humiliation!” her voice had now climbed up quite a few octaves and the entire diner was now staring in their direction.

 

 

 

“I don’t think I need to discuss my personal life with you. My love life shouldn’t concern you. Frankly, it shouldn’t have 30 years ago either. What I feel or don’t feel for your daughter is not something you need to be bothered with, and I certainly don’t appreciate you policing my feelings!”

 

 

 

“Regina, I am not trying to police anything….” Snow tried to argue back “I just, well I cannot seem to understand how it is that you could have romantic feelings for my daughter? For Christs’s sake, can’t you see this is…this..this is….”

 

 

“Cable porn?” Regina butted in.

 

 

Snow was breathless by the end of that sentence and her eyes shone in disbelief as if saying those things aloud were the first time she had truly begun to process them.

But she wasn’t even sure how to react to what Regina said in sass, because for her this was no laughing matter.

 

 

 

“Emma Swan is no step anything of mine! How can you create those ties between us when there was no relationship between you and me to begin with? Need I remind you dear, I am related to no one by blood here?” Regina continued, “So I fail to see how you become my daughter and Miss Swan my grandchild in regards to that! You clearly need to brush up your teaching lessons; I wouldn’t want my son to learn from a teacher who does not understand how relationships come into being”

 

 

 

“But my father married you Regina… I saw you as my mother…Regina…I loved you as much as I did my own mother!” Snow yelled in exasperation.

 

 

 

“I was no wife to your father my dear. I was just a slave bought by him to appease the fantasy and desire of his beloved daughter, one who saw me just as another doll she loved and would like to possess and love and be loved. I was no wife to Leopold and neither a mother to you Snow. You actively chose to remain in denial about my misery and your father’s abuse, that folly in on you dear, not on me.”

 

 

 

By now the tears had stopped and Regina took a breath in to calm herself, before she looked straight into Snow White’s eyes and drawled, her voice almost like a growl “You know, you’re right, I think I’m running out of places to hide my feelings, but the one place I never thought I’d ever be caught were in your eyes, Snow. The eyes that I’ve always looked upon unkindly at, ever since Daniel died. But yet, somehow, these are the same eyes that always saw me for everything that I tried to hide, rather than for everything that I truly was. But never for once mistake that my own eyes shone upon yours with any maternal love and fondness. Yes, I LOVE your daughter but don’t worry, this time you hold no power in snatching away my happy ending Snow. The Evil Queen is never meant to have a happy ending. So go back with peace in your heart to your Prince Charming and that happy family of yours, for the next time I won’t be asking you so politely.”

 

 

 

Regina slid herself away from the booth and began walking away as fast as she could. Her eyes were burning with the tears that were now threatening to flood even her heart and so through her hazy vision she didn’t catch the sight of blonde hair that had just entered the diner and was making her way towards the booth.

 

 

 

She bumped straight into the arms of the one person she had just seconds ago wished she could bury herself into. The minute Emma Swan’s perfume flooded into her senses, Regina felt her knees give away but the strong slim arms of the Savior held her tightly and didn’t let go even when Regina struggled to break free.

 

 

Damn, what was with her damned feet today? First Rob, then Hook and now Emma. Was osteoporosis actually catching up with her? She made a mental note to visit Whale as soon as possible

 

 

 

 

“Regina, are you OK?” Emma’s voice rang in her ears, like the soft sweet sound of a gong in a monastery, reverberating within every inch of her being and making the ends of hair on her neck stand up. Her grasp around Regina’s arms was still tight and suddenly acknowledging how close Emma was, instantly led to her heartbeat racing up. She hated how her body betrayed her so easily when it came to the touch of the Savior.

 

 

 

 

“Let me go **Miss Swan** ” Regina fought against Emma’s grip but she found that Emma was surprisingly too strong. She just stared with cold, hard eyes at Regina and then out of nowhere brought up the pad of her thumb to wipe away the tears that had now streaked across her cheeks.

 

 

 

 

The touch caused Regina to shiver and she violently pulled herself away from Emma, oblivious to the entire diner now watching the scene unfold in front of them with utter fascination.  Then without so much as even looking at Emma, she just stomped her way out of the diner and no sooner than she was out of the door, began running as fast as she could towards the Mayor’s office as if her life depended on it.

 

 

 

 

                                                                    x-x-x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It had been almost three hours since the whole unexpected encounters with Snow and Emma had taken place. Mildred had noticed an out of breath and disheveled Mayor walk into the town office, but either she was too afraid to ask her Boss about what had gone wrong or she was entirely unconcerned if anything had gone wrong at all.

 

 

 

 

Regina was grateful for the paperwork that had piled upon her desk, because that meant she had no room to think about the shame that had rooted within her upon realizing that Snow White had been able to read into her true feelings for Emma. That shame had only found wings in the form of humiliation when she – a crying mess – had bumped into the one person responsible for this entire fiasco.

 

 

 

 

The buzz of her intercom got her out of the pity party and she shifted slightly in her chair, as she leaned towards the edge, surprised to find out from Mildred that there was a visitor outside. Before she could ask Mildred to stall the person for a few minutes, the door to her office flew open and startled she jumped from her seat, losing her balance and falling off the edge of her seat to the ground beneath her.

 

 

 

“Oh I’m so sorry” a male voice boomed into her ears as he got closer and yet again she found the same muscular arms dive right down in an attempt to pluck her off the ground. Regina was still a bit confused and took a few seconds to get her footing straight, but before any words could be exchanged between either of them, a feminine voice echoed loudly into the room “Get your filthy paws off of her Rambo boy”

 

 

 

“It is Rob…Sheriff…Rob” followed Mildred’s squeaky voice from behind Emma.

 

 

“Whatever….Rob Rambo….step away from Regina!” Emma grunted, her words paused between ragged breaths.

 

 

 

Wait a minute, had Emma just run all the way here? Regina raised an eyebrow when she surveyed the scene in front of her. Her look at Mildred caused the woman to shift uncomfortably from where she was standing “Madam Mayor, I specifically told the Sheriff that she had to wait because some Rob had gone in….”

 

 

 

“Barged in is more like it….” Emma glowered.

 

 

 

“Yes. Well I was on the phone with you and this gentleman just barged right in Madam Mayor. I tried to stop the both of them. It really wasn’t my fault!” by now Mildred’s voice had been reduced to that of a frightened 5 year old.

 

 

 

“It is OK Mildred. I can’t fault you if the manners of the Sheriff of this town pale even in comparison to that of a Neanderthal!”

 

 

 

“Me? What about this Rambo boy barging in too? You don’t seem to have a problem with strangers randomly barging in but oh may the curse fall upon the horrible other mother of your son!” Emma mocked as she glared at the man still holding on to Regina.

 

 

 

“Pretty boy, lose the hold, will ya or you’ll have to spend a night in the hospital here.”

 

 

 

Rob laughed heartily as he let go of Regina, but kept his gaze firmly on her as he spoke with a softness in his voice which Regina knew would incense Emma further “ Regina, are you OK? I am sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in but your secretary was just giving me a hard time and….”

 

 

 

“So you decided it was acceptable to barge into the Mayor’s office? I can arrest you on the grounds of trespassing and stalking you know” Emma smirked, as Rob now walked right around the table and straight towards her.

 

 

 

“Now, you, Sheriff Swan is it? What is your deal?” he scratched at his stubble and continued “Actually, what is the deal with this entire town? Everyone seems to have taken up the responsibility of being the Mayor’s personal bodyguard cum babysitter it seems. Except for her secretary – who may I say looked like she was about to pee right then and there – being the only one positively frightened of Regina”

 

 

 

“So Regina” he turned his back to Emma and now facing Regina smiled warmly “what is going on with this town and you?”

 

 

 

 

Regina was just too dumbfounded to react. She herself couldn’t fathom why almost every other person around her had in their own subtle way threatened Rob, when Rob – as she was certain – was a harmless stranger in between stops. Nothing more to these anxieties and conspiracy theories she thought.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, Rob” Regina had now approached the space where Emma was standing, her face grumpy with anger directed towards Rob or perhaps Regina too, and her hands buried deep within her own blue denim pockets. “This is all just a misunderstanding. How may I help you?”

 

 

 

She didn’t have to cast a sideways glance to see that it had earned her an eye roll from Emma.

 

 

 

“Oh. No actually, I was just about to leave – my car is fixed up – but I didn’t want to leave before I checked up on you. So….”

 

 

 

Looking at the befuddled expression on both her and Emma’s face he continued “I saw you run out of the diner a few hours ago, crying and completely frazzled. Which reminds me” he now had his finger pointed at Emma “if I am not mistaken, it was after an altercation you had with the Sheriff herself!”

 

 

 

Regina wasn’t sure what had happened in the next few seconds. Because when her brain finally began to register the scene in front of her, she saw Rob had pinned Emma’s hands right behind her back and the stubborn blonde was flapping away like a bird whose wings had been clipped but whose spirit had not.

 

 

 

“Let go off me asshole” Emma screamed trying to wriggle herself out of his hold

 

 

 

“If you promise that you are going to behave yourself Sheriff. Shouldn’t you be setting a good example to the citizens of Storybrooke, so what would your son say about you trying to punch a simple, unsuspecting, peace loving Rambo boy like myself?”

 

 

 

Regina’s eyes widened in surprise and anger. Emma had tried to punch the guy? Was she drunk already so early in the day?

 

 

 

“Don’t you dare speak about **our** son” Emma protested, trying to punch her elbow into his ribs.

 

 

 

“Enough. Stop it. Both of you. Rob can you please release _Miss Swan_ right at this instant!”

 

 

 

Rob did just as he was instructed but the smirk he left on his face for Emma to see

 

 

 

“Wow, he is a Rob to you, but I’m **_Miss Swan_**?

 

 

 

“Excuse Me?” Regina positively felt like her head was going to spin round and round any minute now.

 

 

 

 

“What I can’t get is what did both of you find appealing in that guyliner?” Rob sounded genuinely surprised.

 

 

 

“Guyliner?” Emma questioned rubbing at the red marks that had broken across her pale white skin, from Rob holding on too hard.

 

 

 

“The Mayor’s boyfriend? The joker walking around town with a hook attached to his hand?”

 

 

 

Regina saw Emma’s eyes flash anger and something else, the minute Rob had uttered the word boyfriend. However when Hook’s reference came up she saw pure fury swimming in those eyes, now darkened with the green of envy it seemed.

 

 

 

“Please. Hook is not the father of Henry” interjected Emma “and certainly no boyfriend of hers!”

 

 

 

“Seems like you keep yourself well breasted with the on goings of the Mayor’s personal life Sheriff. Is that part of your KRA Miss Swan?” he suggested mischievously.

 

 

 

“Don’t call me Miss Swan, get it creep? Now that you’ve done poking about your nose in the Mayor’s personal life in a pretty stellar fashion yourself, I suggest you bid your goodbye and don’t come back!”

 

 

 

Totally disregarding Emma’s presence, Rob took Regina’s hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles “Your Majesty, let me take thy leave, if you so permit. Unless of course you need a valiant knight to stick around and kick some of the unnecessary peasants that are bothering you since noon?”

 

 

 

Regina couldn’t help but let out a hearty chuckle escape her throat (the man surely had sass) but stifled it the moment her eyes set upon Emma, whose jaws had set in tight and who was staring at her as if she was about to first murder her, then Rob, then her again.

 

 

 

“Thank you for the kind offer, but I think there is no threat here. I hope you enjoyed your stay in our beautiful town, it is sad indeed that you couldn’t stick around to spend some more time here” To the side of her, she heard Emma let out an exasperated groan and it made her smile to herself “Have a safe trip to your brother”

 

 

 

Rob closed his eyes and nodded. He then turned his attention towards Emma and held out his hand “Indeed unlucky to have not had the pleasure to be acquainted with your hook Sheriff. If you ever need any fighting tips, I am more than glad to help you train”

 

 

 

Regina’s eyebrows shot up as she could sense that Emma was getting testy again. Emma refused to offer a handshake and so a thoroughly amused and gloating Rob made his way past the Mayor’s office.

 

 

 

“Well I suggest you take your leave too Sheriff” Regina had already turned her back towards Emma and was going back to resume her work. She was surprised when she heard Emma’s footsteps grow distant, because it was unlike the difficult blonde to listen to anything Regina said so obediently.

 

 

 

When the door slam shut and the sound of the lock turning clicked into the quiet room, Regina knew it was going to be a long afternoon.

 

 

 

 

                               

                                                x-x-x

 

 

 

 

“What the fucking fuck is wrong with you Regina!?” Emma’s voice tore into the silence as she strode angrily towards the Mayor.

 

 

 

 

“Me dear? What were you trying to prove by **trying** to punch Rob?” Regina spoke in an amused tone

 

 

 

“Trying to set that bird brain in his place?”

 

 

 

 

Regina folded her arms together and snickered “The only bird brain in the room was you _Miss Swan_! How juvenile was it to attack him like that? All he was trying to do was exchange some pleasantries, besides he was leaving as it is!”

 

 

 

“I don’t see you calling Hook a bird brain” Emma muttered under her breath.

 

 

 

“Seriously Miss Swan has the teenage boy in you decided to come out and play or is today a special day where you decide you’re going to reinforce my belief on how the apple doesn’t fall farther than the tree?”

 

 

 

Glancing at the hurt in the blonde’s eyes, Regina couldn’t help but involuntarily soften her tone “Miss Swan, I really have loads of paperwork to file and now is not the time to throw a fit because of god knows what a stranger did to irk you. So can you please leave now?”

 

 

 

Emma’s eyes implored the brunette’s “Where were you Regina?”

 

 

 

The Mayor let out a long breath through her mouth.

 

 

 

“All these 12 days. Where in the bloody hell were you?”

 

 

 

Regina kept her eyes glued on the floor and greeted Emma back with nothing but silence.

 

 

 

“God damn it Regina!” a furious Emma charged at her with such brute force that Regina found her back colliding with the file cabinet a few inches behind where she was standing “ I am asking you a simple question. Where the fuck were you?” Emma’s one hand holding on to the lapel of her black jacket and the other pinning her right arm to the side.

 

 

 

  
Regina could feel Emma’s warm breath on her lips. The scent of coffee and cigarette (perhaps some cheap scotch too) mingled with her nostrils and she couldn’t help but utter out in surprise “You’ve been smoking Emma?”

 

 

 

“Jesus Christ Regina. That is what you’re going to pick on now?” Emma questioned shaking her head in disbelief “A fucking cigarette is bothering you, while you’ve been god knows where, doing whatever the hell you’ve been doing!”

 

 

 

“I thought you promised Henry that you were not going to smoke again. You know how difficult it was for you to get rid of the habit you picked up after coming back from Neverland and getting back with Neal. What is with this twisted connection you, that weasel and cigarettes share anyway Emma? God I’m so disappointed in you!”

 

 

  
She tried to get away from the hold of Emma Swan, but the blonde wasn’t budging an inch.

 

 

 

“You are disappointed in me? YOU! YOU! YOU?!” Emma spat the words with all the bitterness she could muster. “Disappearing without letting anyone know and not be bothered about how that was going to affect the rest of us was so cowardly and selfish Regina.”

 

 

 

 

“Let me go” Regina protested in vain. “And don’t you dare preach to me about selfishness and cowardice, the queen of hypocrisy herself! I don’t have time for you or your Dr Phil theories, got it? I have work to do…so if you will just…”

 

 

 

 

“Oh yes” Emma scoffed, laughing to herself and then staring back into Regina’s dark brown eyes “ you only have the time to go around flirting with some manly Rambo boy the minute you come out of your hiding huh? Someone whom you know squat about, and then in spite of being in the same situation with Greg, knowing fully well what that did to Henry, to YOU!! After all of that you’re still giving him the time of the day, smiling at him, ruing he couldn’t hang around longer? Do you know how dangerous this could be for Henry? The last time you put **our** son in danger and I damn as well will not take chances on you doing it again!!!”

 

 

 

 

“ **Miss Swan** …Henry is _MY_ son and I will not just stand here and listen to your venomous foolish outburst and deliberate misinterpretations of a situation and a person that has no correlation to the past and a bearing on the future.” Regina spoke in the Mayoral tone, as she once again tried to shake away Emma’s grip. “Besides I am very capable when it comes to judging people accurately **Miss Swan**. Although I admit I made a mistake when it came to Henry’s other mother – now Baelfire’s….”

 

 

 

Emma didn’t let her complete “What is that supposed to mean” she growled, her hold on Regina’s wrist getting tighter. She wasn’t realizing it, but Emma’s nails had begun to dig into the Mayor’s soft flesh and Regina’s struggle was only making it worse. Yet Regina chose to fight back, trying to stamp at Emma’s feet when everything else seemed to fail.

 

 

 

“Owww…” Emma yelped in pain but still had managed to maintain her strong hold of the woman in front of her “What the fuck Regina…don’t make me madder than I already am!”

 

 

 

“Well then Miss Swan, stop manhandling me. I am not your toy!” Regina spat the words as she glared at Emma, thrusting her face right in front of the Savior, their lips almost brushing together.

 

 

 

For a split moment Regina was convinced Emma was going to close the distance. The way Emma’s eyes traveled to her lips, longing and desire dripping through every second spent lingering on the plump red swelling in front of it. But as if Emma could read Regina’s thoughts, a half smile crept up her lips, and she pulled Regina away from the cabinet, dragging her across the space and then violently pushed her backwards, resulting in Regina’s feet hitting the back of her chair, her body falling ungracefully into it.

 

 

 

“Good thing Regina…because I surely have never liked **broken** toys” Emma admitted, moving away to maintain a considerable distance between the both of them.

 

 

 

Regina wasn’t sure what stung her so viciously; Emma’s admission of how broken Regina indeed was or Emma’s rejection of a moment that Regina was certain they both intensely felt the want of. She wondered for a moment if she had begun to cry, but apparently, the tears had all dried up by now. 13 days had left her barren and unwilling to fight for the blonde, any longer.

 

 

 

“True, can’t disagree with you there **Miss Swan** ” Regina sighed standing up as she smiled at Emma, self-loathing and pity shining brightly in those dark expressive eyes  like the morning summer sun “explains why I am always alone doesn’t it? Why the only person that ever wanted me was my mother – she liked broken, damaged things or maybe creating them.”

 

 

 

Perhaps it was the resignation and defeat in Regina’s tone or genuine guilt that swelled within Emma, but time just seemed still in that room. Regina had to look away from Emma because she found whatever conflict was occurring in the blonde’s green eyes, to be confusing. She had already chosen Neal, and then what was all this going on between them? Why were they trying to still hurt each other, when clearly neither of them could bear to? Regina brought both her hands towards her temple, massaging them as she recognized the onset of a migraine setting in.

 

 

 

“Regina…” Emma finally broke the silence “I didn’t mean it…”

 

 

 

“Get out. Emma. Get. Out” Regina cut her off, slumping back in her chair, as her lips quivered with rage and her eyes threatened to flood up with all the hurt that came with loving a certain Emma Swan.

 

 

 

 

                                                     x-x-x

 

 

 

 

 

Regina had tried to concentrate on her pending work, but try as hard as she may have, Emma’s words refused to banish themselves from her mind. Every other minute the words would ring in her head and she felt as if they were taunting her, mocking her, making her desire more than a few glasses of bourbon to numb all these feelings that were ravaging her mind like an unexpected devastating storm.

 

 

 

 

So she informed Mildred that she was going to work from home today and that she should be contacted only if there was an emergency so to speak. Regina had switched off her cell they very moment Emma had walked out of the Mayor’s office. She was aware that the blonde would definitely send a string of messages to placate Regina and being in the kind of mood Regina was, she feared getting those messages would make things between them both messier than they already were.

 

 

 

Regina Mills had decided that she was no longer going to give Emma Swan the easier way out of things every time. What she had written in stone was that she no longer was going to wait around like a love-stricken puppy to only be kicked to the curb in the end.

 

 

 

Which is why she wasn’t aware of the numerous times Henry had tried to contact her.  So when she ran into Neal at the corner of the street – leading to Granny’s, she was quite taken aback rather than irked to have had to engage in a few minutes worth of conversation with him. Being in a foul mood meant that Regina wouldn’t have been in any mood to cook, so she decided to quickly drop in for a take-out of some chicken salad and tomato soup, before going home and calling up Henry.

 

 

 

 

                                                 x-x-x

 

 

 

 

She had placed her order and was tapping her fingers impatiently around her coffee cup, waiting by the counter, a familiar voice of laughter rang in along with the chiming of the diner bell. Rob apparently had not left town. Wasn’t he supposed to have already left a few hours ago? Regina’s mind began racing at a mile per minute and Emma’s words began dancing like a graceless dancer, uncertainly and incoherently inside her head. Was he a threat like Greg? Was there more to him than…

 

 

 

“Hey Regina!” Rob shouted, waving at her very enthusiastically, causing the man who he was with to give him a funny look.

 

 

 

Regina merely smiled but she couldn’t look away because Rob had managed to make his way next to her in an instant ‘Hello to you too. I thought you were supposed to have left town” she said dryly.

 

 

 

“Oh, yes, but you see I thought about what you said. This town seems quite interesting actually. I’ve never ever been threatened by three people in a day for merely exchanging pleasantries with their Mayor” he chuckled and then sliding down to the chair next to her continued playfully “So either the people in this town are very interesting for me to miss out on or the Mayor of this town is far too fascinating for me to not stick around for”

 

 

 

 

 

Yes he was flirting. Oddly, a part of Regina felt nice. It had been ages that someone had seemed interested in her or had at least expressed their intentions clearly. It felt good to feel wanted by someone. But still Regina knew she no longer was that woman who would be content with spending a meaningless night with a stranger because her body had betrayed her or because she used her body to drown out the floating monsters within.

 

 

 

Her heart – no matter how black it was – only searched for the light of an infuriating but taken blonde. It shouldn’t matter though, she reasoned, that Emma didn’t want her the way she wanted Emma, because in the end the only thing that mattered was that Regina for the very first time in her life had completely surrendered herself – mind, body and soul – to the woman who gave her a chance at a happy ending by destroying her curse.

 

 

 

Regina shifted nervously in her seat and hadn’t noticed as her arm moved across the table, hitting the coffee mug and the contents within sloshed down, trickling through the counter and into her expensive silk grey shirt and black skirt.

 

 

 

“Oh god damn” Regina muttered under her breath, leaping up, as Rob jumped up and ran across a booth to grab a box of paper napkins, returning next to her only to unconsciously dab a few napkins against her shirt. It caused Regina’s face to flush but an oblivious Rob was still dabbing at her shirt, as onlookers exchanged amused looks amongst each other.

 

 

 

 

“Stop touching my mom” a thin young voice startled the both of them. Regina turned back to see Henry approaching them with a frown that locked his brows together and a pout that made him seem more adorable than threatening – an expression that Regina recognized appear often than not on his annoying birth mother.

 

 

 

Rob obviously taken aback, suddenly felt embarrassed himself because it was only then he looked at his hands on the Mayor’s torso, where the coffee had left stains and smiled sheepishly “Sorry,I just don’t like stains. Call it an OCD when it comes to cleaning and tidiness. So this is Henry?”

 

 

 

Regina nodded as she took the remaining napkins from his hand and set to wipe off some of the liquid herself. Henry by then had made his way next to her, his eyes firmly set on Rob but his question directed at Regina “Mom, who is this?”

 

 

 

“Oh Henry” Regina looked up at Rob first, noticing a smile dancing in his eyes, and then sideways to Henry, and said “This is Rob. He was driving through town to get to New Hampshire when his car broke down and I just helped him get it fixed. He shall be leaving soon”

 

 

 

 

“In a day or two” Rob added promptly, and then turning to Henry he extended his arm and spoke with warmth in his voice “Hi, I am Rob. Nice to meet you Henry”

 

 

 

Just as Emma had refused to shake his hand, Henry stood frozen in his place, which made Rob take away the offered hand away but the amused smile stayed plastered on his face.

 

 

“I’d rather have strangers stay away from my mother” Henry said his voice flat

 

 

 

“Shouldn’t that be your mother’s choice? I don’t think children must parent their parents”

 

 

 

It earned Rob a death glare from Henry and a nervous licking of the lips from Regina.

 

 

 

“Look Mister, don’t try and go all wiseass on me”

 

 

“Henry!” Regina yelled “mind your language” Rob smiled as Henry ignored her and continued to speak “I am not your ordinary small town kid, just warning you in advance. Besides my mum is the Sheriff of this town” he smirked arrogantly.

 

 

 

“Are you threatening me son?”

 

 

 

“I am not your son! Like I said stay away from her” Henry’s words were laced with anger. He then turned his attention to Regina, who immediately stiffened up when she saw the question floating in his hazel eyes, the answer to which she was not ready to give “Can we talk? In P.R.I.V.A.T.E?” He made sure to stress the last word.

 

 

 

 

Regina looked up at Rob who nodded at her kindly “ I should get going then. Nice to meet you Henry. Will see you around Regina. Goodbye”

 

 

 

 

No sooner than he had walked away to a booth in the corner of the diner, Henry spoke up “Where have you been all this while MOM? I was so scared that something had happened to you or someone had done bad things to you! Why didn’t you call me?”

 

 

 

Guilt encompassed every fiber of her being. She knew what she had done was extremely irresponsible and selfish as a parent but she could only be honest with him “I am sorry Henry. I wasn’t thinking straight. I just…there was something that I couldn’t cope with, without the privacy of solitude and hence I had to lay low for a while. I am sorry that I hurt you and caused you so much worry. It won’t happen again.”

 

 

 

 

 

“It is Ok mom. I understand” Henry sighed as he leaned in to hug her “I just missed you a lot that’s all!”

 

 

 

 

“Henry, Wait” Regina screeched as she put a stop from his hands wrapping themselves across her waist “I have all coffee over me. Let me just wash this with some water and then be prepared for the most earth shattering hug you’ve ever received, ok?”

 

 

 

He giggled and rolled his eyes. She left him at the counter with her purse, smiling giddily for the first time in almost two weeks. Henry really was all that she needed. He was her only constant happy ending.

 

 

 

 

 

                                               x-x-x

 

 

 

 

 

The scene outside the diner was chaotic to say the least. Scores of people had gathered outside, and the sound of the fire truck was drowning out the sounds of a rather hysterical Captain Hook.

 

 

 

 

Emma had received a call from Regina’s cell a few minutes ago, Henry was calling from his mother’s cell to inform her that an emergency evacuation had occurred at the diner because of a fire that had started in the kitchen (a fire caused by a short circuit), engulfing the area around it, which included the zone around the restroom from where Regina had not yet emerged from.

 

 

 

 

She had arrived on the scene to see her panicked son being held by Ruby and Hook being – amazingly – restrained by Granny. Ruby was yelling at him too to stop acting like a child and wait for the experts to go and retrieve an apparently trapped Regina.

 

 

 

“Why can’t that bloody woman use her magic?” he yelled in frustration.

 

 

“What is going on?” Emma had run all the way from Mary Margaret’s apartment, with Charming in tow “Where is Regina?”

 

 

 

  
Henry ran to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, his slender fingers still holding on to Regina’s purse “Mom is in Emma. You’ve got to get her out!” he sniffled.

 

 

 

 

“I promise you Henry, nothing will happen to her” Emma smiled into his watery eyes, and used the pad of her thumb to gently stroke away the fresh set of tears that were flowing through his cheeks. 

  
  
 “I am going in” Hook’s voice rang in over the siren “we can’t just stand here and do nothing!”

 

 

 

“Hook, the firemen have come. They’ll take care of it. You’re just going to be a hindrance to their work and impeded the rescue work” Charming reasoned. He then flicked his gaze towards Emma who was still standing there clutching Henry’s shoulders “Emma, you too. Stay here. I’ll have a word with Chief Stanley.”

 

 

 

 

With Charming gone, Emma immediately looked towards the diner. Her mind was already plotting on finding a pathway in. She would have to cleverly dodge all the fire people but most of all her father. Nobody was going to let her run inside a burning building, no matter the fact that they had been able to contain it from breaking into a huge fire.

 

 

 

“I still don’t get it, why isn’t she just magicking herself out of there?!” Hook clicked his tongue as he let out a deep sigh.

 

 

 

“What if she has?” Ruby asked eyes all wide as if she had just solved the mystery.

 

 

 

“No” he answered almost immediately “She wouldn’t just leave like that without knowing where Henry is! She maybe many things Miss Lucas, but she is not a mother who will abandon her son – even in the most terrible of times or the bleakest of moments, one thing that Regina will always do is to BE with Henry, for better or for worse!”

 

 

 

Ruby’s eyes traveled straight to Emma and Hook managed to catch it

 

 

 

 

“Oh I don’t mean it like that” he grimaced “I just don’t see her going anywhere if she thought Henry wasn’t safe.” After a few beats he added as an afterthought “She is the kind of mother every child deserves”

 

 

 

It wasn’t like Emma didn’t agree with whatever Hook said, but a part of her felt the prick of jealousy and something else….something a lot like gratitude. She couldn’t have asked for anybody better than her to have raised her little boy, and yet the thought of Hook being able to express all of that so freely and honestly, while she never could or did, made her jealous about the kind of equation that Hook and Regina truly shared.

 

 

 

Was it merely friendship? Was it a one-sided love? And even if it was friendship, was Hook truly a better friend of Regina than she was?

 

 

 

 

“I’m going in” she suddenly blurted “Hook give me some cover, just distract my father while I plough my way through the other set of officers”

 

 

 

“What? No way!” Neal shrieked from behind her. Emma rolled her eyes in frustration. “Em, are you crazy? Let the experienced people do their work! I’m not letting you go in, do you hear me?”

 

 

 

A grunt from Hook made Emma realize she wasn’t the only one itching to punch something. “I didn’t ask for your permission Neal. Regina is in and I need to see that she is safe. I promised Henry I wouldn’t let anything happen to her. So please don’t get in my way” she spoke, her voice stern and her eyes a determined shade of deep blue, as if a hurricane was brewing in it. “Hook, you ready?”

 

 

 

Hook nodded in understanding “Just bring her back, safe” he smiled. Of course Emma would. This wasn’t the first time that she was going to rescue Regina from a fire. She had already done it once before at the town hall. But then things were different between them. She thought it was her duty and had saved Regina, now it was her…Regina was her…

 

 

 

 

Her thoughts were broken by some loud cheering and clapping, and an elated Henry bobbing up and down screaming “Mom! It’s Mom! She is safe! She is safe!” Both he and Hook went running towards the direction of all the clapping.

 

 

 

 

From the haze of the smoke Emma could see the silhouettes of Regina and oh-dear-god was that Rambo boy carrying her?!

 

 

 _Regina_ _was her life_ …

 

 

 

 

                                              x-x-x

 

 

 

The cheering had finally died down by the time Rob had approached the group of Emma-Neal-Ruby-Granny-Charming standing a few meters away from the cordoned off area. He was still carrying Regina, whose body suddenly stiffened when her eyes locked with deep green ones. Hook and Henry were tailing him.

 

 

 

 

“Rob, please set me down” Regina’s soft voice traveled through the silent group. “Hmm wait, hold on, let me get this – stand down gently OK?”

 

 

 

Regina’s eyes seeked Emma’s instantly.

 

_Oh, ow, ow! My ankle! Set me down gently!  
Seriously? You’re complaining about how I saved your life?_

 

 

 

She found nothing but indifference in them. Aah Emma couldn’t have been thinking about the same thing. Besides Emma would have saved anybody from a fire – that is what Saviors do. They risk their **life** for anyone….

 

 

 

“Mom!” Henry barreled into Regina, giving her the tightest hug he had in a long time. “I am fine Henry” Regina squeezed him as tightly, kissing the top of his head.

“Are you Ok dear?” Henry nodded smiling and still holding on to her for dear life.

 

 

 

“Hey, Regina” Neal muttered “seems like you were lucky to have this gentleman around to save you”

 

 

 

“Yes Baelfire, good thing that not all men run away like you dear” Regina sneered and in the background as Hook chuckled, her smirk grew wider.

 

 

 

He held forth his hand towards Rob “Hello, call me Neal…I’m Em’s…I mean the Sheriff’s…”

 

 

 

“Neal” Emma said, without letting him complete his sentence “I think we need to let them go the hospital, just to check up and see if there isn’t any smoke….”

 

 

 

“That is not needed _Miss Swan”_ Regina interrupted flatly “I think I am good. But if Rob would like to go, please drive him”

 

 

 

“Nope, I am good too Sheriff” Rob winked at an extremely irritated Emma.

 

 

 

He then offered his own hand to Neal – who still had his hand held out – and shaking it with a firm grip said, “Call me Rob. I for one am glad to see that for once nobody is threatening me over being anywhere near Regina. Seems like this town is finally warming up to me” he joked.

 

 

 

“Wait, not so soon Rambo boy!” Emma had now moved closer to Rob, going toe to toe with him “What are you still doing here? I thought I had made it perfectly clear to you, to leave.”

 

 

 

“I don’t think you own this town Sheriff. I am a tax-paying citizen of this free country, and I shall choose to come and go when I like!” Rob’s voice held defensiveness to it, which Regina hadn’t heard up until now.

 

 

 

 

“If you ask me, I think there is a strong probability that he had something to do with the fire. Bugger has been stalking Regina since morning” Hook chimed in.

 

 

 

 

“Same can be said about you guyliner.” Rob’s voice seemed like he was getting angry by the minute. “Seems like you intend to walk around with two hooks.”

 

 

 

Hook lunged forwards to take a swipe at Rob, but Emma had managed to throw herself in between him and Rob.

 

 

 

 

“Ok, everyone just calm down” Charming who had been a silent spectator until now, pounced back into his Deputy Sheriff role “It has been a long day. Let’s all just move away and go home now. Ruby can you please take Hook away?”

 

 

 

“No way, I’m taking Regina home!” Hook hissed. “Why don’t the rest of you all go back to your happy families?” He came next to Regina and slipped his hand under her elbow, holding her, his eyes softly asking her to move.

 

 

 

“I could drive you guys” Emma blurted.

 

 

 

“No!” came the cry in unison from both Regina and Hook.

 

 

 

“I’ll make sure she gets home safe Swan. Good night” Hook said, wiggling his eyebrows and turning back again to look at Regina.

 

 

 

“Henry, I am Ok” Regina had managed to pull Henry away from her and now was holding his chin in her hand as she had bent down to his eye level “Please go home with Emma. I shall call you up tomorrow. Perhaps you can come over for breakfast?”

 

 

 

 

He tried to protest but she quickly placed a soft kiss on his cheeks and gave him a warm hug. He finally decided that he wasn’t going to be able to change her mind and so walked towards Emma, who grabbed him in for a side hug.

 

 

 

 

“Rob,” Regina turned towards the man who had pulled her out of the fire a few moments ago “I am very thankful for whatever you did for me. Thank you. I don’t know how I could repay you, but if there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask” she genuinely smiled at him after she finished speaking.

 

 

 

 

“Well, there is one thing you can do” Rob said mischievously “I’ve heard your lasagna is the best in the world. Now with the diner under siege and all that…how about cooking me lunch?’

 

 

 

 

Regina caught Emma’s eyes widen and felt Hook’s grip tighten. Oh these two, she thought rolling her eyes, whatever was she going to do with this silly streak of jealousy and irrational distrust they had formed about Rob.

 

 

 

“Well, how about making that a dinner? I have lots of work to complete”

 

 

 

“You can’t be serious Regina. You can’t go to work after all this. And you certainly don’t have to cook him any fancy meal. He did you no favours, it was the decent thing to do, because that is what good people should do!” Emma spoke in one single breath.

 

 

 

Regina glared at Emma, clearly the past flashing through her mind “Miss Swan, whom I call for dinner and should I go to work are not your decisions to make!”

 

 

 

“Rob?” she turned to look at him waiting for his answer.

 

 

 

“Oh, if it is not trouble, I would love to” Rob said, “I didn’t mean to cause you any inconvenience” he added later, clearly feeling guilty by Emma’s words

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“No dear. It is quite all right. See you at six then” Regina smiled and then proceeded to walk along with Hook towards her mansion.

 

 

 

 

She didn’t need to look back to know that the blonde’s face was contorted with anger and disappointment. But she had other pressing matters on hand to sort first – like a whining and overprotective Hook babbling into her ear. He sounded like a mother scolding their 3 year old toddler! How she wished Ruby would turn now and gobble up yet another of her boyfriends. God, the walk home was going to be a long one!

 

 

 

                                                 x-x-x

 

 

 

 

 

The pounding at her door had finally gotten so loud, that she no longer could bear it.  Hook had finally agreed to answer the door, but asked her to stay in the kitchen and finish her glass of warm milk and some oat-meal cookies. If Regina knew Hook had such a maternal side to him, she would have let him baby sit Henry all this while.

 

 

 

Regina was aware who was at the other side of the door. Just as Hook was, which is why when the bell first rung through the house, he coolly winked at her and held his finger to his mouth. But when Emma realized that no amount of incessant ringing was doing the trick, she began pounding at the door, like a wounded animal trying to run away from its prey.

 

 

 

Finally on her firm insistence Hook decided he would send Emma away. After all none of this would have ever happened if the stupid Savior had not decided to play house with Mumblefire.

 

 

 

 

Regina knew it was not fair to pin all the blame on Emma for whatever occurred, for it was she who was accountable for her own actions, no matter the outcome being linked to the actions of another. But still she thought it was better not to argue with a very cranky and preachy Hook tonight.

 

 

 

 

After a few minutes of loud yelling emanating from the living room, everything went quiet. Regina for a second feared if either of them had killed each other. After tonight’s behaviour she didn’t put it past them to do so either. Just as she was about to make her way to the living room, Hook sauntered in smiling and cheerful…

 

 

 

“Got rid of her” he wiggled his eyebrows “now, you go up and rest. I’ll get you some soup in a while, courtesy master chef Hook”

 

 

 

Regina rolled her eyes “Just don’t burn my kitchen down, will you?” She laughed warmly as she went over to give him a hug “Oh Killian, you’re the friend I think I should have had in my life a long time ago. Well I am grateful at least I do now. Thank you. You’re a very good man, you know that right?” her eyes twinkled with gratitude.

 

 

 

“I am still a bad boy when it comes to you know….” he chuckled raising his eyebrow suggestively.

 

 

 

“Ugh…let go of me” Regina squatted away his hand playfully from her hips. She made her way up the stairs, hoping to catch a quick nap, before diving back into the incomplete paperwork she had got home.

 

 

 

                                               x-x-x

 

 

 

 

 

It had been a good 15 minutes since Regina had tried to sleep. For the first few minutes she held her eyes tightly shut, blocking out the thoughts of the one person who had given her sleepless nights, both with positive and negative emotions. Afterwards she tried to count sheep in her head, but for some odd reason, only swans were scurrying past her eyes – swans with golden locks! Finally she resigned to staring at the ceiling, her mind lost in the vast expanse of white space above, unknowingly her eyes tracing the letters Emma Swan on them.

 

 

 

If her mind wasn’t as pre-occupied with the thoughts of the blonde, she would have probably heard the person in question ungracefully thud into her balcony after climbing up the wall into her room.

 

 

 

 

Just after the curse broke and a subsequent few weeks after that Regina used to always lock her doors and sometimes even go to the extent of casting magical spells to fortify her own sense of security. But after helping saving the town from being destructed by the trigger and basically forging a peaceful bond with the Charmings, the entire town seemed to have stopped walking around egg shells with her. Not only that, the whispering, icy-glares and basic animosity towards the Evil Queen seemed to have simmered down.

 

 

 

Even though they didn’t completely trust her, yet Regina felt like they didn’t see her as a threat anymore either. And so one day she found herself leaving her windows unlocked – oddly, it made her feel free and less trapped within the darkness that never fully ever left anyway.

 

 

 

But when the balcony door clicked open, Regina felt that familiar dreaded sense of fear engulf her, the day Whale had brought a mob to her house to kill her, the day Emma had saved her, as she always did. However, this time there was no Emma Swan, and she certainly wasn’t ever going to even call the Saviour to help. Her mind was so startled and confused, that she hadn’t even noticed a flood of yellow curls swoop into her vision.

 

 

 

“Regina!? Regina!!!” the words suddenly broke her out from the daze and shock her body had gone into “It is me, relax. Are you ok?” Emma was now sitting right beside her, on the edge of her bed, a hand tucking back some brown strands of hair from the brunette’s face

 

 

 

 

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Regina hissed with anger, an anger that only doubled when she realized the fear had caused a sweat to break across her face and her breathing was rugged. It was embarrassing to expose herself in this way in front of anybody – she didn’t mean any of her armour being chipped away from her, but she didn’t want to ever seem weak and scared in front of anyone, not even the blonde, especially not the blonde and certainly not anymore.

 

 

 

“Regina..uh…I…was….I mean I…wanted to see you and the door was open…”

 

 

 

“Open? You do know what you just did was breaking and entering right Sheriff? Or must I need to acquaint you with the law you are supposed to be the keeper of?” Regina said flatly, and tried moving backwards towards the head rest of the bed because the close proximity with Emma was making her heart alternate between leaping out of her chest and doing terrible tumbles.

 

 

 

“Which I wouldn’t have to do, if you didn’t leave me with any other choice; and since when have you employed Hook to be your bodyguard?! What’s with all the need of having all these men around, protecting you?”

 

 

 

 

“What? Miss Swan I will not stand her and indulge you in your delusions. I told you then and I say it again, I am not your toy in which way, for you to choose come and play with when your whimsical mind, decides to” Regina spoke, her eyes burning with defiance. “And no matter how broken, I think I deserve far better than that!”

 

 

 

“What is that supposed to mean? Are you accusing me of manipulating and playing you? Kind of ironic don’t you think, considering all I’ve seen you do since I am back in this town is falling in the arms of men all day long!”

 

 

 

 

“Miss Swan” Regina’s voice rose with anger “since when are you so invested in the men in my life? Besides isn’t it rich coming from someone like you? Someone who…”

 

 

 

“Someone who what Regina?” Emma spoke inching closer to her.

 

 

 

“I’d rather not talk about any of this now” Regina huffed. “My head is throbbing  -- I guess must be all that smoke… so please find your way out dear”

 

 

 

 

“Yes, you’d rather have Rambo boy here, massage your temples, soothe away your pain hmmm…Now I am beginning to wonder, is he really a stranger Regina?”  Emma questioned, lifting her eyebrows.

 

 

 

 

“What!!” Regina spoke through gritted teeth

 

 

 

 

“All of a sudden a stranger waltzes into town and the every skeptical and cautious Regina Mills seems unperturbed by it. In fact every time I see her with the stranger, she is practically all but in his arms! Who knows perhaps she was with him all these days when everybody else in town was clueless regarding her whereabouts, including her son Henry, who she claims to love more than anyone else in this world. Oddly enough who could be in threat because of this stranger – after going through all of that with Peter Pan – and yet she didn’t missed a heartbeat to invite the stranger over for dinner to her house!!!”

 

 

 

Emma spoke fast and fluently, leaving no room for Regina to either interrupt her or put a stop to it. Well, not like Regina could have even said anything. She was speechless for a minute or two and just sat on the bed, wide-eyed staring at Emma like she just couldn’t comprehend if the blonde was just being the usual idiot when emotions cloud her judgment or if she was suffering from some brain seizure, considering her genetics had finally to triumph someday.

 

 

 

“First of all I’m sitting right here! And most importantly let me confirm this - are you drunk?” finally Regina managed to utter something that made Emma look up with confusion at her “What?”

 

 

 

 

“No? Then you must have hit your head somewhere and are nursing a head injury, aren’t you Miss Swan?” Regina continued as a flummoxed Emma stared her down “Well that is the only explanation for how you have gotten crazy! I’m afraid I can’t help you with that dear, you need to see Whale”

 

 

 

“Stop! I’m not the crazy one here!!!” Emma yelled

 

 

 

 

Regina chuckled loudly “No person who is crazy ever admit to being crazy Miss Swan”

 

 

 

 

“Regina, don’t test my patience”

 

 

 

 

“Or what? What Miss Swan? How dare you break into my home and accuse me of things that have no credibility to it whatsoever!” Regina felt the rage mount within her, and instead of holding it in she just let it all out.

 

 

 

 

“I am perfectly capable of judging people Emma. Like I said, you’re the one whose has no iota of being able to judge who is good for you. I maybe Regina but I’ve not severed the tentacles that bind me to the Evil Queen too, well at least not completely. From that darkness alone I can sense Rob is not a threat – to either me, Henry or this town!”

 

 

 

 

“Well when Greg was around none of the EQ radar came in handy” Emma scoffed

 

 

 

 

“I seem to recollect your superpowers abandoned you when Archie was apparently murdered by me! Nobody has a 100% success rate. We all have our crosses to bear dear”

 

 

 

“Ok, don’t throw that at me now. Those are completely different things Regina!”

 

 

 

“Are they?” Regina said, she looked away into the mirror, as if watching the scene from that day on the walkway unfold in front of her – the words of Emma slowly constricting her heart, threatening to choke any remaining words from tumbling out “You didn’t trust me then, you don’t trust me even now, _Emma_ ”

 

 

 

  
She said the word Emma so softly, it clearly deflated the defensive posture Emma had adopted and her body sagged, as she tried to reach out to Regina, her fingers almost grazing the feet of the Mayor “Regina…”

 

 

 

 

Regina immediately withdrew her legs and brought them to her chest, resting her chin on her knees and looking up at Emma through her eyelashes, her dark eyes full of hurt and oddly, yearning.

 

 

 

 

“Regina, I didn’t mean it like that” Emma spoke softly as she withdrew her hand. “I was just angry and you know I really don’t know how to manage my temper. I do trust you. I just….I just cannot understand how you are taking everything Rob is saying on face value?”

 

 

 

“I’m not the skeptical and cautious one dear. That has always been you. I’ve always trusted people far too easily, something which has ruined me in ways I can’t even speak of. But I’ve also come to rely and trust my instincts more than ever before. Because now they come from a place of hope and light, not from a place of darkness and need” Regina answered.

 

 

 

“I met Rob only this morning, he was in need of help and being the Mayor of this town it was my duty to do so. If there has ever been a role I’ve played with as much sincerity and honesty as I have of being Henry’s mother, it has been being the Mayor of this town. I created this place and I deem it my duty to also protect and represent it. If I ever felt he was a threat to this town or Henry, believe me, I’d be the first one to have fire balled him out of town”. Regina hesitated before continuing “As for being in his arms, both of those times were purely a case of bad co-incidence, nothing more, nothing less”.

 

 

 

 

“Three times…”

 

 

 

 

Regina’s questioning eyes met Emma’s ~~angry~~ _jealous_ ones. “In the morning, when you were talking to him on the street…” her voice trailed off.

 

 

 

 

“You were there in the morning?” Regina’s eyebrows shot up in recognition “it was you even outside my home, when I was with Hook…” Emma merely nodded

 

 

 

 

“I’ve been staking out at the graveyard all these days. I’ve been trying to find you Regina. Ever since I got back to Storybrooke and you didn’t answer your door. I knew something was terribly wrong when your cell was switched off – I know I was supposed to call you that night, but something occurred and I wanted to tell you in person probably because I didn’t want to be a coward and you certainly owed the truth from me, but also because I wasn’t ready to accept it myself.”

 

 

 

Emma now shifted nervously at the edge of the bed where she was sitting. Regina could sense the awkward tension building up in the room, and her own hurt stabbing into her chest as if a solid ice shard was being thrust in. She grabbed hold of the sheet, hoping to dull away some of that unbearable pain.

 

 

 

“So I’ve been searching for you day and night” Emma continued, her green eyes soft and tired. It was also then Regina noticed the dark circles under her eyes and an overall sense of exhaustion in the way her body moved “I can’t explain it, but I felt a pull of some sorts every time I got near your father’s crypt. I knew you had to be somewhere around, but I, I couldn’t find you and it was so frustrating…”

 

 

 

 

“Wait, you came there everyday? But I saw you only twice!” Regina blurted in the middle of Emma’s talk.

 

 

 

 

 

Emma looked at Regina amazed, like a child who has just scored a 100 in her Math test and wasn’t expecting it “So you were there? Around there, somewhere? My feeling…that tug…it was right?” Regina nodded her head.

 

 

 

 

A smile broke around the corners of her mouth “Regina you didn’t see me the other times because well I cast an invisibility spell”

 

 

 

Regina’s mouth fell open “You did what? I remember someone cribbing about that lesson when I was teaching them, arguing only true perverts would end up casting such a spell”

 

 

 

“Oh please, wipe that smirk out of your face” Emma feigned annoyance “the only reason I said that was because that spell was too complicated to learn and I was more interested in eating your chocolate brownie than racking my brains over remembering the words to a spell that I was pretty sure I’d never have to use.”

 

 

 

 

“Never say never huh?” Regina quickly chipped in.

 

 

 

 

 

Emma smiled, continuing “I thought if I got Henry along with me, then you’d find it difficult to resist coming out. But you didn’t” she bowed her head down and stared at her shoes, letting out a small sigh “I was so scared Regina. I didn’t even know if that feeling was right, I thought what if something had gone wrong with you? What if some bitter fairytale character had finally decided to go after you? I didn’t grow up with them, I don’t know if they’re truly capable of forgiving you and so I just had to wonder if…”

 

 

 

 

Regina’s hand darted out of the sheet and slowly inched the way to Emma’s. They loosely brushed against her finger and Regina’s pinky finger tentatively curled around the blonde’s pinky finger. Emma wordlessly locked them and looked up at Regina “I thought I was going to lose my mind. I just know it had something to do with me. But I don’t know what it was..is. We were doing so well Regina. What caused you to behave so rashly? Why did you?”

 

 

 

 

Regina instantly tore off her finger from the delicate but firm lock of Emma’s pinky finger. As if suddenly someone had set her ~~heart~~ hand on fire. She kicked off the sheets, trying to scurry away from the bed. But a sudden grasp on her ankles cut the movement short.

 

 

 

 

“Miss Swan, let me go” Regina struggled to pry her feet away from the blonde’s tight hold. “I told you I don’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry I worried Henry and you with my sudden disappearance, but I assure you the next time I’ll act more responsibly. Now if you can please stop acting like a rowdy ruffian.”

 

 

 

Emma shook her head “Not until you tell me why”

 

 

 

“Very well then” Regina spoke calmly. Within a second she thrust out both her legs and started trying to kick Emma, with the hopes that the blonde’s grip would falter amidst the struggle.

 

 

 

“Oww…What the fuck Regina” Emma yelped in noticeable pain. “That is the second time in a day you’ve used your leg as a weapon on me”

 

 

 

“Serves you right” Regina hissed “let me go or I’ll kick harder next time”

 

 

 

Emma loosened her grip, which caused Regina to be surprised. But then the blonde smiled at her wickedly “ Actually, you know what, NO, not until you tell me why” and Emma slowly raised one of Regina’s legs right up to her lips and kissed her foot softly

 

 

 

 

“What on earth…” before Regina could complete she suddenly felt herself being moving. Emma had grabbed both of her ankles and in a split second, pulled Regina towards her. The force and Regina’s lack of resistance meant she landed straight on Emma’s lap, her legs splayed across each side of Emma’s hip.

 

 

 

“Much better” Emma teased. She wrapped one arm tightly behind Regina’s waist to stop her from shifting and another was resting on top of Regina’s left inner thigh with much more pressure than was necessary “Now you were saying”

 

 

 

 

Regina felt her throat go dry. Not a single coherent thought was being formed in her mind. Her otherwise sassy mouth now remained and she had to bite her inner cheek from letting out rebelling gasps to escape and betray how terribly aroused she felt.

 

 

 

 

Emma on her part seemed unfazed. If anything, she looked like a triumphed warrior, holding on to her war spoils. Regina could feel the blonde’s breath caress her cheeks. Her arms ached to wrap themselves around Emma’s neck and then snake their way down her chest and plunder those mounts. Instead, she dug her fingers into the blonde’s hair and tugged at them hard.

 

 

 

 

“Fuck!” Emma’s smirk had disappeared from her face, but her eyes still shone with boldness “if you want to play dirty…” saying that she leaned forward and dug her teeth into Regina’s collarbone.

 

 

 

It was a cry more born out of pleasure than pain, but Regina wasn’t going to let Emma gloat. So she once again pulled Emma’s hair with such ferocity that the force caused the blonde’s head to jerk backward, with Regina’s dark eyes now hovering on top of the forest green ones.

 

 

 

“Tell me why Regina…” Emma whispered softy.

 

 

 

 

“First Emma, you tell me why not?” Regina questioned softly, her voice laced with hurt.

 

 

 

 

“Why not what?”

 

 

 

 

“Why…why didn’t you choose me?”

 

 

 

 

Confusion swam through Emma’s eyes, her hand resting on Regina’s inner though moved further up and her fingers hovered dangerously close to Regina’s core. The action caused heat to rise in between her legs and instinctively Regina tried to clench them together shut.

 

 

 

 

“ _Emma_ ” Regina let out a ragged breath “please….” it came out as a whimper

 

 

 

 

“Regina, you know I’ve never been good with words. When we were away, the texts gave me the freedom to express myself without feeling intimidated by your presence or letting our circumstances build a wall. We were doing so good, and I knew, even though I couldn’t understand it all, it was OK because my heart had already accepted it and in time my head would connect all the dots too. But then that night, as always, when my heart decides, fate decides to intervene. This time, unlike when I chose to be with Neal, I didn’t have to think of Henry….” Emma abruptly stopped talking and Regina noticed the blonde was trying to stop a sob from breaking out.

 

 

 

“Sssssh” Regina’s hand sought out the blonde’s cheeks as she cupped them tenderly. “You don’t have to say anything else Emma” Regina’s thumb grazed the blonde’s trembling lips.

 

 

 

Regina felt Emma’s body shiver. “Wait, I haven’t answered your question honestly, actually it is incomplete. Neal…” Regina cut her off by covering the blonde’s mouth with her palm. She smiled at Emma, her eyes shining with understanding and softness.

 

 

 

Underneath her palm she felt Emma smile back. A tear then slipped through the corner of Emma’s left eye and Regina immediately moved her hand away from the blonde’s mouth to catch it from falling on the bed. She brought her finger that held Emma’s drop of tear to her mouth and sucked it “You are my sea, even though my ship can never make a home on your waters, the scent of your salt will always anchor me amidst any storm”

 

 

 

 Emma instinctively grabbed hold of both of Regina’s wrists and placed light kisses on each of them alternatively. As Regina’s eyes closed in surrender, like the evening sun setting in the sky, she gently released her hold and cupped Regina’s cheeks, pulling her down, closer to Emma’s face, placing a tender kiss on Regina’s forehead. It took Regina by surprise and when she opened her eyes, she found her own lips tantalizingly close to Emma’s, and it took every defiant bone in her body to not close the tiniest of gaps between them.

 

 

 

 

But her stomach did a backflip when she saw that Emma was going to surrender, this time she wasn’t going to run away. She braced herself to be kissed by the person who she had learned to love and who also taught her how to love. She almost felt Emma’s upper lip skim like silk over hers, when a loud roar made them both jump apart “Get your hands off her SWAN!” Hook thundered, his hook crashing on the door of Regina’s master bedroom.

 

 

 

 

“Jesus, fucking Christ” Emma said truly exasperated. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she pulled away Regina’s legs that were curled around her hips and as Regina fumbled out of her lap, Hook cam barging in towards the bed.

 

 

 

Emma stood up grunting and almost ready to throw a punch, when Hook came to a standstill by placing himself between her and Regina.

 

 

 

 

It was Regina who immediately tried to shove Hook away so that she could situate herself between the furious Savior and an equally infuriated pirate. But Hook was adamant and once again placed himself in front of Emma and her, standing toe to toe with the Savior.

 

 

 

 

“I thought I already warned you to stay away from Her Majesty”

 

 

 

 

Emma rolled her eye and Regina for some reason couldn’t stop feeling amused at both their reactions.

 

 

 

 

“Jones, it is OK. We were just talking….”

 

 

 

 

“Talking?” he cut her off with a mocking glare “she had her filthy paws all over you!”

 

 

 

 

“Screw you Hook. I’m no dog. And you better take your pathetic little ass out of here before I leave you with much less of your manhood than you walked in with”  Emma was already getting in position, when Regina tried once again to break the fight by trying to move from behind Hook.

 

 

 

Hook though blocked her latest attempt too, which caused Emma to lose her temper and land a blow right across his cheek “You keep your filthy paws off her, do you understand mate?”

 

 

 

Just as he was going to retaliate Regina finally pushed him away with force and stood right in front of him, her back facing Emma “Stop it” she yelled, turning around now to face Emma “both of you.”

 

 

 

Emma clenched her jaw and once again locked eyes with Hook.

 

 

 

“Regina I can’t believe you are standing here defending her. HER. HER. I thought we had decided you were no longer going to let her walk all over you!!” Hook sounded more disappointed than angry.

 

 

 

 

“Jones, this is not what it looks like” Regina tried to reason with him

 

 

 

 

“No, this is exactly what it looks like Hook” Emma smirked

 

 

 

 

“Emma!” Regina scolded the blonde, who just shrugged her shoulders. “What? Who gave this ass the right to barge inside your bedroom like that and police me about how I must touch you or not? Why the fuck can he stand there and judge me?”

 

 

 

 

“I can because I am Regina’s F.R.I.E.N.D” he stressed the last word with the arrogance of an old childhood friend. “It is with that right that I demand you stop coming anywhere near her.”

 

 

 

 

“Oh please,” Emma scoffed “She is my **friend** too, so don’t think you are some unicorn to her”

 

 

 

 

“Friend Swan? Really?” Hook mocked “Do you even know the meaning of friendship or what a friend really is? I suggest you first understand the depth of those two words before you start throwing around empty words. Besides, I am her best friend. BEST!” he laughed heartily and winked at Regina

 

 

 

“Delusions of grandeur” Emma said in a nasal sing-song voice. “Seems like you’ve have had too many a bottle of rum already Hook, explains all the shit you’ve just pulled, not entirely though –some things are genetic.”

 

 

 

 

“Who better to realize genetics sucks other than you Swan”

 

 

 

 

Regina was fed up with the bickering and in an attempt to pacify the blonde, she slowly pushed her hand backwards, reaching out for Emma’s hand. When she was able to grasp it, she gave her a tight squeeze, and Emma immediately laced their fingers together.

 

 

 

 

“Get out of here Hook. I am not going to giving you another warning”

 

 

 

Regina knew Hook wasn’t going to back down. So she decided to try another approach “Jones, Miss Swan and I have talked, and we have settled things between us. We are going to do what is best for Henry – for that is all that matters – so I’ve let it go and we’re going to move forwards, doing the right thing”

 

 

 

“She was going to stick her tongue down your throat if I didn’t get here on time Regina. I thought I heard you scream” Hook retorted. The image of Emma biting down on her collar bone resurfaced in Regina’s mind and she felt goose bumps prick her skin.

 

 

“I don’t see that as letting go. It would only mess things up and take you a million steps backwards! And since when is adultery defined as doing the right thing?”

 

 

 

Regina’s eyes drooped down in embarrassment and remorse. She let go of Emma’s fingers.

 

 

 

The action irritated Emma and she spun Regina around “Adultery?” Emma’s eyes implored hers.

 

 

 

“I don’t think Baelfire will be mighty pleased to know that the woman who he proposed to just a few days ago wants to play tonsil hockey with Henry’s other mother” Hook’s tone sarcastic and bitter.

 

 

 

“You knew?” Emma questioned Regina, disbelief and guilt shining in her bluish-green eyes.  Regina silently nodded, her chin still resting on her chest.

 

 

 

 

“Of course she knew. Why the heck do you think she had to go underground? You toyed with her heart and then broke it, so that you could go back to playing housie housie with that mumble of the rumpel!” Hook ended with air quotes.

 

 

 

 

He then edged closer towards them and looked directly at Regina “We had promised each other that we won’t let people define us by our past and that we shall not love someone to whom we have to prove ourselves worthy of being loved.” He sighed and then continued “Regina, you deserve far better than this. You know it. Don’t let her get into your head again, for this time if she leaves, the abyss of darkness you will plunge in will be so deep, nobody can save you from it, not even you yourself!”

 

 

 

 

Regina’s body stiffened and she wrapped both her arms around her stomach as if to comfort herself. Hook moved in sensing his words were harsher than he had meant for it to be but was immediately stopped by a clearly irritated but oddly composed blonde “Hook, I appreciate that you are looking out for her. But I want you to leave us alone for a few minutes. We need to talk privately and I promise you I will leave after that.”

 

 

 

Hook looked unconvincingly at Emma as he debated what must be done, but a side glance from Regina, gave him the necessary signal and so he began moving towards the door. He turned around just as he was about to step outside “Don’t keep her too long, the soup will get cold”

 

 

 

Even though Hook had left, Regina still hadn’t lifted her eyes from the ground. Emma gently reached for her chin “Regina, please look at me”.

 

 

 

The brunette remain unmoved for a few seconds, but when Emma’s other arm enveloped her in a hug, she looked up straight into empathetic green eyes, staring back at her with kindness and a lot of love “ I wanted to tell you myself Regina. When…he…when Neal said he had finally tracked the person, and we had to get going, I felt relief wash over me. My first thought was that I was finally going to go home – to see you. Then I panicked almost immediately – I was going to SEE you!”

 

 

 

Regina couldn’t help but smile at the admission. “Don’t get me wrong Regina” Emma now moved her other arm from Regina’s chin to behind her waist, locking her in a warm embrace “it was incredible to spend two days chatting with you so honestly and unguardedly but I wondered if things would be the same when we met face to face.”

 

 

“What I wasn’t expecting was to enter an old Italian restaurant with Henry, and finding Neal to be the only one standing in the middle of it all, a bouquet of red roses in hand” Regina squirmed uncomfortably in her arms and titled her head sideward, but Emma once again brought her hand to the brunette’s chin and forced her to look at the blonde “Neal proposed to me later that evening – apparently everyone was on this plan, including Henry and my parents. Neal even had them on speaker phone when he was proposing and Henry, well Henry, I’ve never seen him happier than I did then” she sighed.

 

 

 

Regina could no longer bear to stand being held by Emma. Everyone would be happy if Neal and Emma had their happy ending. After all if August hadn’t cunningly crafted this entire string of events, the curse wouldn’t be broken, and Emma would still be in Tallahassee living the life she truly deserved with her husband and son.

 

 

 

“Miss Swan” the utterance of those words caused a frown to appear on Emma’s face “Emma…I think you’ve made the right choice. I can’t fault you for it, any more than I can fault myself for the choices I’ve made. When Henry told me…”

 

 

 

“Wait, Henry told you? When did that happen?” Emma eyes had widened with surprise and she rested both of her arms on her hips “I thought Mary Margaret would’ve been the first person to have tattled away”

 

 

 

 

“No, Henry sent me a text that night…”

 

 

 

“What?! He never mentioned anything…when did he…he..” she fumbled with her words as she reached into her pocket to retrieve her cell phone. She quickly scrolled to her sent messages folder and all the color drained off her face

 

 

 ** _Black hole_ _(_ 11: 34 pm): ** _Mom, it is me Henry! Been trying to call you since such a long time now, but your phone says switched off. Dad proposed to Emma tonight Mom! Finally, everyone is going to get their happy ending! I’m so happy. I’ll see you tomorrow mom. Good night_

She looked up to see if Regina was watching her. Regina on her part was standing there looking so very small and defeated. Emma’s eyes quickly scanned a second text sent a minute later

 

 **Black hole (11: 35 pm):**   _Oh and I am going to be the best man at their wedding!!!!_

 

 

It was then that her entire mouth opened up wide and she blinked slowly, wide eyed as a realization knocked the wind out of her lungs.

 

Regina who by now was staring intently at her, had confusion written in the crease of her forehead. That confusion gave way to impatience and anger when she opened her mouth to comment, but Emma’s sudden fit of loud laughter rang across her bedroom.

 

“I am glad you find much pleasure in kicking me when I’m down, but I’ll be really grateful Miss Swan if you could take this revelry somewhere else – somewhere far away from me!”

 

“Regina, oh god…” Emma tried to control the remnants of the laughter still threatening to burst out of her “I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at myself. At how fucked up this entire situation is! If this wasn’t such a tense situation, honestly, this would be comedy gold”

 

“Emma..” Regina’s voice was threatening and sharp “I think we’re done here. I need to get down to Hook and the soup…” she was walking away from Emma, when suddenly Emma’s hand grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

 

“Wait..” Emma pleaded

 

“No..stop touching me..I hate it” Regina had begun to hit Emma’s arms.

 

“Oh really? You hate it huh?” Emma grinned wickedly as she slipped one leg between Regina’s thighs.

 

Regina gasped “Now, I have reason to believe otherwise Madam Mayor” Emma leaned in and almost whispered into the brunette’s ear.

 

She chuckled when Regina once again tried to unsuccessfully break free, and aware that the brunette’s next move would be the predictable stamping on Emma’s feet, the blonde spun Regina around, bringing one arm across her chest locking her in a tight hold and the other snaking its way across her waist pulling the brunette completely against her chest.

 

“Regina, now listen to me carefully” Emma struggled to speak because the stubborn Mayor was fighting back with much more force now “oww stop trying to kick me woman!”

 

“Then let me be. Don’t talk to me Miss Swan. Let go or I’m calling for Hook” Regina huffed.

 

“Oh yeah because all the other times he didn’t get his ass kicked by me” Emma spoke arrogantly, a breathless Regina now trying to pinch Emma’s arms  “Besides, if I don’t talk to you, then how can I tell an infuriating, crazy, stupid woman like you that I didn’t accept Neal’s proposal”

 

“What?” Regina’s whole body suddenly went limp. Emma let go of her hold and Regina immediately turned around to face her “You..but…Henry’s text…”

 

“I didn’t say anything at the restaurant. Neal just understood my silence and well we just hugged each other. But I suppose Henry mistook that for a yes. I think he and Neal had already discussed about him being the best man at our wedding, so…”

 

 

“You didn’t say a NO either” Regina said her eyes scanning Emma’s for some reassurance.

 

 

“No, I didn’t. I was so confused. I mean this is what I had always wanted. This is what my fairytale ending is supposed to be. Just like my parents, with my son and Neal. But then now you’re part of my family, Henry’s family and I cannot think of my life without you in it Regina”

 

“Emma” Regina closed her eyes shut, when she opened them it was soft and held within it compassion and assurance “If you are worried that choosing him will mean losing me as a friend, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Love is never selfish, lovers are. And there is no greater form of love than friendship. I will always be in your life as a co-parent and as your friend…”

 

 

Emma brought a finger to Regina’s lips and silenced her “That’s just it, I…I don’t want you to be just my friend Regina” The brunette looked at her with a  mix of confusion and excitement “I don’t even know what this whatever it is between us, really means” Emma motioned her hand back and forth between them. “But I will be damned if I didn’t try to find out”

 

Regina smiled at her softly “Emma, I don’t want you to make any decision based on fear…”

 

“The only thing I fear Regina is not doing right by Henry”

 

Regina’s eyes reflected her agreement “But you know what Regina” Emma continued “This is not about Henry or Henry’s happiness or anyone else’s. It is about ours. He cannot be happy if we both are miserable Regina. If there is a chance that we are each other’s happy ending, then I am sure Henry will come around to accept and be part of this new beginning” she ended with extended her arm out to Regina.

 

Regina accepted it, tentatively, but the minute Emma pulled her close, she wrapped her arms around Emma’s neck and rested her head on her shoulder. She felt Emma smile into her own, as the blonde left a trail of soft sweet kisses.

 

“So what are you saying Emma?” Regina questioned, still too afraid to place a kiss on Emma, fearing any minute Emma was going to reject her.

 

Emma withdrew from the hug and looked right into those mesmerizing brown eyes “Let’s not make any promises to each other. How about we just start off with accepting that we deserve happiness – however which way it comes. You have a special place in my heart Regina, for now is that not enough? How about if for now I truly commit to not running away and just staying, staying right here, with you and in this moment? Is that good enough for you?”

 

The answer came in the form of blissful tears that escaped Regina’s eyes.

 

“Thank you” Emma mouthed silently, her smile as wide and earnest as ever.

 

Wiping off her tears, Regina sighed “And to think I wasted 13 precious days living on pasta that came out of a packet and instant meals that came out from cardboard boxes” her mouth twisted in disgust as though the taste was back on her tongue.

 

“At least that isn’t half as bad as living on a diet of scotch and crackers, without much sleep and a sulky-bossy teenager as a roommate!” Emma rolled her eyes “Lady, you had it good. Besides it was all your doing!”

 

“I’m sorry Emma. I can’t imagine what I must have put you through. I just couldn’t think of any other better alternative” Regina laced her fingers with Emma’s and gave it a small squeeze.

 

“There always has been a better alternative Regina – talking to each other.  Which neither of us has ever chosen; instead of boxing everything within you, please talk to me first. I may not be a good talker myself, but I am a very good listener. And I too shall do the same. No matter how mad we get at each other, please let us not go to bed without talking it out, OK?”

 

“Bed?” Regina teased Emma causing her cheeks to flush pink “Oh I mean, before the night ends…or whatever…I didn’t…” Emma tried to look anywhere else except at the brunette herself.

 

“Relax Miss Swan. I am only teasing. After all this uncertainty you’ve put me through, it is the least you owe me”

 

“Speaking of owing, so do you Madam Mayor” Emma wiggled her eyebrows as a perplexed Regina pouted at her.

 

“You promised me a chocolate cake, remember?” Looking at Regina’s aah expression she continued “So how about I come around for dinner with Henry and for dessert we have your delicious cake?”

 

 

“Oh, not today. Rob is supposed to come over” Regina stopped when she Emma jerked her hand away, crossing them across her chest and standing there sulking like exactly Henry does when Regina doesn’t give him what he wants.

 

“Emma, C’mon, I thought we got over this. It is just one dinner and then he will be on his way!” Regina was hoping the blonde wouldn’t fight her on this, at least not to the extent that she would have to indeed cancel the plan with Rob.

 

“No Regina, you are Ok with it. I still find him creepy and disgusting and rude and obnoxious and ugly…”

 

“Why Miss Swan, I think someone is jealous” Regina teased lovingly.

 

“Please!!!!!!!!!! Me and of Rambo boy? The world will have to end for that!” Emma said rolling her eyes.

 

“He is kind of manly though. Would have made for a great fairytale character” Regina was now just trying to irritate the blonde. In all honesty, he really wasn’t her type in men – she preferred the lankier, softer featured ones like Daniel. The thought of Daniel made Regina smile, she thought wherever he was, he would be happy for her and proud at her for having loved again.

 

“Ugh…I’m more manly than him Regina. Haven’t you noticed my guns?” saying that Emma proceeded to remove her black jacket and started posing like a body builder who is on stage to impress the judge.

 

It earned her a deep throaty chuckle from Regina and in a dash Emma pounced on Regina holding her in a big bear hug “Madam Mayor that laugh of yours is going to be the death of me!”

 

Regina shyly placed a kiss on the tip of Emma’s nose and smiled into oceanic blue eyes, happiness surfing around in them.

 

Emma cleared her throat “So, one dinner. That’s it right? After that no more talk of Rambo boy?” Regina quickly nodded and tucked a few strands of blonde hair behind Emma’s ear.

 

“When I saw you bump into him in the morning, I was almost about to come punch him. But I figured if you saw me, you’d panic and then who knows where you’d  purple smoke yourself away to. But at the office, as you saw, I just couldn’t control myself anymore. You may not see it Regina, but I can recognize the look in his eyes, it is how I used to look at you initially”

 

“With hate? Contempt? Disgust? Anger?” Regina probed Emma, a slight smirk on her face.

 

“No. I wanted to believe it was all of that and I guess I did too. But now when I think about it, it was nothing but simple desire. A desire I couldn’t understand and so it became easier with time to be frustrated, angry, pretend I hated you….stopped me from losing my mind”

 

“Well Miss Swan, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to Rob. When we were stuck in the diner, he was nothing but respectful. I think you’re reading too much into his kindness”

 

“Aah don’t even remind me of that scene. The jerk diluted our special moment -- only we both shared that, until now. I hated how gently he set you down. It reminded me of how brutally I shoved you off, after that fire at the town hall.” Emma’s eyes stared into the distance.

 

“Don’t be silly Emma. That was a totally different situation. Plus, I still prefer my knight in read leather jacket” Regina ran her thumb pad across Emma’s jaw line in a soft, slow motion.

 

That got Emma to cheer up “Still I hated how he had his arms around you. I just hate how he looks at you. I hate him..just all of him. Ugh” Regina laughed in amusement and slowly licked her lower lip “I’m glad you do Miss Swan”

  
For a minute Emma held her gaze and then all of a sudden remembered something “That reminds me Regina, why didn’t you poof yourself away from the fire? Why let him rescue you?” Emma’s eyes had now suddenly changed colour to a forest green. Weird Regina thought to herself, did her eye colour reflect her emotions?

 

“Because Rob doesn’t know anything about this town and certainly not about magic. I couldn’t threaten this town’s safety by placing my own above it”

 

“I can’t believe my mother still doesn’t think you’ve changed” As soon as Emma blurted it, she realized she had made a mistake.

 

“So how do you think Snow is going to react to this latest development?” Regina knew one of Emma’s biggest concerns – apart from Henry – has always been her parents. Rightly so, because the history and animosity that Regina shared with them, made it impossible for either of them to start on a fresh clean slate. The only way would be to tolerate each other and perhaps not cross paths too often. But would Snow agree to it? She loved her daughter, but she distrusted Regina much more than that. Besides Snow always saw in Regina as a step-mother, she was certain whatever her daughter felt for her step-mother, in snow’s eyes would only be deemed as something terribly wrong and incestuous.

 

“About that” Emma let out a deep sigh and spoke with hesitation “could we errr I don’t know…keep this between us for a while…until we’ve settled into something we are both comfortable with?”

 

To be honest Regina was relived to hear that. They already had a very complex relationship and unlike Regina, Emma was still only coming to terms with what she felt for Regina, so they already had their own challenges within the relationship, they certainly did not require pressure from outside forces to put fissures in this new blossoming equation.

 

“Of course my dear…I presume same goes for Henry?”

 

Emma smiled.

 

“So shall we go down then?” Regina enquired

 

“Ugh, I forgot about the idiot down there. I can’t believe you are friends with him! Did I tell you that I hate him too?”

 

“If left to you Miss Swan, you’d hate every other man that came near to me – except Henry of course” Regina said, poking a finger into Emma’s chest playfully.

 

“That’s not true Regina. I think I’d hate every woman too. Besides, I think I hated Rob even before I knew of his existence!” They both chuckled and Regina pulled Emma towards the door.

 

“Poor Rob though. I think every time he came around to talk to me, he was threatened by some or the other. From Hook to you to Henry and what do you know, even by Snow!”

 

Emma raised her eyebrows in surprise “Wow, now that is truly my mother!” Regina just rolled her eyes and they had almost reached the door when Emma slung her jacket across her shoulder and stopped moving “Ummm Regina, what was it that my mother said, that upset you so much?”

 

“Emma, can we talk about this later. I think we’ve done too much of talking for one day. We shall talk about this, but not now?” Regina requested.

 

The blonde gave her hand a tight squeeze of understanding and began moving forward “Wait” Regina spoke, her voice barely a whisper “we can’t go down holding hands. Jones will suspect something is up. So why don’t I go first and then you can join me?” she tried to pull her fingers away from Emma’s but the blonde was not letting go.

_“Emmaaaa_ …”

 

“Fine. But I’m not eating any of that soup. For all you know he might poison my bowl of soup and put me under a sleeping curse. I can’t put that past him!”

 

At Regina’s exaggerated pffft sound Emma suggested wickedly “Go on pffft me as much as you want, but the way I see it, the loss will be yours Madam Mayor. But then again, now that I think of it, could be your trick too.”

 

At Regina’s apparent confusion, Emma continued with a smirk “It gives Your Majesty a good opportunity to kiss me” Emma winked at Regina, who tore away quickly from the blonde, in an effort to hide the blush that had rose across her cheeks.

 

But more than anything else, Regina wanted to steady her heart that was beating furiously in her chest, because apparently the blonde had not even realized the implications behind her suggestion. It meant that Emma actually, deep down, already considered Regina to be her **true love**.

 

Maybe like Hook said, everyone gets a second chance after all…

 

                                                        x-x-x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet and if there are any mistakes do forgive me, haven't had the time to proofread it.


	9. Cha-Cha-Cha

Frankly, Hook had been incredibly annoying over the past few days. Partly because he was being extremely critical and distrusting of Emma, and partly (mostly) because he was being honest, and if Regina had to truly keep her feelings aside and analyze the arguments, she would realize that he was merely being a realist.

 

 

 

So when for the umpteenth time, Hook looked at her in a way she did at Henry, admonishing him for slipping his hand in the cookie jar (after his second serving), Regina decided that like Henry she wasn’t going to argue back but instead would studiously sulk until Hook felt guilty enough to cave in. Only problem being, Emma wasn’t just some sugary delight – she was more like a sweet and sour pickle actually– whose craving Regina couldn’t control if she willed so.

 

 

 

 Miss Swan, she was aware, was more like a drug to her at the moment --one that she desperately needed as an aid, to achieve an apparition called normalcy in her life, yet at the same time the dependence of which could turn her into a self-destructive addict, one who paradoxically wouldn’t be able to separate the lines between the normal and the abnormal.

 

 

 

Which is why she understood why Hook was so critical and up-in-arms about the entire situation and if she were being honest with herself, she too would have been as nagging, if it had been he who had embarked on a secretive relationship with the Sheriff.

 

 

“Jones, really” Regina said, untying the strings of her apron, “you’ve been at this for two days now. Surely, if you can’t get the hint in my bored-to-death-ready-to-pop-out eyes, at least for the sake of your own sanity, leave it be”. She had just set in the chocolate cake she had baked for Emma and Henry inside the oven and was now unrolling the shirt she had tucked up till her elbows.

 

 

 

“I’ve never known to have sanity my lady” Hook grinned “I thought my reputation preceded me. Besides, is that not why we make for such jolly mates, Your Majesty? It is our insanity that makes us both the true two crazies in this town!”

 

 

 

“You forget Rumpelstiltskin” the brunette clarified, eyeing the timer once again. She wanted this to be the best cake she had ever made.

 

 

 

“No Regina. He isn’t crazy; unlike us, emotions don’t drive him -- power does. He is your perfect textbook villain. His weapon of choice is manipulation, which ironically makes him a coward too. Never seen that often” Hook answered, his voice so low, it could barely conceal the bitterness he still felt for the Crocodile.

 

 

 

“All villains are cowards Hook.” Regina wore that perfect politician’s face yet her voice lacked the confidence “Just because our choice of weapons have differed, doesn’t mean that there are levels to how despicable his crimes have been v/s what ours were.”

 

 

 

“Well my love, if you want to argue on those lines, then I don’t think our so called heroes are any less of a coward then” he scoffed and moved towards one of the drawers, opening it by tugging at the handle with his hook and using the other arm to toy around with the oven’s timer.

 

 

 

Regina who was turning away towards the fridge, managed to catch his movement, through the corner of her eye “Jones! What on earth has gotten into you?” she thundered from across him, rushing almost instantly to set it back at the temperature she needed it to be.

 

 

 

“I’ve already told you Regina, if you ask me, this does not bode well for the future” Hook was now nodding his head from side to side vigorously.

 

 

 

“I don’t remember anyone asking you Captain”

 

 

 

“Look Regina, I’m on your side here, OK? I’m trying to be the good friend who is supporting your decision, but I also need to be the best friend who tells you that it is a shitty one indeed”

 

 

 

On meeting with stoic silence, clearly exasperated, Hook muttered under his breath for a good few seconds. Even though all of it was incomprehensible to Regina, the word Baelfire echoed out like the name of lovers yelled atop a silence valley.

 

 

Finally, he sank down on a chair, hoping the act would bring some semblance of composure to his voice “Swan hasn’t rejected Baelfire’s proposal. She is just being indecisive about it, because of her **apparent** feelings for you now. But Regina, what happens if her clouded mind finally clears up and the sprinkles from that shower don’t end up watering your garden of love, but his instead? Have you thought about the repercussions?”

 

 

 

“Well if you are suggesting that I will go back to my old self, unleashing curses and destroying the happiness of others, you have got it wrong Captain” she was kind of irritated now with what she presumed Hook had been trying to possibly insinuate, considering after all that had happened over the past year and how she no longer looked to her past to find her happiness.

 

 

 

“Argh, that is not what I meant Regina” Hook spoke through gritted teeth.

 

 

 

“Then what?” Regina questioned him without batting an eyelid “what are you implying Jones?”

 

 

 

Hook let out a frustrated grunt “Regina, would I be wrong to say that this is the first time you are going to be in a **_‘real’_** relationship as an adult?”

 

 

 

Before Regina could open her mouth to protest about Daniel and how being 18 years old is an adult, Hook gestured for her to remain quiet “No, Daniel does not count. You were still a teenager Regina and a naïve, simple girl who was terribly fearful of her mother and cautious of the world, when that happened. Now you are none of that, you own this world in some ways and you certainly don’t have your mother to influence your endings”

 

 

 

“My mother has an uncanny knack – like all mothers do– to somehow influence their children’s lives, beyond their grave Jones. In fact, just because people are dead, doesn’t mean we don’t carry them within us – we do, either as ghosts of our scars or the sun in our smiles.” she sighed

 

 

 

“Well, at least this time Regina, you can make your own choice. You either befriend the ghost or else let the sun fade away your scars.”

 

 

 

“Wow, I didn’t know you could sound so poetic and deep Captain?” her eyebrows furrowed as her voice clearly reflected the surprise she felt “hmmm kind of explains why Miss Lucas seems so smitten”. She winked at a furiously blushing Hook and once again checked up on the cake in the oven.

 

 

 

“Actually, Red doesn’t like the poetic side of me” he chuckled “the wolf prefers the more beastly me, if you know what I mean”

 

 

 

Regina rolled her eyes as she straightened up after checking on the cake in the oven “As long as she doesn’t get too hungry Jones. I don’t need to remind you how omnivorous Miss Lucas can be”

 

 

 

“Regina” Hook’s voice was strained and his eyes were – was she seeing correctly – reeking of an unknown brand of protectiveness.

 

 

“Captain, relax, where is thee sense of humor?” dissatisfaction clearly etched on her face, as she slowly moved forward and placed an arm across his shoulder,  “So we’re good? You’ve had the talk with me – how did you put it…errr….that a best friend must have? I heard you. So will you get out of my hair now?”

 

 

“Surely we have” Hook paused before moving her arm from his shoulder and nestling it in between his palms “but you do know that you need to have a _talk_ with Henry too?”

 

 

Regina eyes widened “With Henry?”  She deliberately turned her back towards him, hoping to avoid his questioning glare in return.

 

“Yes, of course with the Henry. More than the mess that Emma might leave you to clean, I fear for how entangled things might get between Henry and you, when he comes to know about this secret love affair” Hook’s eyes are probing her with questions, questions she in some way already knows the answer to, but fears to voice out loud because it will never be what she wants to hear.

 

 

 

“Emma felt - so did I - that it is better to keep this away from him temporarily, until things settle down or we’re sure about….”

 

 

 

“Regina!” Hook doesn’t even wait for her to complete and is already besides her, grabbing her by the arm and spinning her around so that she ends up looking directly into his eyes. “Are you out of your mind? Do you know what happened the last time you kept a secret from him? You almost LOST him. He hates being lied to, almost all children do.”

 

 

 

“Even though they have no trouble doing it themselves, well at least my son doesn’t”   
At Hook’s questioning gaze, she softly continues “He didn’t tell Emma about the text, that he sent to me the night Baelfire proposed”

 

 

 

 

“Well technically Regina, withholding information isn’t lying” Hook lets go of her arm and shrugs his shoulders as if in he was in completely solidarity with Henry here.

 

 

 

“I can’t help but wonder why he did that” Regina was clearly unhappy with where this conversation was going but she found she could not stop herself either “Emma is of the opinion he was too excited with Neal proposal leading to a culmination of this fantasy happy ending that has been brewing in his head for so long, that the reality of the situation didn’t register.”

 

 

She moved now to the sink to rinse out the mugs of coffee that they had both drunk from minutes ago. The thoughts trickling in her head were now dancing to the rhythm of the running water.

 

 

“But the thing is Jones; I think I know my son far more than anyone else does in this world. Had he not miraculously been bestowed with the genetic goodness of his biological family, I have no doubt when I say that he truly would be nothing short of being passed off as an extension of my own blood and bones. I recognize in him the dark, manipulative, stubborn, steely, arrogant traits that I nurtured within me as the evil queen. Perhaps, in some ways I planted those seeds in him too, but like I said, due to the genetic coding of the Savior, his soul is infused with a superior – if at times highly superior -moral compass, unlike me, one that will stop him from ever truly being an extension of me, come hell, heaven or earth.”

 

 

 

She had finished rinsing out the cups and drying them, her hands working as if on auto-pilot and continued after a moment of silence “So I know he couldn’t have forgotten. Everything he does has a purpose. A plan if you may say so – operation something, always. I just can’t stop wondering what it is this time.”

 

 

 

Her mind was racing with thoughts and she didn’t notice that a cup was about to slip from her hands. Hook thankfully reached out for it, stopping it from crashing on the ground and placed it on the counter “Well then Your Majesty, all the more reason to talk to him”

 

 

                                                     

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Henry! Henry? Henry!” Emma’s voice tore across the room. She had just barged into her parent’s apartment and slammed the door with the force of an earthquake rattling the artifacts on the mantelpiece around.

 

 

 

“Emma?” Henry emerged from his bedroom, rubbing his eyes “what has mom done now?”

 

 

“What?” she had thrown her keys onto the kitchen table counter and was in the middle of losing her jacket when his question stopped her in her tracks.

 

 

“You have just entered the house in a foul mood” he flopped on the couch and tried to stifle a yawn “usually that has mom written all over it”

 

 

“No, my mood has got nothing to do with your mother” well not exactly she thought. “Why are you already asleep before dinner and where are your grandparents?”

 

 

 

Henry was once again rubbing his eyes, as if that would make him recollect better “Oh well Gramps got a call from Leroy about some pressing matter regarding what he wouldn’t tell, so he left to investigate that and well Red called later asking for some help with her date…did you know she was dating Captain Hook?” his eyes beamed with surprise but they also held a certain kind of disgust Emma thought. “Grandma went to help her out. I don’t remember how I dozed off, I was actually playing a game…” he shrugs as a yawn escaped his mouth.

 

 

 

Emma approached the couch and gently tugged at his legs making Henry sit upright “Good, I wanted to talk to you alone” she said placing one hand over this thigh

 

 

 

“What’s up Emma?”

 

 

He was looking at her with his hazel eyes, an odd mix of Regina’s brown and her own green she thinks. Then almost instantly chuckles at how ridiculous that thought was but recognizes that whatever she was feeling for the brunette ran far deeper than even she was beginning to accept.

 

 

His brows are furrowed, more at the amused chuckling rather than her silence she guesses “Well, Henry it is about me and Neal and how…I mean…just because someone proposes it does not automatically mean that it ends in marriage. Errr…what I’m trying to say Henry is that, while your father did ask me to marry him, I…”

 

 

 

“You didn’t say **Yes** ” he abruptly cut her off “Neal said that you needed more time to think. Getting back from Neverland has been stressful for everyone, but especially for you. So he said you needed more time and once things settled down, then we would all be one big family, soon” he ends with a gleeful smile.

 

 

 

Emma felt momentarily shocked with all that Henry had just told her. All along her ride back home from Regina’s she kept figuring out ways to deal with Henry’s disappointment once he realized there wasn’t going to be a wedding at all. So now she had no contingency plan to cope and process with the current scenario. The kid was still clinging on to the hope of one, which now looked improbable to Emma, but there was something about his put-together demeanor that wasn’t sitting right with her.

 

 

 

She should have been relieved but she found that she was not; “Oh ok kid…” her voice trailed off. Suddenly she realizes what had been bothering her. The thought sinks her heart and she debated if she needed to bring this up with Henry, and if now was the right time.

 

 

 

As if he could sense the question bubbling within her he asked, “What is it Emma?” looking much smaller and younger beyond his years.

 

 

 

Emma took her lower lip in between her teeth and nibbled at it from a moment, hesitation dancing out of her like an amateur artist about to debut ‘Why then did you text Regina implying that a wedding was in the works?”

 

 

She doesn’t miss the way he swallows hard as soon as the question is asked and how suddenly his eyes have darted away from hers and are searching for an anchor far across the room. Gently clasping her hand over his small fingers, she continued “Henry, I didn’t even know that you sent a text to her. You didn’t even tell me or anyone. Not even when we were searching for her and things had gone so out of hand. Why, why **didn’t** you?”

 

 

 

Henry shrugged “I don’t know. I just wanted to share the good news with mom I suppose”

 

 

 

“But there was no good news Henry. Neal had merely made a suggestion to get married, I had not said _Yes_!”

 

 

“You didn’t say **NO** either” Henry snapped back, with an earnest look in his eyes.

 

 

 

“Yes. I mean No” Emma’s face flushed with guilt “It is complicated Henry. I don’t think this is an appropriate topic to be discussed with my 13 year old son”

 

 

 

“Why don’t you want to marry dad Emma?” Henry’s eyes narrowed with accusation building in them “We finally will be the family we were meant to be! Maybe I could get a brother or sister soon too”

 

 

 

 

“Nooooooooooooo” the response left her mouth faster than she would have liked “I mean, I don’t think I want another child Henry. Besides, what is wrong with how we are now? What is all this family bullshit that has suddenly found its way into your head?”

 

 

 

“Mom would have asked you to mind your language” he informs her plainly. Emma rolled her eyes as he continued “I cannot be a _true_ prince if you both don’t get married!”

 

 

 

“Kid, you gotta be kidding me” Emma sighed, “who on earth is putting these thoughts in your head...Wait” she gestured to Henry as he was about to open his mouth and answer “don’t, I think I already know”

 

 

 

“Grams said that once you and Neal get married, only then can I be christened as the legal heir in waiting of the WhiteKingdom”. He got up and sprinted away to bring her a piece of paper from his bedroom. It was clearly a graph of some sorts, tabled and every name set in a different color, depicting their entire family tree and the kingdoms concerned.

 

 

 

Emma’s eyes widened when she got a grasp of what the paper is all about. “Henry, so this is what you have been doing instead of your homework?”

 

 

 

“Don’t be silly Emma” he scolded her, and then sat beside her, his fingers tracing the parts of the paper etched with the names of Emma, and Neal in gold (of course Emma thought) “See, this is how I broke down the entire fairy tale kingdom.” He then placed his finger on the pink block where the word Emma was written in purple crayon “You and Neal have to be together; else I cannot reign over the kingdom as a legal prince. I’d be more like how they call me here” his voice dropped off a few octaves, which made Emma look up from the paper straight at his downcast eyes

 

 

“What do they call you here Henry?”

 

 

“Bastard Prince” he utters in a beat

 

 

A horrific expression flitted over Emma’s face and she realized no words were coming out of her mouth, even if she was willing them to.

 

 

 

“The kids in class have all been poking fun at how only my parents are the ones in town who are aren’t married! Everybody else, even though they don’t have magical parents or a history of magic are all products of a legal union.”

 

 

 

Emma placed the paper on the table in front of the couch and moved towards the kitchen. Her throat felt clamped up and she was suddenly feeling very thirsty. Pouring herself a glass of water she eyed Henry “You think me marrying Neal will put a stop to all the bullying? Because one thing I’ve learned Henry” she took a sip of water and paused “a bully never stops until you stand up to them. If not this, they will find some other way to pick on you – it is only natural considering how powerful they must know you are by now. How your mothers are the Savior and the…”

 

 

 

“Evil Queen” he finishes.

 

 

 

She was going to say the **Mayor;** both in enormous positions of power and both with an abundance of magic within. It would be quite easy for Henry to be an easy target because of this.

 

 

 

“Excuse me?” Emma slammed the glass on the counter “What did you just call Regina?”

 

 

 

“I merely repeated what the other boys mock me with” Henry intoned, his voice flat without any emotion.

 

 

 

“But you know better right?” Emma questioned, which soon turned into a plead “Right Henry? Tell me kid you know better”

 

 

 

“I know she is not the woman in my book anymore Emma. But she still has made all these friends of mine suffer. They’ve had to spend years in a curse that took away their happy endings. I cannot tell them to trust her or forgive her!”

 

 

 

“Do you trust her Henry? Have you forgiven her?” Emma could not believe she was having this conversation with the one person who Regina loved the most in this world and who she had loved with every fiber of her being, even when she didn’t have the capacity to entirely do so.

 

 

 

Henry merely nodded his head.

 

 

 

“Then nothing else should matter. What others think of her should not bother you. I’m not asking you to defend her to your friends, but I would want you to stand up for her when it comes to defending her to yourself”

 

 

 

Rubbing her forehead, she pinched at the bridge of her nose and glanced at Henry whose eyes probed her with curiosity “What?” she asked him.

 

 

 

“Do you like my mother?” Emma’s eyebrows are up in surprise at the tone of his question rather than the question in itself.

 

 

 

“Why wouldn’t I like her?”

 

 

 

“Do you like her more than you do Neal?”

 

 

 

Ok now things were going to take a weird turn. She momentarily faltered in her step forward, when she realized what her son was implying at. How could he have known? Was she that easy to read? Who else knew? Did Neal recognize the reason for her refusal too? Her parents, god what were they thinking about all of this.

 

 

 

“I don’t know what you mean Henry” she lied. She figured it was better to stall than come clean, at least as of now.

 

 

Her eyes were still wide with surprise and she seemed so frazzled that even Henry felt sorry for her. He closed the distance between them and hugged her “Nothing. I guess I just wanted to know if you felt the same way as mom.”

 

 

 

Her hold around him tightened involuntarily “As mom?” She was hoping he wasn’t focusing on the quickened pace of her heartbeat.

 

 

 

 

Henry looked up at her, his hazel eyes full of adoration for her “I think mom likes you Emma”

 

 

 

“Well everyone likes me Henry. Who doesn’t love the Savior” she snorted playfully, hoping it would whitewash the feelings of panic that were swirling within her.

 

 

 

“No, not like that” he rolled his eyes “Mom likes you, like Neal _likes_ you”

 

 

“Oh…”

 

 

 

“Yeah! Strange huh?” he shrugged and Emma felt like her knees were about to give away “I overheard Grams telling Gramps that she could see it in mom’s eyes. Apparently she looks at you the way Gramps does Grams!” he finished incredulously.

 

 

 

She pushed him away to look him in the eye “Henry, how many times has your mom told you that it is not right to eavesdrop?”

 

 

 

He sighed and wordlessly walked away to perch himself back on the couch.

 

 

Emma followed him but didn’t sit next to him this time. Instead she leaned against the pillar, her hands tucked in her pockets, waiting for him to speak.

 

 

When the silence between them dragged on for more time than that could be deemed comfortable, Henry broke it by asking her a question that made her instantly miss the silence between them “Do you think it is normal? I mean for mom to have romantic feelings for you?”

 

 

 

She cursed herself for not having had the insight to talk about same-sex relationships before. Actually, she had presumed that her otherwise introspective and mature son wouldn’t have already understood the complexities of the world by simplifying all of it, as he had done with the curse and good v/s evil.

 

 

 

“Henry when has lo..liking someone not been normal? Feelings are the most basic emotion we as human beings experience all through our life – whether those are good feelings or bad. Sometimes the line between love and hate can be very thin.”

 

 

 

“But she is…she is…” Henry tried to find the right word but stopped “She was in love with Daniel so madly that she cursed an entire kingdom, she got married to the King and was his wife for so many years! And then Graham was her boyfriend for as long as I can remember Emma. How can she suddenly develop feelings for a woman? It is so gross if you asked me”

 

 

 

“Henry!” Emma scolded him, not too harshly but firmly enough to make him flinch “love is never gross. Do you get that kid? Besides, how much do you really know of your mother’s past? Except for whatever the book has told you or whatever Snow White has led you to believe? She could have dated women back in the fairytale land”

 

 

 

The thought sent a wave of jealousy through her, pricking at her heart and making her instantly want to see the woman – if such a woman existed – who had been her competition, once upon a time. Even though her jealousy was unfounded, she made a mental note to ask Regina who was prettier.

 

 

 

“Highly unlikely”, Emma was taken aback by the confidence in his voice “they would have executed her.” He said it calmly and without any conflict in his voice “I just don’t think this is what nature intended Emma. Even animals don’t adapt this lifestyle!”

 

 

 

“Firstly Henry, this is **not** a lifestyle” Emma hesitated, this wasn’t her conversation to have and she also worried whether she could explain such a sensitive subject to an impressionable mind effectively. “Secondly, stop being influenced by Snow White’s moral code so much! Just like the book didn’t give the ‘other’ side of the story, similarly your grandma’s views from a world as primitive as the fairytale land is not something you need to set on stone as your own, until you’ve introspected about this long enough. But _mostly_ , _stop with the hate_ kid, because while other species have been documented as being  in same-sex relationships, only human beings are the species that condemn those that do.”

 

 

 

“I don’t care about the others, don’t you see? I just don’t want my mom to be gay!” his words flew out like the molten lava bursting out from an active volcano. Emma felt trapped beneath it, the heat of his words slowly setting fire to her veins _“I just don’t want my mom to be gay!”_

 

 

Her trance was broken by the sound of her cell, ringing in her pocket. Without looking she swiped the screen and the sound ceased. She had barely looked up when Henry’s voice cut through the silence “Is it her?”

 

 

 

 

Emma’s first thought was ‘ _Who_?’, but his eyes shone with the answer to Emma’s unasked question.

 

 

 

“It wasn’t just eavesdropping over what Grams said you know. It got confirmed when I read the texts…”

 

 

 

Panic flashed through Emma’s eyes, the sudden realization of having to talk to Henry without Regina made her stomach bunch up in knots. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

 

 

 

Certain there was no way she could skirt around the issue anymore, she walked by to the couch and sat next to Henry, while still maintaining a distance between them “ Henry, you ought to know better than snooping through my phone. How would you feel if I went into your room and started exploring your stuff?”

 

 

 

Henry glanced at her sideways “I didn’t mean to. I was bored and thought I’d play a few games on your phone. It sort of just snowballed from there and I ended up reading the entire conversation you had with mom”

 

 

 

Emma could feel the hair at the end of her neck stand up

 

 

 

“I don’t want you to love her back Emma. _Please_ ” he tore up.

 

 

She instinctively grabbed hold of him and ran her hand through this hair “Henry, loving someone isn’t like turning a tap off or on. If only the matters of the heart were so simple”

 

 

 

 

“I don’t care how difficult it is!” he tore away from her and stood up “I know you love Neal. We’re meant to be a family. This is our destiny Emma. If the curse wasn’t cast, we would have all been together, happy, and life would be simple!”

 

 

 

Emma tried to reach out for his hand but he shuffled away backwards “You forget Henry if there was no curse, there would be no you, me and Neal _together_. I would’ve been some princess who married the King of some land and lived differently”

 

 

 

“No, Neal is your true love, no matter what you’d have still ended up with each other!” he argued petulantly.

 

 

 

“How can you be so certain Henry that Neal is my true love” Even saying the words felt so alien and strange to her tongue.

 

 

 

“Because I am the product of true love, just as you are!” Henry smirked and Emma could see the same righteousness of Snow imprinted upon his face. “Why else do you think I could be so powerful; even Peter Pan wanted to harness it, remember?”

 

 

 

She hoped Henry could not read the deflated expression on her face. If she could see herself, her face would have been drained off all color, she mused. It was Regina who had decided that they wouldn’t tell Henry the truth – keep the lie of Neverland intact.

 

 

 

_“No Miss Swan, you will not be revealing anything to Henry, is that clear?”_

_“Regina, but this doesn’t make sense. We can’t continue to let him believe in this…”_

_“Stop…I told you Miss Swan, we aren’t going to let Henry know that he has no magic in him. That the real reason he was kidnapped, was to lure me into Neverland. Set a trap so that he could possess my body and channel destruction through it”_

_“God, I still remember how awful he tasted in my mouth and that is how I knew it wasn’t really you…”_

 

 

Her fingers were still ghosting over her lips, when Henry poked her “Emma?”

 

 

“Huh”

 

 

 

Her hands bunched in her lap, she could feel a lump rising up her throat but with the way he was peering at her, she knew she had no option but to get right to the point “Is that why you sent her the text?”

 

 

 

 

“Yes” his eyes burned with defiance and conviction “I wanted her to realize that your happy ending is not with her! She will find her own Prince Charming, another Daniel, Emma. We both can help her find ‘the one’”

 

 

 

Emma’s voice was soft and filled with a sadness that she herself couldn’t seem to comprehend “I thought her happiness meant the most and not who gave her that happiness”

 

 

 

 

It was said so quietly that for a minute she wondered if he had even heard it.

 

 

 

“Do you think Gramps would be happy with that ending Emma? How humiliated do you think Grams would be if you chose to be with her step-mother?”

 

 

 

“Henry, don’t….” Emma warned him but he continued blabbering as if he was his only audience “What about Neal, how can you betray my father, who has never stopped loving you!? And tell me, what about me? Aren’t you supposed to consider your kid’s happiness above everything else? I cannot stand to be teased by everyone at school – as if being called the son of the Evil Queen wasn’t bad enough, I cannot live with being called a product of magical dykes!”

 

 

 

“Henry! Enough!” Emma stood up thrusting her hands in front of her. “I think this conversation is over. Go to your room!!!”

 

 

She was fuming with rage and hurt bubbled within her heart threatening to boil and spill over into her veins. Her own son, the one person who should have been the one standing by his mothers, has ended up being the one who wanted to tear them apart. She couldn’t make sense of any of it.

 

 

 

“No I won’t! Neither will I change my mind on this” he stomped his foot and Emma had to control herself from flinging the vase - an arm’s length away from her – at him.

 

 

 

 

Henry was still standing right in front of her, like a raging bull who refuses to back away from his matador. Except that this matador wasn’t willing to engage him. All she wanted was to run out from there, to Regina, the one woman who would share her misery in equal proportion.

 

 

 

 

It hit her then that ironically Regina also is perhaps the one woman who she couldn’t share her misery with. At least not when the misery directed towards them was by none other than **their** son. Regina would be heartbroken and saddened. And a heartbroken Regina **always** acted out _impulsively_. She would most likely nip this in the bud, be the ever willing sacrificial lamb for her son.

 

 

 

No, Emma could not let that happen.

 

 

She had anticipated that it would be a tough road to coax Henry on their side, but with the sound of the ticking clock she realized that Henry was a ticking time bomb, who could blow up this relationship at any moment he chose and there wasn’t a god damn thing either of his mothers could do about it.

 

 

 

They were at his mercy.   
Or were they begging for his mercy?

 

 

 

She cradled her head in between her palms. There was only one befitting way to put an end to the vestiges of anger that had the potential to spark and burn her heart down completely. To walk out, right now.

 

 

 

So that is what the blonde ended up doing. She walked out of the apartment, leaving Henry right in the middle, gaping and open-mouthed. Emma found herself wandering around aimlessly for a while. Then she ran, as fast as her boots would let her and as furiously as her mind was pulling her in the direction of a certain mansion numbered 108.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

For the very first time Regina was beginning to realize that she didn’t truly like being all by herself in the mansion at all.

 

 

 

Jones had just left, after nagging her endlessly, about how she needed to ‘stay’ away from Emma until Emma stayed ‘away’ from Neal, who would never stay ‘away’ from Emma, because Snow would never let him stay ‘away’ from Emma, even though Rumpel would like that Emma stayed ‘away’ from Neal, but he could never tell Neal to ‘stay’ away from Emma and how nobody in this entire convoluted staying away logic would ever stop to wonder who Regina wanted to ‘stay’ with, except him, which is why he wanted her to stay ‘away’ from Emma so that she could stay ‘with’ sanity, when Emma no longer chose to ‘stay’ with her.

 

 

 

Rob had come by for dinner and things were pleasant, if not relaxing with him. After all, anybody would seem companionable in comparison with the two hours she had spent with Hook prior.

 

 

 

While Rob had seemed a bit friendlier than she would have expected, he didn’t outright flirt with her or even hint that he wanted to repeat any of this again. Which while was such a relief for Regina, a very silly part of her was also disappointed that he was one of the very few people who didn’t enjoy her lasagna as much as she would have expected. In fact he hadn’t even really eaten any of it, choosing to polish off the garlic bread and salad accompanying it instead.

 

 

  
Well if he liked it, he surely didn’t make a point to let it be known. Just like Greg-Owen he found it all right. The thought made her eyebrows rise, could there really be any connection between this stranger out of town and the other? Was this yet another way for the universe to put a wrench in her work-in-progress towards a happy ending?

 

 

 

Regina had served apple pie for dessert. Rob somehow had managed to eat only a couple of mouthfuls and then left it untouched, rushing out citing some urgent work he recollected only then. She would be lying if that hadn’t deeply unsettled her. People usually liked her cooking. The apple pie used to be Graham’s favorite and Henry couldn’t stop until he had at least 3 servings, but here was a man, who didn’t find any of her recipes even edible, leave alone wow worthy.

 

 

 

She thought of her mother and how whatever Regina did was never ever good enough in her books. Even when it came to her culinary skills, for when Cora had come to Storybrooke and Regina had prepared an Indian meal of Butter chicken, Naan bread, Eggplants cooked in yoghurt and poppadum for her mother, slaving for hours on end over the stove, all she got in return was a plate left untouched barring a few mouthfuls and an offhanded remark about how the Indians used too many spices and thrust forward too many flavors for a sensory overload.

 

 

 

Regina walked over to her study, reaching out for the apple cider, as she poured the amber liquid into the crystal. Twirling the glass in her hand, she had almost brought it to her lips when the doorbell rang.

 

 

 

Internally she hoped Hook wasn’t back for his post dinner Ruby gushing. She never really took for him to be of the love struck kinds. Besides after the damp reception Rob had given to her meal, the only thing she felt like doing was curling under a blanket and eating some dark chocolate.

 

 

 

Setting the glass down on a coaster, Regina walked up to the door and opened it, to find a flower delivery for her. It was a huge bouquet of lilacs, arranged in a crystal vase, and a note attached to it _“Sorry about not eating the wonderful lasagna you prepared Regina and instead nibbling mostly on the garlic bread. The thing is, I am allergic to the red pepper flakes you added and I completely forgot to mention that. I didn’t want you to feel bad, so I refrained from bringing it up.”_

 

 

 

Regina’s brought her fingers to the bridge of her nose. All this uncertainty over an untouched meal because of some pepper addition. Sighing, she turned to walk away towards her abandoned drink, when the doorbell rang again.

 

 

Her eyebrows furrowed, as she walked back and placed the vase next to the corner of her door, and grabbed hold of the knob, still contemplating who it could be. Opening the door, she was surprised to find a delivery of a basketful of apples, but this time the basket was tied up in a nice bright red ribbon. The delivery guy scooted off from there faster than Regina could even open her mouth. Another note _“The apple pie was delicious. I felt like my throat was constricting (refer note 1) and so cowardly ran away from completing the delight. Sorry again. Maybe you can bake me another pie?”_

 

 

Regina closed the door and tapped her fingers on her chest, her other hand still clutching to the basket. She was kind of taken aback by the dramatics and pretty annoyed, that a stranger was showing so much interest in her. Before she could set the basket on the table, the doorbell rang again.

 

 

 

Clearly annoyed, she stomped on the floor with more force than usual and opened the door to find a single yellow rose lying on her doorstep but there wasn’t anyone around. Slamming the door with gusto she walked into her study and placed the basket, tossing the rose inside it, on the table. Taking the glass of drink she had previously abandoned, she walked back towards her living room, anticipating the doorbell to ring again and for Rob to be standing on the other side wearing his brightest smile.

 

 

 

The sound of the bell startled her and she almost spilled the drink on herself. Taking a big gulp, she marched towards the door, ready to reciprocate his flashy smile with an icy glare.

 

 

 

“Hi, Can I come in?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

A good 15 minutes have passed since Regina had answered the door, all ready to lash out on Rob, but when she opened the door, she didn’t expect to find Baelfire standing on her porch, looking as still and as pale as one of the mannequins lined up towards her pathway.

 

 

He still stood there, clearly a fish out of water, taking in the scene around him.

 

 

“If you need the number of my decorator, I’d pass it along, but I don’t know if you could afford her” she smirked

 

 

“Oh..oh..no…oh…I was here to talkboutEm” he mumbled hastily.

 

 

 

Regina’s eyes widened with surprise. Did he say he wanted to talk about Emma? Had Emma already had her talk with Neal? _Oh thank heavens; Hook would now have to find another hobby other than nagging the hell out of her_.

 

 

 

“Emma?” her eyebrows shot up and she suddenly felt anxiety whirlpooling in the pit of her stomach.

 

 

 

He cleared his throat before he spoke “I guess you must know by now that she didn’t accept my proposal”

 

 

 

There was a pause and Regina’s eyes were egging him to continue “I was wondering if you knew the reason why?”

 

 

 

 _So no new hobby for Hook then_ , Regina sighed.

 

 

“I think this is something you must discuss with Miss Swan” Regina said, walking away from him to the other end of the room. She was scared he would be able to hear how wildly her heart was beating then.

 

 

 

“Regina…” he paused and then his eyebrows crinkled together “I can call you that right?”

 

 

 

“Your Majesty wouldn’t be bad either” her smile was fake but it lacked the insincerity she would have ideally preferred.

 

 

 

He still looked confused, so when Regina rolled her eyes, his eyes went all big and round with the realization “Oh…ok…you were being sarcastic” he mumbled, while his discomfort was clearly cloaked by his loud laugh.

 

 

 

“I did try to talk to her Regina. But she just seems disinterested in having any meaningful dialogue about the problems between us. She was forever tired or moody, when she wasn’t searching for you these past few weeks.”

 

 

 

Regina swallowed hard “Well I still think you must have this conversation with Emma.”

 

 

 

“I have tried Regina” Neal said through clenched teeth

 

 

 

“Then try harder Baelfire, try until your breath runs out” she couldn’t suppress a smile when she thought about how he seemed to be out of breath all the time.

 

 

 

“What’s so funny Regina?” his eyes were narrowed at her and his body language screamed discomfort.

 

 

 

Regina’s skin was flushed with the embarrassment of being caught. “I told you Baelfire, talk to Emma. And in the meantime you can find someone like Dr Hopper who is qualified enough to help you with finding out what the problem between you and her is” she finished by extending her hand towards the door, signaling for him to leave.

 

 

 

She was stopped dead in her tracks when he responded with “What if I know who the problem is?”

 

 

 

_OK so seems like unintentionally Hook is going to have to find another hobby._

 

 

 

“Who my dear?” Regina asked flatly.

 

 

 

“Henry”

 

 

 

“H.E.N.R.Y!” Regina exclaimed not bothering to conceal the surprise and threat in her voice. “ Baelfire, don’t you dare drag my son into whatever the hell is going on between Emma and you, understand?”

 

 

 

“He is MY son too, Regina” his shoulders were now no longer stooping and there was a fire in his eyes, a fire Regina recognized far too easily “I am not dragging him into anything. The only reason Emma had reservations about us being a family was because Henry’s future with us is not guaranteed”

 

 

 

“What?” Regina hissed “I fail to see yet again see your point Baelfire!”

 

 

 

“Henry,” his voice was now shaky “I think legally you hold all rights over him. Neither Emma nor I can claim him as our own, at least in this world. So, Emma fears that if we sealed our bond, your insecurity could lead to us losing Henry. After all, you have to admit a part of you will feel threatened if his real family all come together and you’d be the odd man out!” he mumbled all through it, with his voice shakier than when he started.

 

 

 

Regina is too stumped to speak. She stands there blinking, thinking, _feeling_.

 **F** eeling. **FE** eling. **FEE** ling. **FEEL** ing. **FEELI** ng. **FEELIN** g. **FEELING**.

 

 

 

Like rainfall, the feelings are coming to her, slowly, softly, gradually, incessantly, strongly, rapidly and then all at once!

 

 

 

 

She feels a million emotions swirl within her – but she realizes why she feels them was because Baelfire had spoken something which held in it some traces of truth. Surely, Regina would be miserable if Emma ended up with Neal and Henry playing happy family. She often had wondered whether their wedded bliss would relegate her to the role of a glorified auntie, who would get to play with Henry on the weekends, but who could never decide what he did on the weekdays.

 

 

 

 

Regina had never expressed this insecurity to anyone, so to hear Neal throw the same words back at her did surprise her. She hadn’t ever voiced this fear even to Emma. She wondered should she have. Could it be possible that subconsciously Emma was apprehensive to commit to Neal because she thought it meant losing Henry to Regina’s possible impulsive outburst?

 

 

 

The sound of Neal clearing his throat disrupted her stream of thoughts.

 

 

 

“Even so, I don’t know how on earth I could help you sort this out Bealfire? Once again, go talk to Emma?” Regina couldn’t believe she is still patiently responding to him.

 

 

 

 

“You can help Regina” he answered with a fair amount of conviction to his tone now. “If you…if you…” he then looked at her and all of his confidence washed away when he saw her peering at him, eyes dark and unwelcoming.

 

 

But he still pushed forward “IfyoucanletushavethelegalcustodyofHenry” he utters in one long stretch “we’d all be ‘happy’”.

 

 

 

SLAP. It was the sound she heard in her head, and found herself fantasizing about how her hand would feel against his cheek. Actually there was nothing more she wanted to do than fireball him to hell, but she knew that wasn’t a viable option.

  


So instead she closed her eyes shut, drew in a long breath and when she released it later, slowly, she crept up to where Neal was standing, like a wild animal approaching its prey, eyes glistening with madness and hunger.

  
  


Neal’s face didn’t hide his fear and the way he gulped as she gave out a predatory grin didn’t escape her eyes. A thin sheet of sweat had developed on his forehead and as he brought up his hand to wipe it away, Regina halted the movement by grabbing hold of it.

  


“The next time you foolishly walk into my home and ask me to abandon my son - like you did Emma, think hard and clear about who I am” her eyes were so dark that as she saw her own reflection in his light eyes, pupils dilated with fear, she imagined she must look nothing short than the Evil Queen at that moment “And just in case you never forget, this will always serve as a reminder…” a disturbing smile trailed her words.

  


Before his terrified eyes could blink, in a flash she twisted the index finger of the hand that she still held in her steely grasp. Neal’s yelling drowned out the tiniest popping sound of his finger breaking.

  


“WHAT THE FUCK REGINA, YOU ARE CRAZY” Neal howled, tears streaming down his cheeks.

  


  
Regina burst into a loud cackle “Yes, and you came into the den of the crazy, hoping to get what a bubblegum in return? Who does that make crazy, you or me?” her faced lit up in amusement and held no remorse.

  


“Fuck me” Neal cursed in desperation

  
  


“I’d rather enroll myself in a convent to be a nun dear” she deadpanned.

  


Neal clutched on to his hand, while still muttering under his breath.

  


“Oh c’mon don’t be such a wuss. It is only a broken finger. Nothing a few weeks of bandaging won’t take care of! Except for, the bone might remain slightly crooked and will perhaps jut out - you know I’m quite a pro, so I know how to get the desired effect” she winked at him.

  


“But you see that was the point. The next time you ring my doorbell, you will look at that raised crooked finger and remember not to be stupid enough and ask me crooked questions or make crooked demands. I adopted my son because I might have wanted to fill a void, but I won’t leave a void in him just because I want happiness to adopt the world around him.” She turned away and thrust her right hand out, slowly twirling her fingers while pointing towards the door. It promptly flew open “GET OUT” she hissed.

  
  
  
Neal had almost reached the door, clutching his arm in pain, when he heard her voice follow him “Oh, close the door on your way out”.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

There is a pounding on the door; dull but still forceful like someone was using their left hand.  Prior, she had ignored the successive doorbells; it came within moments of her throwing Neal out.

 

 

“Great” Regina muttered to herself “today is practice-my-Karate night”. She sighed and got up from the chair in her study, taking her own sweet time to open it

 

 

 

“Re-gi-na” Emma let her name roll off her tongue, impatience clearly etched all over her face “I’ve been banging on this door forever”

 

 

 

Even though her heart fluttered with excitement at the sight of the now sulking blonde, Regina didn’t let it show easily. She steadied her breath – tried to- and leaned against the frame of the door. “I am sorry _Miss Swan_ ; I was too busy with….”

 

 

 

“Rob” Emma cut in almost immediately “Wait, is he still in there?!” the words spat out of her mouth, as if she had chewed up some bitter leaf. Regina was amused to see Emma on her toes now, peeping through the side of Regina trying to get a glimpse inside.

 

 

 

“Don’t be silly. It is 8’o clock!” Regina feigned annoyance and disinterest.

 

 

 

“Good” Emma said, stepping close to Regina, so that she was just a hair’s breadth away from her lips “because I’d hate to have to arrest him and waste the time meant to be with you by dragging his sorry ass to jail.”

 

 

 

Regina’s eye roll made Emma giggle “Actually, there is also another reason”, she licked her lips and gazed into the brunette’s warm brown eyes.

 

  _Kiss her._ The voice in her head instructed Emma. 

 

 

 _Kiss me._ The voice in Regina’s head pleaded.

 

 

Emma smiled deeply and then suddenly a bunch of red roses was thrust into Regina’s face. Even though the flowers shielded most of Regina’s face, Emma could still peek at the twinkling brown eyes between the stems, and knew that the Mayor was smiling generously because the smile had traveled right to those soulful brown eyes.

 

 

 

“I guess you’re pleased” Emma said cockily, raising an eyebrow.

 

 

 

Regina straightened up and wrapped her fingers around Emma’s fingers as they held on to the stems of the flowers. She smiled noting how unlike Rob’s bouquet, Emma had just kept it very basic – in fact one would wonder if she didn’t pluck these from someone’s garden, were it not for the scraped out thorns that didn’t prick their tightly clenched together fingers.

 

 

Regina found herself charmed by the simplicity of the present and the grandness of the gesture, considering how difficult it was for the Sheriff to express what she truly felt.

 

 

 

She took away the flowers from Emma’s hands and leaned forward to press a soft kiss on Emma’s cheek “Thank you dear. But I doubt I’d be as pleased as the florist today”

 

 

 

Emma’s eyebrows frowned in confusion and Regina simply pulled her by her arm into the mansion.

 

 

Closing the door behind them, Regina continued to walk inside her fingers still entwined in Emma’s. As they reached the couch, Regina motioned for Emma to sit, while she walked towards the kitchen herself. Emma however held Regina back by tugging at her hand “I need to put these in the vase” Regina replied, looking at the roses and then at Emma.

 

 

 

Hesitantly Emma let her hand go but as soon as Regina had reached the kitchen and turned on the tap to collect some water in the vase, she heard the sound of footsteps encroach upon her. Turning back she was surprised to find that Emma had followed her inside and was midway to opening her fridge “I’m hungry” she confessed shyly.

 

 

“When aren’t you Miss Swan” Regina replied, moving to the counter to pick up the roses, as she set the vase right next to it.

 

 

 

“Wait all this food in here” Emma did a double take “I thought you invited Rob over for dinner?”

 

 

 

“Well” Regina sighed deeply, as she moved closer towards the blonde with the vase that held the red roses now grasped firmly by both her hands “he happened to be allergic to red pepper, which of course he didn’t tell me and that meant he couldn’t eat beyond a few bites. Left the apple pie too because he felt an allergic reaction was brewing”

 

 

 

Regina was quite startled by the loud laughter that rang in the kitchen. Emma was laughing so hysterically that she was now clutching her stomach and her skin had gone pink

 

 

 

“Rambo boy can’t hold down some peppers?” she spoke through her fit of laughter “and to think I spent so many hours fretting about how he’d be impressing you after having been mesmerized by your skills in the kitchen” she wiped away the tears that had pooled at the edge of her eyes.

 

 

 

“Oh, I think he could very well be mesmerized by the skills I possess out of the kitchen my dear” Regina winked as she walked away to place the vase on the dining table.

 

 

 

Emma tailed her, the frown on her face in tow.

 

 

 

“What is that supposed to mean? Did he make a move on you or something?”

 

 

 

“Not exactly” Regina said trying to move past Emma back into the kitchen. “Let me warm up the lasagna for you. Would you like some wine too?”

 

 

 

Emma grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled Regina closer to her body. Green eyes were staring at Regina with jealousy “No, first you need to expand on the ‘ _Not Exactly_ ’ part Madam Mayor”

 

 

 

Both of them knew that the close proximity wasn’t going to do either any logical favors. So when Regina felt intoxicated with scent of Emma’s trademark male perfume ploughing through her senses and when Emma couldn’t help but lean in to smell Regina’s hair, the gentle smell of her apple shampoo pervading every space within her chest, both shuffled backwards, simultaneously blushing when realizing why the other had done so.

 

 

 

“Emma” Regina drawled, walking away to heat up Emma’s dinner “well he sent me some flowers and a basket of apples along with an apology note”

 

 

 

“He did what?” Emma questioned, clearly irritated “How dare he send you flowers!? And seriously a basket of apples? Who the fuck even gives someone such a gift?”

 

 

 

“You forget my dear, I had got you a basket of honeycrisp apples too”

 

 

 

“That was different” Emma interrupted “Besides you hated me and it was more of a threatening note of sorts rather than a love expression” It seemed like Emma was trying to reassure herself.

 

 

 

“Except that I didn’t hate you Emma. I think I just wanted to believe that” Regina licked her lips and smiled “If I had to introspect now, I think I fell for you the minute I ran out that door. In retrospect, if I had to be honest, you had me at **Hi** I think” she ended winking suggestively at the blonde.

 

 

 

Emma smirked but then as if a thousand daggers had pierced through her chest, she yelled out “Oh God, my nightmare is for real. Rob actually _likes_ **you** **likes** _you then_!”

 

 

 

By now Regina had finished heating up the lasagna and was beginning to plate a large serving for the blonde. She looked up at the blonde whose eyes were straining to catch something by the door. She saw the blonde walk towards it, and moments later Emma returned, to place the Lilac vase right next to the one which held her own roses.

 

 

 

“Hmmm…” she said almost only to herself. Emma couldn’t help but compare the two vases. Rob’s gesture so much grander and his pick of flowers classier. Surely, Regina would have been much more impressed with this tidy offering than her haphazardly put together bunch. “So this is what you meant by the florist being a happy camper tonight” She backed a few steps away from the counter and dug her hands deep into her pockets.

 

 

 

Regina could see the insecurity explode in the bluish-green eyes, and as she turned to look deeply into them, she sensed Emma would try to veil her true feelings if Regina offered her any reassurance. So instead, she decided to play it how they normally would – by dancing around the issue.

 

 

 

“I think it was quite lovely of him to apologize so creatively” Regina stated, without taking her eyes off the blonde.

 

 

 

“Ugh, I think it is too tacky” the blonde said, scrunching up her face in disgust.

 

 

 

“Really?” Regina smiled, continuing to play her “I think he put a lot of effort in the apology offerings. Besides I really do LIKE lilacs”

 

 

 

Emma was so caught up in her irritation that she failed to catch the playful smirk of the brunette, who by now had come and stood right beside the vases.

 

 

 

“Oh well please accept my apology then for not knowing how much you L.I.K.E lilacs” she said in a tone far bitter than necessary.

 

 

 

Regina tried hard to suppress the laughter that was bubbling in her throat. God, how could this idiot not know that it wasn’t the flowers that mattered but who came bearing them that did. Even if Emma bought Regina a wild cactus shrub, Regina would treasure it more than a room filled with vases of Lilac from Rob, or anyone else.

 

 

 

“You see dear, according to Greek mythology, the god of the forests and fields, Pan, was captivated by the beauty of a nymph named Syringa. He chased her through the forest; frightened by Pan’s affections, Syringa escaped him by turning herself into an aromatic bush – the flower we now refer to as lilac. In the language of flowers, purple lilacs symbolize the first emotions of love, while white lilacs represent youthful innocence…”

 

 

 

“Ok, enough with the whole lilac history” Emma screamed, charging towards Regina and almost trapping her against the counter.

 

 

 

“Why, a little jealous are we dear?” Regina smirked, an eyebrow raised.

 

 

 

“Huh…phu-leaaseeeee I told you I have nothing to be jealous about. Rambo boy can’t stand a chance next to me _(god can he?)._ Besides he is such an idiot _(make that a stupid idiot)_ for not even eating the meal _(make that an allergic stupid idiot_ ) you took so many hours to prepare (why did _regina have to cook for him?!_ ) and then the idiot _(allergic stupid  idiot)_ apologizes by sending you a stupid crystal vase _(ridiculously rich allergic stupid idiot)_ filled with stupid looking - if you ask me kinda ugly- flowers ( _which she likes_ ) along with a stupid basket _(nicely arranged ribbon though)_ of some stupid tasting apples _(apples she loves)_ instead of just doing it in person _(thank god he didn’t)_ he…he….fuck Regina who am I kidding, this is so goo…”

 

 

 

_(She is **KISSING** me)_

Regina’s lips were soft and warm and a sense of belonging suddenly flooded Emma. It made her stomach flip, and then when Regina sucked lightly on Emma’s lower lip, it shot an explosion of desire right through Emma’s core.

 

 

 

Emma was kissing her back now, slowly and softly. There is the urge within her to deepen the kiss, but she felt a little uncertain and frankly a bit too overwhelmed (oh my god she was **KISSING** Regina back) with trying to get it right.

 

 

 

But suddenly, Regina was pulling away, and Emma didn’t want her to, so she tried to lean in further and wrap one hand around the nape of Regina’s neck, while the other she brought around the brunette’s waist, trying to steady them.

 

 

 

Regina though wasn’t in the mood to concede and so she tilted her head once again, making Emma grunt with disappointment as her lips miss their intended target, ‘What was that for?” she questioned, her eyes almost begging Regina to continue.

 

 

 

“I was trying to make a point Miss Swan.” Regina said, moving strands of blonde hair across Emma’s face and tucking them behind her ear.

 

 

 

“Which is what?” Emma asked letting out a small sigh

 

 

“That while I said I may _like_ lilacs, I wanted to show you that I **LOVE** ( ~~you~~ ) roses…” her voice was quiet and held within it unquestionable desire.

 

 

 

It made Emma blush furiously and brought with it an urgent need to kiss Regina once again, but Regina was able to predict Emma’s next move and so she smoothly ducked and slipped out of Emma’s hold, almost running away, to where the piece of lasagna she had set upon a plate for Emma – now no longer warm – rested.

 

 

 

“Eat, I think you are far too hungry for your own good” Regina teased.

 

 

 

“Jeez, this is not how I want our first kiss to end Regina” Emma was complaining as she made her way towards Regina, flicking some lilacs with her middle finger and then coming to rest by the counter using her elbow for support.

 

 

 

 

“Technically _Miss Swan_ , this is **not** OUR first kiss”

 

 

Emma’s eyes widen as much as the plate in front of her, and she is gaping now at Regina “It isn’t? When did we? How did we? Why did we? What the…”

 

 

 

“You were being your usual idiotic self, while we were on the shores of Neverland”

 

 

Emma was still standing there looking more perplexed than ever so Regina continued with a roll of her eyes “We had to perform a magic spell, actually, the two idiots would have to do it, considering…” her voice trailed off

 

 

 

“There needed to be a kiss” Emma finished the statement.

 

 

 

Regina nodded her head and smiled “Do you need for me to reheat this again?” she asked, pointing towards the plate.

 

 

 

Emma shook her head as she strutted around the kitchen towards the drawer that held the cutlery, picking what she needed and sat by the stool, digging into the plate she had ended up dragging in front of her. That Regina scrunched up her face as Emma dragged her expensive chinaware is completely missed on Emma but Regina figured it is much better than having to watch the blonde break any of it.

 

 

 

For someone so restless, remarkably Emma was very quiet as she polished off her meal after two more helpings and then burped loudly in contentment, smiling to let Regina know that her stomach had already expressed its compliments which her mouth had yet not.

 

 

 

The brunette found that previously, little things like these that annoyed her about the blonde, now seemed endearing and lovable. There was an uncomplicated sincerity about the Sheriff and Regina was more than grateful that it intermingled so well with her own complicated troubled universe.

 

 

“I have saved some space for dessert too, you know” Emma winked, signaling to Regina that she wanted some of the Mayor’s famous apple delicacy. Henry says that this is how magic must taste like. But Emma knew now that he was wrong – magic had rested on her lips and it tasted a lot like Regina Mills.

 

 

 

She was now in the living room by herself, Regina had asked her to put on some music and wait for her dessert there. It surprised Emma because Regina usually didn’t allow anyone to eat on her couch; _she really did love Emma then_. The blonde was not happy with the records she found in Regina’s collection – they are too classical for her liking and wondered if there was something more contemporary in Regina’s study, the rack across the fireplace held some of her music collection too, Emma had noted. So she tiptoed towards the study and turned the door knob to only be taken aback by how much of a mess the room was in.

 

 

There were paper lying across the floor, books scattered on Regina’s mahogany desk, some old volumes of law books too were lying on the floor, one opened and the other being used as a paperweight.

 

 

Emma knew how particular Regina was about orderliness so she could not stop her curiosity from carrying her over to where the books were set. She peeked down and saw in that familiar, impressive, distinct cursive handwriting, notes by Regina – a list of sorts, but before her eyes could rake in more than a few words - _bleed imprison choke love –_ Regina cleared her throat.

 

 

Emma jumped, clearly startled by the presence of the brunette, who is now leaning against the doorframe, plate in one hand and a napkin in the other.

 

“Uh..I…was only trying to find some music…I didn’t mean to snoop” she confessed quietly, her eyes refusing to meet Regina’s.

 

 

 

Regina motioned for her to come ahead and Emma quickly responded, jumping over a stack of books by the corner and that is when her eyes landed on the fruit basket and the solitary yellow rose lying inside it by the desk near the door. She picked the rose and walked out of the study, as Regina moves behind her closing the door on their way out.

 

 

 

They’ve now settled on the couch and Emma had finished off the pie, even faster than she had anticipated, licking her lips to savor every little last bite or crumb she could. “That was so freaking delicious Regina, thank you” she said, swiping a thumb across her lips to remove any remnants off her face.

 

 

 

Regina smiled but there is some awkwardness in the way she takes the plate from Emma’s hand and is about to get up and move, so Emma grabbed hold of the Mayor’s wrist and tugged on it gently; Regina did as asked and she sat back down, placing the plate on her lap.

 

 

 

“What’s wrong” Emma’s voice was soft and held no question behind it, besides the intended one.

 

 

 

“Did you see the notes?” Regina probed, looking a little bit more fragile than usual.

 

 

 

“Not really. I happened to catch a few words, but I didn’t really see much of it. What is all that about Regina?” Emma’s thumb motioned towards the study, the rest of her fingers dancing together.

 

 

 

 

“It is meant for you. But please don’t ask me now. Once it is done, I promise I shall let you know.” Regina pleaded.

 

 

 

Emma nodded and then leaned in to place a lingering kiss on Regina’s cheek. She then softly whispered into the brunette’s ear “In the meantime, I could tell you of something that you could do, to keep me distracted and occupied”

 

 

  
Regina could feel the warm breath from Emma’s laughter tickle her neck. She playfully pushed the blonde away and got up to keep the plate in the sink.

 

 

 

“Regina” Emma called out for her within seconds of Regina entering the kitchen “I think I’m going to make a trip to Boston”

 

 

 

Regina was rushing back to Emma, wondering if she heard right or if Emma was crazy.

 

 

_Turned out it was both_

 

 

 

“Are you completely out of your mind Emma? You are going to Boston to dig up on the background of Rob?” Regina’s eyes seemed darker than usual and were swimming with anger.

 

 

 

 

“I used to be a bounty hunter Regina. I know what I am doing. I just need some more leads on him. I still have quite a few contacts in the city, plus my old boss is more than willing to…”

 

 

 

“Stop Emma! I told you” Regina was now huffing with anger, “stop this ridiculous obsession with Rob. Every stranger is not Greg!”

 

 

 

“I’ll stop being obsessed over him once he stops obsessing over you!”

 

 

 

“Oh God, look at how silly you sound. Some flowers and a few kind words don’t translate into obsession. Is it so hard for you to believe that someone _‘nice’_ can be **nice** to me?” Regina asked with obvious disbelief in her voice.

 

 

 

 

“This isn’t about **YOU** Regina. This is about **HIM**! I need to make sure he is no threat to either you, Henry or this town” Emma rubbed the back of her neck and now her voice is softer “After what happened with Greg and Tamara, Regina why can’t you see that I just cannot afford to take any chances.”

 

 

 

“Once again Emma, Rob is none of your business” Regina tried to argue but the blonde just shook her head and motioned for Regina to stop “He became my business the day he set his eyes on you” Emma blurted, her tone laced with possessiveness.

 

 

 

This all would be rather flattering to Regina if it weren’t also for how absurd Emma’s proposed actions were. Going all the way to Boston just to check up on a random guy, who like Emma had mentioned, came out with a clean chit during her preliminary investigations. It was as if Emma purposefully wanted to find something incriminating against Rob. There were far more important things to sort out in their lives. Rob was **not** one of them.

 

 

 

“I’m fed up with this really. I give up! Fine, do as you please” Regina raised her hands in surrender.

 

 

 

“Wait! Don’t talk me to me like I’m a little kid throwing a tantrum in a toy store Regina!” Emma exclaimed, her anger now getting the better of her.

 

 

 

“Why are you getting angry?”

 

 

 

“Why should I not? You’re acting as if I am making a mountain of a molehill”

 

 

 

“ _Em-maaa_ …”

 

 

 

“No, don’t _Em-maaa_ me! I really cannot understand why you are defending him with every waking breath of yours?” Emma raised an eyebrow, goading Regina to start a fight.

 

 

 

“Excuse me?” Regina spoke, eyes narrowed and irritation clearly etched across her face “It is not my problem if maturity and sensibility aren’t your best friends”

 

 

 

“You’re the one to speak about friends?” Emma scoffed and a sarcastic laugh followed it.

 

 

 

Regina shut her eyes. This was going to be a futile exchange of words. The blonde seemed rather testy today. Was it something that happened at work? Did Snow White get to know about them?

 

 

 

 

 _“Sorry_ ” the blonde’s mellow voice rung in her ears. Regina looked up to see a guilt faced Emma peek at her through her eyelashes, chin resting on her chest. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that”

 

 

 

  
Regina came closer to Emma and took both her hand in hers “Emma” she said her voice barely a whisper “I don’t want to fight with you, _please_ ”

 

 

 

“I don’t either Regina” Emma promptly replied looking up at Regina. “I just, it’s just that I need you to trust my instincts on this. What is the worse that can happen; I’ll go to Boston and find out that you were right all along and Rob is just a random stranger, never to be worried about, ever again.”

 

 

 

Regina sighed as she brought her forehead to rest against Emma’s and then gave her hand a tight squeeze, as if signaling her consent.

 

 

 

Emma smiled and it created a flutter in Regina’s heart.

 

 

 

“I’m wondering” Regina was now staring into deep blue eyes “when it is finally proved that I am right, _as always_ , what will be my reward?”

 

 

 

  
Emma’s second favorite thing after a sassy Regina, is a teasing Regina and hence she found herself smiling so wide that her face began to hurt “Whatever you propose Your Majesty. But remember, if it turns out I am right, as _miracles do happen_ , Madam Mayor, then be rest assured you cannot weasel your way out of a kiss as easily as you did today.” Emma was waggling her eyebrows, with a certain kind of cockiness in her body language.

 

 

“We don’t have to wait for that until you’re proved right, dear” Regina stood her ground, smiling like a Cheshire cat. 

  
  
Regina used her index finger to close Emma’s mouth which hung open in surprise. She finally gathered some composure when Regina’s laughter filled her belly with a warmth which only Henry’s chuckle used to bring about otherwise.

 

 

 

“So, how about starting now?” she lunged forward and their lips almost brushed together before Emma’s phone buzzed and Regina’s attention got diverted towards Emma’s red leather jacket.

 

 

 

“Ummm let it ring” Emma protested, but Regina once again ducked and smiled wickedly. “Sheriff, it could be a real emergency - somebody’s cat might have climbed a tree”

 

 

 

Emma rolled her eyes, and reached out for the phone in her pocket. Retrieving it, she looks at the name flashing on the screen and then at Regina.

 

 

“Hello. Hi Red. No, I’m not…Yes, I am at Regina’s. She was? He is? Hmmm…Ok. I’ll call them back.”

 

 

 

Regina’s brown eyes were still fixed on Emma. “Mary Mar…Mom has been trying to contact me. Something urgent, wants me to call her back”

 

 

“If you need some privacy” Regina offered “I still have to do the dishes”

 

 

 

“No. She can wait.”

 

 

 

“Did she tell you what it was about?” Regina’s mind is tracing back to her conversation with Neal. Did he go crying to Snow and complain about her? Not that it bothered her, but she was just already weary at the thought of handling the unnecessary theatrics Snow would surely indulge in.

 

 

 

“Actually, Henry had called her up. He was worried since I didn’t return his calls”

 

 

Regina looked at Emma in confusion “And why exactly are you avoiding his calls Emma?”

 

 

 

Emma turned to look away from Regina. She knew Regina was going to scold her for running out on their son. But how could she tell her the reason for why she had done it? Regina’s heart would break if she knew what Henry really thought about them being together. But honestly, she feared Regina would end all of this, at this very instant even if she got the slightest inkling, that Henry was unhappy and miserable, and that Regina was the direct cause of it.

 

 

 

She was internally debating about whether she must divulge the conversation she had with Henry and risk the fracture of her blossoming relationship with Regina or that she should keep it to herself, hoping that Henry would eventually accept them and change his vision of a happy ending.

 

 

 

Regina’s hand on her forearm jolted her back into the present “Emma?” Regina’s voice was full of concern.

 

 

“It is nothing serious Regina. He was just being his bratty teen self, but I think I didn’t handle it well either”

 

 

Regina came closer to Emma; she placed her hands on Emma’s shoulders and massaged them lightly. Instinctively Emma moved backwards and fell closer into Regina; her back was now pressed against Regina’s chest.

 

 

Regina placed tender kisses on Emma’s shoulder and finally rested her chin on it “It will be OK. Teenagers can be really difficult Emma. We need to be more patient. You surely remember how it was when you were a teenager”

 

 

 

“Yeah, if he turns out to be anything like me, I think we are going to be in heaps of trouble Regina. But I don’t see you as being a difficult teen. I’m sure Cora must have never allowed room for that”

 

 

 

Sensing Regina’s body tense up, Emma spun around and immediately apologized “Sorry Regina, I am so stupid. I didn’t mean to bring up your past…”

 

 

“It is OK Emma. I should be sorry for reacting like that. It is just that I still have yet to acknowledge all the horrors my mother orchestrated in my life and unleashed upon others. I am dealing with it during my sessions with Dr Hopper, but still years of denial and worthlessness, take time to…”

 

 

“Sssshhhh” Emma placed a finger on Regina’s lips “you’re far braver and stronger than you give yourself credit for”. She placed a soft peck on the brunette’s lips and enveloped her in a tight hug.

 

 

 

They stood there, their embrace transporting them into an entirely different universe, until Regina’s clock chimed, signaling it was time for Emma to go home

 

 

She was about to open her mouth, when Emma mumbled into her shoulder “Yeah yeah, I must leave now. Not without a goodnight kiss though”

 

 

 

Emma moved back and wickedly stared at Regina’s lips.

 

 

 

“I think that is enough kisses for one day _Miss Swan_ ” Looking at the pouting Sheriff in front of her, Regina rolled her eyes and pushed herself away from the blonde “Wait, before you go, there is something I need to give you. I’ll be right back”

 

 

  
She rushed into the kitchen to pack the chocolate cake she had baked for Emma. Henry would really be delighted too. Both mother and son could break ice over her their mutual love of this sugary delight. In a convoluted way Regina would be present with them too in the form of her baked goody; for once it would make her feel like she was with her family and sharing moments that she only continued to dare dream about.

 

 

 

In the midst of finding a container the doorbell rang and though Regina is worried that Hook and Emma might start a World War III right in the middle of her living room, it didn’t make her stop Emma from answering the door.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Regina can hear loud voices coming from the porch and she wondered if she just heard Snow’s voice. But it was way too late and she could only think of Jones, who always dropped by at this time to check in on her.

 

 

 

As she approached her living room, her stomach plummeted, as her eyes surveyed the people standing in front of the door and Emma right in the middle of them, her eyes a fiery shade of Persian green.

 

 

 

“There she is” Neal screamed out.

 

 

“Why Mr Cassidy, this does happen to be my home you know” Regina uttered her face devoid of any emotion.

 

 

 

Emma was staring her down and Snow was looking at her with such horror in her eyes, you’d wonder if she just caught Regina pulling out someone’s heart from their chest.

 

 

“I didn’t know I was having a Halloween party here. You’re all so aptly dressed for the occasion, had you told me I’d have dusted out my evil queen outfit too ” Regina figured it is better to find some humor in the situation.

 

 

 

“Shut up Regina”

 

 

 

It was, unexpectedly, Emma who spoke first.

 

 

 

Regina was too startled to say anything, and so when Snow spoke up, “I can’t believe you had the audacity to even do this, especially when we are all giving you a chance to prove that we are wrong. But alas!”, Regina let her do so uninterrupted.

 

 

 

“What?” was all that came out of Regina’s mouth later, and her eyes once again darted towards Emma, whose body language was rather stiff and defensive.

 

 

 

“This” Neal squeaked, waving his broken finger that was heavily bandaged now, frantically in the air.

 

 

 

Regina knew she shouldn’t but she couldn’t help break into a fit of giggling. When she finally stopped she can see the shock on Neal’s face, the disgust on Snow’s and the anger on Emma’s. Her amusement increased manifold and she thought, any more giggling and Emma would throw something at her.

 

 

 

“Oh God, I’m sorry” she finally said, after composing herself enough so that her words could come out with clarity “it is just that once I had turned a solider – who betrayed me – into a rat in the middle of his pathetic pleas and Mr Cassidy’s squeaking and fine portrayal just reminded me of that rat…I mean…”

 

 

 

“Enough! Regina, I said SHUT UP!” Emma cut in; her voice thundered with such rage that its echo must have resonated through the entire mansion.

 

 

“ **Miss Swan** , I will not tolerate you speaking to me like that” Regina said, clutching the container tightly in her hand, trying to muster up some courage, which somehow she found was slipping away from her grasp.

 

 

 

“Well then stop acting like a bitch!” Emma spat.

 

 

 

 _Bitch?_ It was really a rather tame word in comparison to whatever Regina had been called before, but any word coming out of Emma’s mouth, Regina realized, had the power to either flourish her soul or ravage her heart. This time it was the latter and Regina felt the numbness already take root within her.

 

 

 

 

“You guys leave. I want to have a word with her” Emma said turning to both her mother and Neal. They both wanted to protest, but looking at the fire flickering in Emma’s eyes and how tight her jaw was set, they knew better than to argue with her.

 

 

 

Snow nodded and looked at Neal who in turn glanced at Emma with sad eyes “Go on Neal” Emma prodded “I’ll be with you in a few minutes”. She reassured him by keeping a gentle hold on his arm, the one with the injured fingers.

 

 

 

 

Regina caught the look between Emma and Neal. There was genuine concern in Emma’s eyes, but something more than concern also popped up too, and Regina found herself panicking.

 

 

_God, had she blown it? She should have controlled herself. I mean which sane person, goes around town breaking fingers?_

 

 

 

Without waiting another second, Regina turned and walked away into the kitchen. Moments later she heard her door being slammed shut and when Emma came in, her eyes were flashing with the maddening rage of a wild beast set free.

 

 

 

 

“What the flying fuck Regina!” Emma yelled even before she had completely set foot in the kitchen “You broke his finger? YOU BROKE HIS FINGER” Emma enunciated the words again, as if saying it that way rationalizes the action.

 

 

 

“I don’t want to talk to you. You are really mad now. We both will say things which we shall regret later. So I guess it is better if we spoke tomorrow”

 

 

 

 

“No! For fuck’s sake Regina, you intentionally broke the finger of _Henry’s father_ and seem to feel no remorse over it either!”

 

 

 

 

“Since when did you start addressing him as _Henry’s_ father?” Regina asked truly annoyed now

 

 

 

 

“That is what you got out of it? Henry’s father? Jesus. By the way, he IS Henry’s father, start accepting that fact. Simply for Henry considers Neal to be HIS father. Your opinion doesn’t count Regina!”

 

 

 

“Don’t you dare _Miss Swan_ ”

 

 

 

“Really Regina? I can’t believe you can do such an incredibly stupid thing and still not feel ashamed enough to stand there and justify it, as if it were the most natural reaction in the world!”

 

 

 

 

“It wasn’t a normal reaction. I thought you knew how incredibly abnormal I was. Unhinged even, Evil Queen you see?” Regina said poker faced, as she set the container with the chocolate cake slices on the counter in front of her.

 

 

 

 

“Ok Stop! Stop with that” Emma was now moving towards Regina but an arm thrust in front of her stopped her in her tracks.

 

 

 

Emma was now livid with anger. But more than anger she felt flames of disappointment burn in her chest. While she is certain that Neal must have done something to provoke Regina, there was no way that the brunette could justify reacting with the kind of violence she had ended up resorting to.

 

 

 

Regina though was reading the entire scene differently.

 

 

 

“Why? Miss Swan tell me, what is bothering you more, the fact that I ended up breaking Mr Cassidy’s finger or that it was **Mr Cassidy’s** finger that was broken”

 

 

 

Emma couldn’t hide the surprise she felt when Regina uttered the words. Was the woman questioning her intent? Her feelings for Regina?

 

 

“Fuck you Regina”

 

 

 

“Yes, because you have plenty _others_ to do you” Regina spat out

 

 

 

“What the hell has gotten into you woman?” Emma asked dumbstruck. She couldn’t understand why Regina was lashing out so viciously.

 

 

 

“I saw the way you were looking at him. It wasn’t just friendly concern”

 

 

 

“Of course not Regina. Neal isn’t just a friend. He is…He is…” the word dissolved on her tongue.

 

 

 

“Your **_other_ ** lover?” Regina completed it for her.

 

 

 

“Whatever floats your boat” Emma was beyond incensed to even bother with arguing back.

 

 

 

“Hook was right” Regina muttered under her breath.

 

 

 

“Hook?” Emma’s eyes widened. “Oh your ever enlightened new **best friend** Baba Hook” she said, sarcasm dripping in her tone.

 

 

 

“Well at least he is a _‘true’_ friend and stands by me. Unlike others, who abandon ship the minute a shiny new ship comes along?”

 

 

 

 

“What are you even talking about Regina?” a confused Emma gaped at Regina.

 

 

 

“Tell me Emma why haven’t you told Neal that you can’t marry him” Regina asks, her eyes now spilling all the emotions she is feeling.

 

 

 

Emma’s eyes soften the minute she looks into those ridiculously expressive eyes “Regina, I thought I told you I didn’t accept his proposal” her voice barely a whisper now.

 

 

 

“No _Miss Swan_. You said you didn’t accept his proposal, but you never said you rejected it either. Why haven’t you told him an outright **NO**?”

 

 

 

“Regina, this is not the time and occasion to discuss this issue”

 

 

 

Regina backed away from Emma and moved towards the fridge. She opened the door and casually reached for a carton of soy milk. “Why not? I am ready. Go along, answer the simple question”

 

 

 

“Because there is no simple answer to this **complex** question, OK?” Emma said in between gritted teeth.

 

 

 

Regina is pouring herself a glass of cold milk, “Hook told me…”

 

 

 

“Really, enough with the Hook anthem!” Emma cuts her off “Stop being influenced by what your ‘ _newfound_ ’ best mate has been filling your brain with”

 

 

 

“And you stop patronizing the friendship between the Captain and me. Just because he has a colorful past, doesn’t mean you throw around your Savior superiority complex around us, every chance you get. So hard to believe I can have a true friend?”

 

 

 

 

“No Regina, what is hard to believe is the people you choose to call your best friend”

 

 

 

 

“Why because your friends haven’t gobbled up their boyfriend is it? Or pre-curse your best friend had no trouble in lusting after a married man? Or your other friend August clearly manipulated and tinkered with your life and spent all your money frolicking in Bangkok with some wooden brained bimbos? I don’t see you shying away from befriending them” Regina’s voice was shaky by the time she had finished.

 

 

 

 

“You know what? I’m done here. There is no point in hoping to have a sane conversation with you tonight” Emma said defeated and her eyes now weary with the exhaustion of this entire exchange.

 

 

 

“Yes, run, please. It is what you do best”

 

 

 

“Regina,” she wanted to say a million other things, but none of them tumble out of her mouth, so instead she says what she must “I **must** go. Neal is waiting….”

 

 

 

Regina said nothing, so Emma was moving out as swiftly as she had entered.

 

 

 

“Wait” Regina called after her, when she had almost one leg out of the door “Here, take this” Regina thrust her hand out and Emma’s eyes fell on the container with the chocolate cake. “I baked this thinking it would be the sweetest ending to a perfect day”, she sighed.

 

 

 

Emma stood there blinking for a few seconds and then all of a sudden spoke, “I think I’ve had enough sweet words from you for the day. So why don’t you save this sweetness for your **best** friend?”

 

 

 

“Emma! I baked this for you”

 

 

 

“And I said that I don’t want it!” Emma snapped, her voice harsh and firm

 

 

 

She was about to leave when again Regina’s voice halted her movement “He…Neal…he came in moments before you did and told me that the reason you refused to marry me is because of Henry”

 

 

 

At the mention of Henry, Emma bit her lower lip but remained silent. A whole different set of images, from a conversation that seemed like eons ago, scurried past her mind.

 

 

 

“According to him, you’re afraid that marrying him would make me feel threatened – looking at the happy biological family together – and I’d take away Henry from you. So, so…he asked me to legally give up Henry to you…” a sob escaped her throat and she wiped away the few tears that have managed to rebel their way out.

 

 

 

“I think Regina all he did was address a valid concern. I can’t see any reason how that warranted you breaking his finger!”

 

 

 

“So, you’re still going to go to Neal now?” Regina’s anger had clearly dissipated and it reflected in how her tone bordered around pleading now.

 

 

 

“Yes, I told you, I have to” Emma said without missing a beat.

 

 

 

“Why?”

 

 

 

“Because, he is _Henry’s father_ Regina”

 

 

 

The air between them was thick with tension and disappointment. Still, Regina thrust he hand out once again, the container symbolizing a peace offering, and her eyes shining with tears of guilt and worry.

 

 

 

But Emma walked away without so much as even offering a tiny morsel of comfort or assurance to Regina in return.

 

 

 

Regina, who still stood facing the fading form of the woman whom she loved, disappearing into the darkness, her arms still outstretched holding the container - with the cake she baked - ending her night, just as she began her every morning, for a certain Emma Swan.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
